#hour 6

Stepping out into the clearing, senses on high alert and anger churning in his gut, Madara stared at the Senju, Sharingan spinning. Then his eyes were drawn to the hole in the ground beneath an old gnarled tree. A freshly dug grave. Was this an ambush? He couldn’t sense anyone else nearby. And the Senju was without armor. Without any visible weapons. Frowning, he nearly growled out, “What is the meaning of this?”

Standing quite still, expression almost… Sad? …the Senju lifted his arms out from his body, palms facing towards Madara. “You set your condition. My death for peace between our clans.”

He scoffed. “You expect me to believe you are willing to just lie down and die?”

“If it means the children will be allowed to be children… To grow up without a kunai in their hand and the terror of trying to survive on a battlefield…? Yes.”

The first time Madara felt watched, he was still a child, and his parents insisted he was imagining things. But Madara knew what he had seen, and those yellow eyes haunted his dreams for years to come.

Then, when he reached his teens, something peculiar happened. Those yellow eyes reappeared while Madara was alone on a mission, but a pale young man chased them away. At first Madara was grateful. Until he saw the trees behind the young man—through him—and realized it was a ghost. He was not proud of his reaction, but he was alone, so there was nobody but the ghost there to see him run.

Zouis rolls in on a bicycle built for two that Louis promptly drops on the ground the second they arrive at their destination. “Let’s just leave that there…okay!” He then asks Zayn what he thought about Stan going back to Zayn’s school to meet with his teachers, and, like me, Zayn thought it was hilarious. God, the heat:

But we’re off to bigger things, like Louis getting fired up because he can’t see any text on the teleprompter, so he and Zayn improvise an awkward discussion around a mural that took Zayn about an hour (!) to produce. “Shall we move on? Or just stand here awkwardly for a bit longer?” God, I love him.

Off we go to the Google+ Hangout area (lmaooo, such technical superiority), where the first question is from a family of fans who want to know some family traditions. Louis describes the way the D “hoodless” and whispers words of encouragement to each other before they go on stage, but that’s not what the mom meant, so Louis’s done with her. (Zayn has nothing to share here; smart!) “We’re apparently not very good at answering your questions, but you said you’re our biggest fans, so it’s not the worst thing in the world.” Mom: “That’s true.” Oh, man, burn!

The next question is what has been your ultimate fashion disaster? Louis says probably the red trousers because they were a bit “loud,” and Zayn has something that he spray-painted pink, silver, and lime green (sounds pretty cute to me, actually). The next question is what Spice Girl name they’d give themselves, and Zayn says he’d be Scary and Niall would be Baby; Louis’s Sporty (meaning Harry must be Posh and Liam’s Ginger??).

Louis needs Zayn to translate every single time because he can’t hear for shit (paraphrasing), and after praising Denmark for being so clean, he argues that he’s the most fashionable, along with Zayn, in answer to the Danish fan’s question. When asked about whether they’d go to the future or past, Zayn opts for future, and Louis says past so he could see some dinosaurs, and god, why do people ask these shitty questions, like, CONSTANTLY.

Next up, we visit the call box of doom, and the woozy fans who just listened to the album love it (one of them picks “Midnight Memories,” which surprises us all: so far, “Strong” has been the one to beat).

Louis’s pretty pissed off that he can’t tell which camera to look into, but it sounds like Ben’s pissed off, too, because someone’s shouting about it being the one they’re all pointing to, lol. We get some VT from the US plus “Little Black Dress,” neither of which appear on this re-airing.

When we come back, we’re on the couches with a blond guy that nobody introduces but who seems to have a good handle for being on camera. There’s a wildly complicated game to play, but Louis’s actually pretty good at it (so is Zayn), and look at this face and tell me this guy hates everything about the D:

Time for another attempt at a world record, and I love how fascinated Louis is by these two observers: “Have you ever broken a world record yourself? How long have you had this job? Did you always want to do this job?” God I love him. Anyway, the Guinness World Record dude does, too, telling him that he has faith in One Direction (Louis: “Thanks…means a lot”).

Zayn came close to winning with Liam, so he has the eye of the tiger and is coaching Louis on how they’re gonna win this thing (it’s impossible…Louis has to dress Zayn in more than 30 t-shirts in 60 seconds). Somehow, they only get nine shirts on, prompting Louis to wail “I’ve let him down!!” about Zayn and then pretend he heard 39 instead:

Zayn, his nine shirts, and Louis head off to the randomizer to deal with some celebrity questions, and first up is Nigel, Louis’s old head master who outs Louis as idolizing Justin Bieber back in the day, so who does he idolize now? Louis’s irritated beyond belief by the buzzing in his ears, so he gripes, “I don’t remember saying Justin Bieber was ever my idol, but now it’s probably Robbie Williams.” Zayn has no current idol, so Louis offers to take that role, and Zayn accepts (me, too, Zayn).

Celine Dion appears on the screen, and I say this with love because I’ve never missed a taped or print interview with her, ever, but she’s a fucking nutjob from way back. After rambling on about her own superstitions, she asks the boys what theirs are. Louis: “We all know what Celine Dion does with her personal time, so Zayn, what do you do?” Zayn agrees theirs is secret, and Louis says they already said it earlier, so thank u, next.

Kermit and Miss Piggy are there, and Zayn is CHARMED by this waste of time. Their eventual question is what sort of things do the boys demand for their dressing room, and shockingly, it’s a few sweets, some fizzy cola, and crisps (pip, pip, cheerio).

My fave of all these QandAs is when Zayn’s sister asks them what their favorite video is. Zayn says “Kiss You,” but Louis says “Story of My Life,” and Zayn’s all, “Yeah, no.” Oh, man, another burn!

We have some VT from South America that doesn’t air, mic problems for Scott, rapped tweets, and Niall assisting Scott with the weirdly fast-moving wall of selfies.

But then we get the bit you CANNOT miss, watch it in full, every bit of it has been giffed, but it’s a glory to watch unfurl in context: behind the scenes with One Direction in Japan. Some of the highlights are Harry’s rather obvious bedmate situation, that baby spitting up on its mom’s boob while Harry gets all grossed out, Katy Perry and John Mayer, jealous!Louis (the bits all around “Do me a favour”), Olly Murs rubbing all over shirtless Niall, and my all-time favorite scene (I love everything about this picture):

Back in the studio, Niall’s there to talk to his idol, Michael Buble (!), and I guess they’re going to sing together later? idk, I’m more impressed with Niall’s spot-on Buble speaking voice impersonation. Anyway, why stick around inside when we can go outside to meet a Japanese fan dressed like a geisha who’s going to host a full ninja segment?

I’m not getting the point of this, but I love watching Louis all desperate for Scott’s attention while he’s interviewing Zayn (he really DOES need to be the center of everything, always) and the way these two trash talk each other while looking unbelievably good:

After Zayn wins a sword (!) for his victory, we go to a sports VT that replays Liam surfing and Louis playing soccer, but with new footage of Harry playing tennis and Niall playing rugby (note: zero sports for Zayn, the most relatable). Me as the girl who yells, “We love you Liam!” while he’s stretching in his street clothes near a soccer field, earning an immediate thumbs up from Lime.

Back in the studio, Zayn and Louis do some yo-yo’s with a fan from the Philippines and then go rubber duck fishing for the next follow spree. Niall’s “I LOVE DUCKS!!” and Louis’s answering, sing-song, “Thank you, Niall!” is the stuff of dreams: 

I’m still confused by the Bollywood dancing bit, but look at this, godddd (I couldn’t capture Louis in his dancing glory, but we’ve all seen it a lot):

We meet the guys who actually play all the music on stage, and it’s boring, but then we’re at the main event, the live version of “Little Things,” with everyone looking uncomfortable on the floor, and honestly, if I was this close to Liam, who’s still in his wrestling suit, I’d do this, too:

This whole bit is so embarrassing, but wow, it’s worth watching for the Ziam and Larry harmonies, for seeing if you can hear Harry sing “all his little things,” like, twice, and for Louis’s low-key reaction during all of it: