More Akatsuki video game headcanons, this time for how they would play Baldur's Gate 3:
Pain- Wizard. He's nice to the companions and helps a lot of the side characters, but he takes over the Elder Brain at the end. It's for the greater good.
Konan- Cleric. Makes sure to get the best endings for all the companions, and also helps all the side characters. Hates Wulbren. Goes to Avernus wirh Karlach at the end.
Obito- Oath of vengeance paladin. He thinks he wants to take over the brain, but he keeps getting distracted and hit with the urge to restart whenever he reaches act 3.
Kisame- Fighter. Plays in honor mode and even installs mods that make the enemies stronger. Then he nearly rage-quits when he fights Grym, but he refuses to skip the fight. Surprisingly fond of Scratch and the owl bear cub.
Itachi- Rogue. Does multi-player with Kisame. Major completionist. He takes every choice very seriously and spends way too long deliberating over them.
Kakuzu- Warlock. He gets dragged into a multi-player run by Hidan, mainly to be his bodyguard as he starts fights with everyone. Gives Astarion up to the monster hunter and lets Auntie Ethel keep Mayrina. Greatly enjoys robbing Raphael. Hidan makes him keep Shovel as a familiar.
Hidan- Barbarian. You may be expecting him to play Dark Urge, but he refuses to associate with any god other than Jashin, so Bhaal is an imposter in his eyes. This doesn't stop him from still killing every npc he can get away with. For example, he kills the goblins harassing Barcus, then launches Barcus off of the windmill anyway. Regularly gets yelled at by Kakuzu for starting fights with massive groups of enemies.
Deidara- Wild magic sorcerer. Regularly gets the whole party killed with magic surges. Makes Karlach and Lae'zel carry a ridiculous amount of explosive barrels so he can use them in every fight. Blows up the Steel Foundry without saving the Gondians. He hates Gale for being ungrateful about his bomb, and he gets a game over in act 1 by killing Gale and refusing to resurrected him. But of course he save-scums everything so he never faces any consequences for his bad decisions :)
Sasori- Installs a mod to add the artificier class. He actually gets very into the story and enjoys the strategic elements. He claims he doesn't care about helping the side characters, but he's secretly nice to the tiefling children and that orphan in act 3.
Zetsu- Druid, of course. He's the one who plays dark urge, and the black and white half spend the whole game arguing about whether to resist or not. Licks the dead spider.
It may be too obvious who my favorite characters are.
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Now IM imaging Black zetsu watching humans like it's daytime television and he's so bored and ancient and yet childlike and foolish and he is shipping real people and changing history and he's playing Sims is what it is, he's Playing sims until he gets the ideal situation to bring mama back.
Madara is appropriately wary of Tobirama after he invented teleportation jutsu and used it to blitz his brother in one on one combat.
But AFTER EDO TENSAI all bets must have been off. Nothing is impossible now! And remember, Madara did somehow get his hands on edo tensai. What else was hiding inside nidaime-sama's labs? What manner of all thing else was he working on?
Perhaps Zetsu was the one sending Kumo after Tobirama over and over because the hatred and harshness yessss good good. But then he started breaking the rinne rebirth cycle by summoning souls. The genius has gone too far. He's got to go.
New headcannon: somewhere along the way, Senju Tobirama fractured the timeline. So we get as many valid AUs as we want. Including naruto mobile.
I tried a Naruto themed Minecraft mod and started thinking about how the Akatsuki would play the game, then I realized I have free will and can post it. So, if anyone is interested:
Pain- Finds a village and tries to become its God-King by killing mobs and building new stuff. Gets annoyed when the villagers don't react.
Konan- One of the only ones who plays the game as intended. She's probably the best at it. Has a nice house within a few hours. Adopts some dogs and cats.
Zetsu- Idk. Installs a lot of mods to add more plants. White Zetsu wants to make a garden while Black Zetsu wants to fight everything.
Obito- If they're playing together, he plays as Tobi and pretends to be bad at the game. Eventually he gets tired of this and goes off to play on his own, but first he decorates everyone's buildings with flowers. Some appreciate this more than others.
Itachi- Like Konan, probably also plays the game as intended and is pretty good at it. However, he ends up crying while building a room for Sasuke in his house.
Kisame- His favorite thing to do is watch mobs fight each other. He builds an arena and everything. Maybe sometimes he takes a break and builds an aquarium.
Kakuzu- Doesn't want to play but gets dragged into it by Hidan. Doesn't play that much, but has more fun than he'd admit. Has a stockpile of emeralds from trading with villagers.
Hidan- Runs around sacrificing villagers to Jashin. Tries to sacrifice stronger mobs too, but can't figure out how to get good enough gear to do that. Also wants to build a temple for Jashin but has to ask Kakuzu for help.
Deidara- Does it even need to be said? Explosions. Downloads that mod that adds more explosives and sets off so many at the same time that he crashes the game. If they play multi-player, he's probably getting kicked out for blowing up the others' buildings.
Sasori- Like Kakuzu, he's probably not very interested in the game but gets convinced to try it by Deidara. They end up continuing their art argument, as Sasori builds statues of his puppets and Deidara keeps blowing them up.
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Listening to Juubidara speak on peace and humanity, thinking he's finally won. Internally the whole time musing: I'm glad he's having fun right now because it's going to be sooooo funny when I turn him into Mother
Jim carreys the grinch voice: but what will I WEAR?!?