#hetace

Heteromantic aces are amazing and valid! Heterosexual aros are wonderful and awe inspiring! If you're het and aspec, you are still queer, and you bring a unique perspective to the aspec community that deserves to be listened to!

Het apsecs belong in the LGBTQ+ community, and our experiences deserve to be represented and recognized just as much as any other LGBTQ+ person's do. We aren't "straight lite" or basically straight or any less queer for the het attraction we have, because our aspec identity makes us queer.

So stay gorgeous and uniquely you, and don't let the aphobes and exclusionists tear you down!

Heteroromantic Asexuals and Aromantic Heterosexuals are valid parts of the LGBTQ+ community! (if they consider themselves part of it)

Totally! You can identify as gay, bi, pan, straight, etc. while also being ace or aro spectrum. Sexuality and attraction are a lot more complicated than people think. But we still have aphobes in and outside of the LGBTQIAP+ community who like to (inaccurately) label all asexuals as ‘basically straight’. The going idea being that not being attracted to people or not dating gives you the appearance of being straight or something (?). Which must mean that, by default, they see people as ‘straight until proven gay’. Basically mistaking erasure for privilege.   There are also those whom think that being asexual means that you also have to be aromantic. And discoursers like to scream “HOMOPHOBIA!” when someone identifies as gay AND ace, as if you can’t be both (ex. check out any post about Tim Gun being ace). None of which makes sense to me.

The bad part is that ‘othering’ and gatekeeping can also be found within the ace community. The discourse being that some feel that straight aces don’t belong in the ace community because they are seen as having ‘straight privilege’. Straight aces can date and be seen as ‘normal’. And while straight aces can appear to have straight privilege from a distance, they are still in the minority when it comes to their orientation. Many aces are told that their sexuality must be a medical condition. Hetaces aren’t able to talk about their sexuality without being made fun of or being told that they’re ‘weird’. Het aces often face rejection from partners when they come out as ace. Some have even been victims of corrective rape. It’s like a Russian nesting doll of gatekeeping that’s tearing apart what should be a safe space for all aces. 

Just know that people against hetaces/straight aces are a loud minority and that you belong in the ace community as much as any other ace. 

specifically, straight ace dudes

theres a lot of pressure to “be” with girls a lot and to brag about how much sex you have

and theres a lot of stereotyping towards straight dudes. how they’re supposed to be jerks who only care about having sex

you guys aren’t weird or anything just cause you aren’t like other straight dudes. you’re doing good. keep doing you. even if you aren’t ace but you just dont like having sex that much, you’re still okay. youre normal. 

shout out to the ones who get glossed over, the ones who get ignored, the ones who get insulted and hated and targeted. shout out to the aspecs who feel "too straight" to be lgbtq+. shout out to the het aspecs who don't identify as lgbtq+. shout out to the ones who do. you are all equally important and valued and loved.

shout out to all het aspecs who have ever felt inadequate or wrong in some way. you are beautiful and amazing the way you are.