can I be straight & asexual? Because I saw people hating on someone who said they were ace then said they were straight but that's how I feel? I'm ace but I still love my boyfriend and still consider myself straight. I mean I guess I know I CAN be both just why do people say you can't be? That doesn't make sense I feel like being asexual can go right next to gay or straight it doesn't have to be are you straight or gay or asexual
Totally! You can identify as gay, bi, pan, straight, etc. while also being ace or aro spectrum. Sexuality and attraction are a lot more complicated than people think. But we still have aphobes in and outside of the LGBTQIAP+ community who like to (inaccurately) label all asexuals as ‘basically straight’. The going idea being that not being attracted to people or not dating gives you the appearance of being straight or something (?). Which must mean that, by default, they see people as ‘straight until proven gay’. Basically mistaking erasure for privilege. There are also those whom think that being asexual means that you also have to be aromantic. And discoursers like to scream “HOMOPHOBIA!” when someone identifies as gay AND ace, as if you can’t be both (ex. check out any post about Tim Gun being ace). None of which makes sense to me.
The bad part is that ‘othering’ and gatekeeping can also be found within the ace community. The discourse being that some feel that straight aces don’t belong in the ace community because they are seen as having ‘straight privilege’. Straight aces can date and be seen as ‘normal’. And while straight aces can appear to have straight privilege from a distance, they are still in the minority when it comes to their orientation. Many aces are told that their sexuality must be a medical condition. Hetaces aren’t able to talk about their sexuality without being made fun of or being told that they’re ‘weird’. Het aces often face rejection from partners when they come out as ace. Some have even been victims of corrective rape. It’s like a Russian nesting doll of gatekeeping that’s tearing apart what should be a safe space for all aces.
Just know that people against hetaces/straight aces are a loud minority and that you belong in the ace community as much as any other ace.