#harm prevention

Waya (why-yuh)

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Info + More under cut ✂️

hi, honey.

i received this in my asks after getting one from you.

i'm not interested in finding out the "truth."

i'd rather encourage you (allegedly) and/or anyone lying about their age to reflect and identify what that may signal about any missing needs in their life.

if that perspective or ones about your own safety are not compelling enough, consider this:

in bdsm and kink spaces, one's boundaries are important. honesty, communication, and safety are tenets of these spaces. to break that trust and automatically void consensual interactions, that disrespects the very people you wish to make connections with.

i, for one, wouldn't want someone to prove they don't care about my comfortability, boundaries, and preferences. makes sense, right?

I'm always trying not to trip on my cats because I know what something my size could do by trampling them. My feet flinch upward if I step on a cat toy thinking it could be a cat appendage. And the cats, they could pierce an artery faster than I could react if they really wanted to, and only by mishaps have I ever endured how sharp their teeth or claws really are at full force. They sheathe themselves out of habit, even when they're mad at me, just as much as I watch where I'm going.

Last night, Ven was with me in bed again. He knows that I'll have to lift the covers from under him to then let him under, and he knows how to park himself from where he stood. He also knows I'll have to turn onto my side and move the pillow as we do this to make myself comfortable, so he adjusts as I do instead of leaving. And he nestled himself right up against me with my face in his fur.

And what really got me thinking about all this as a show of trust was that once we were both settled, I felt for his tail and scooped it up so he could coil it against himself where I couldn't roll onto it. He didn't react at all.

That Correlate With Increased Safety Risk

(this is about patterns of behavior, not labels or insults.)

It starts with a fixation on a specific person.

 • intense interest / “falling fast”

 • cycling back for attention

• clingy after boundaries

 • difficulty letting go after rejection

restriction of access, not rejection itself, is often what triggers escalation.

⚠️ response to rejection matters⚠️

A healthy response looks like:

• sadness

• distance

• acceptance

An atypical response may include:

• resentment

• entitlement

• anger

• rumination

This can present as silent anger, passive aggression, incel-adjacent thinking, or continued pursuit after a clear “no”. There is no ‘winning someone back’ if consent was never given.

‼️Boundary violations to take seriously:

• lingering or blocking doorways

• pushing for “alone time”

• ignoring visible discomfort

• hostility when boundaries are named

• secrecy around criminal activity

• unpredictable emotional outbursts

• denial without accountability

‼️⚠️ Stories involving voyeurism or sexual boundary violations are not “just stories.”

⚠️narrative manipulation is a major red flag⚠️

• willingness to distort reality

• victim framing

• attempts to control social outcomes

These behaviors correlate with retaliatory escalation when someone feels cornered.

This PSA is not

about demonizing loneliness.

It is about recognizing patterns early so harm can be prevented.

Trust patterns.

Avoiding Self injurious behaviour.

I have happy stims, exactly 3 of them:

1: I clap but with my wrists, I basically just slam the area of the wrist just under my palms against each other.

2: I kick my knees against each other.

3: if I am on my stomach, I will start kicking my legs like a giggly schoolgirl.