#guilsreads

like flowers that wither within words/ like daydreams that feel alive/ like blackholes that breathe in colours/ like memories wrapped in silk & blade/ like words a wounded ocean saved from drowning/ like metaphors collected inside an empty vessel/ like you & me, she would say

home is everything the left chamber of your heart refuses to let go.

you are a prisoner

an ex-prisoner, anyway

and i am a prostitute

an ex-prostitute, i should say.

you are also

my ex-boyfriend.

.

lots of words

scribbled on our psyche

used to define

who we are.

words scratched out

Thief.

Liar.

Punk.

Loner.

Boyfriend.

.

but people change

and with them

their labels.

.

but certain phases

aren’t phases

and cause enough

of a psychic shift

that they

stick

no matter

how hard

you scrub

your mind.

.

you can only press a pencil

so deep into the paper

before even the best of erasers

can’t fully erase the evidence

of what word

you chose.

.

so

you will always be a prisoner

i will always be a prostitute.

that is the way

it cannot end without naming,

all the wishes a fist can’t hold.

all the yellow midnight skies which sing of

milk, honey & wasted youth.

all the nudity in words and naiveness in thoughts.

all the 11:11 moments where you’d rather hold my hand

than seeking a wish.

all the times when sunshine caressed a sunflower’s loneliness away.

the times when getting drunk on rain

seemed better than seeing the sky cry.

/

i cannot write your name 

without it sounding like a poem

that stretches along the horizon,

across the oceans 

& beyond the cosmos.

for you to fly.

some wings are there

to drown.

you’ll find yourself 

sinking

in the only expanse of air

you thought

was made, for you to breathe.

{not all wishes granted

are wishes

Its 4 am

I’ve drifted asleep

You’re still not here

I’m sprawled out

In a cement corner

I woke up

Hips bruised from the concrete

My backpack was gone.

Earlier that day, I lost my phone.

And now you, too, are missing.

A kind stranger asks if I’m okay

I tell him I am.

It’s okay to lie sometimes.

Everything I own is gone

My journals

My ID

My integrity

And you, too.

The only thing left

That wasn’t forgot, or stolen

Is my guitar.

Why they didn’t steal it

I have no idea

It’s certainly worth more

Than dirty clothes

And scribbled notes.

Worth more

Financially

Anyway.

But I’d give everything

To get those journals back.

IDs and debit cards

Can be replaced.

the world is full

of people

who don’t

give a fuck.

people roaring

down the interstate

porsche drop top

blaring nicki minaj’s

latest hit.

sidewalk people and their carts

full of treasured garbage

wearing one weathered shoe

and three crusted socks.

two extremes

with similar

underlying principles.

which will i

The tides soaked her bed,

Thunder and screams

Stormed her room

As she, the daughter

Of the infernal fire

Held on to her roots

.

There was water

In her body

Tears welled her eyes

But the fire still burned

In her soul and

A conflagration in her mind.

.

She hugged her body,

As the liquid cascaded

To her paling cheeks

Wondering how to survive

Fight the riptide

When the demon

was within herself.

.

The rain

Fastened and strengthened;

Cataracts and falls,

Rapid deluges

Demolished the walls

She had built.

In throbbing pieces

The red and gold slowly

Got washed

Away in hues of blue,

Her enigmatic

Thoughts smudged

As she yearned to find

A lifejacket amidst

The perilous waves

.

Tracing every inch

Of her skin

Now shuddering

As the tsunami seemed almost

Merciless and raged;

.

As elemental water

Flooded her core,

She nearly lost her hope

Then she remembered

An essential lesson,

There are some fires

That water cannot douse.

Electricity pulsated through her veins

Keeping her alive,

Everyone knows a fire

Started by passionate current

Cannot be put out by tides.

.

So she fought back with

All her remaining breaths,

Her blaze gradually growing

Wilder by the second.

Inch by inch,

She stood back up

Synchronized to the rhythm

Of her dancing flames,

Devouring her demons

With a soldering touch.

.

Behold,

Daughter of the infernal flames.

- ~♥~ Evangeline and Madeline ~♥~

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