#flins x reader

"原神 ✶ SYNOPSIS," ◦ ₊ㅤ ﹙　the nod krai men find out their girlfriend is a virgin, obviously not for long.　૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎ა　artist credits: here　reblog / like 2 support　 ⃘໋ׅ♡　𝑤.𝑐: 3.7k　⁀ ˳ ⟡　masterlist <3

ꗃ .. FEATURING ꒰ flins, varka, dottore, lohen ꒱

♡⏝　⸝⸝　　𝓦ARNINGS ˖　 ❝　　nsfw　fem!reader　smut　squirting　p i v sex　spitting　gentle sex　you do the hair pulling　fae's have biiiig dicks　cunnilingus　they go raw　oral sex (f receive)　fingering　nip play　tummy bulges　overstimulation　teasing　drooling　gentle giant varka　getting pinned down　varka is gigantic　medicinal play / consensual drugging　dottore treats sex like some experiment　pussy slapping　lohen is mean　orgasm denial　❞

── #⃝ MINA'S NOTES ( 💬 )　plz send thirsts fill up my inbox like how flins fills my puthy up, also header inspired by cumironi mwah　 divider credits

ɞ⠀.⠀FLINS ﹗ ໒꒱۪

Flins was a gentleman, of course he was. He needed to be one anyways, he didn't need you squirming and sobbing and pushing him away if he went too rough with his size. You were a human after all.

"E-eeh.. s-slowly.." you whimpered, naked and nervously sweating underneath him, hands braced on his chest while he was gently spreading your legs open.

"I'll be as gentle as I can be, darling," he whispered softly, leaning over and pecking your cheek, before moving his lips over to your forehead, and finally your lips. His lips were soft, but cold against your warm ones. Your eyes had fluttered to a close, while he was moving his thumbs to rub at your sticky folds and soften you up.

🍓Waiting for shop to reset so I decided to rank and evaluate how some genshin men (my favorites, sorry i’m biased) deal with jealousy. Quick answer is: Not well, lol. May do the women next, if there is demand.

Venti: 4/10

Venti has very little reason to be jealous, in fact, he kind of enjoys when others come onto you. Finds it funny. Encourages it at times. Sure he is possessive, but that plays into it a bit. He lets it go for a little while, only to come in when the other party thinks they’ve really got a chance and squash them all at once. You will likely not be privy to his annoyance with the other person, because he plays it off so well. However, you can get him pissed off if you lean into the flirting just a bit. In that case, he’ll make it very known to both you and your companion just how taken you are. Best prepare for a long night, my friend :)

Varka: 1/10

Sorry if this disappoints, guy doesn’t care. Most carefree, hands off man in the world. Someone’s flirting with you? Good! You’re fantastic! Really, why wouldn’t he want to share your wonderful smile with the world. Besides, everyone knows you’re the grandmasters partner. Think of it like him showing off, he doesn’t mind it at all so long as you come home with him. Though, sometimes, you’ll hear him admit that it bothers him just a bit. He knows your loyalties, but it’s hard when he has to share your attention sometimes. Just kiss him, his tail will start wagging and he’ll forget why he was upset in the first place.

Lohen: 5/10

He’s a bit of an odd case. On one hand, he has no doubt in his mind that you could do any better than him (egotistical freak). On the other, what’s up with all the testing his boundaries, don’t these people know who you’re with? Kinda stupid if you ask him. I doubt he gets all that jealous often, just annoyed that people are taking up your time when they don’t need to be. It’s not hard for him to scare them off, of course, so he’d never have any reason to do much about it… but still… you’re not on the market. Does he need to tattoo it on your forehead? Maybe a ring would work instead…

Tartaglia/Childe: 7/10

Chalk it up to his lack of emotional maturity, he gets jealous pretty easy, and he makes it well known to you and your little friend. Walks up behind you and makes it very obvious you are an item. A duo. Two peas in a pod. You get it buddy? Go away?? Still, he’s… nice enough about it. There’s a level of decorum he has… a level. It’s best to just pull him away quickly, or else he’ll get a little mean, and we don’t need this dog (fox?) barking do we?

Zhongli: 4/10

It may surprise you to see him be anything over a 2, but I believe old man’s still got it. Of course, he’s fairly chill, and he’s not the type to worry about anything like that too much. But, he does know what a prize you are. You caught the eye of the lord of geo, that little mark on your wrist proves it, you’re special. Others most certainly will agree, so he has to be wary. When he does have to “confront” an issue… he does so, so smoothly, you and the other party hardly realize he’s moved the conversation to another topic. Gramps still got that smoothness.

Kazuha: 2/10

Are we surprised guys. Kazuha wouldn’t bat an eye to any stranger you’re talking to, only gets concerned if they seem aggressive. He’s a gentle soul, and he knows what your relationship is. You can hold your own, and you’ll say no if you need to. You’re not an object to covet, you’re a person. His person. So no need to worry about anything like that. Still… he’s a little more willing to step in than Varka if he feels someone is being too pushy. Checks on you subtly, and watches the interaction with a careful eye. Just in case.

Tighnari: 7/10

You absolutely have to hear me out on him I’m begging. He’s a fairly laid back person, I don’t think he gets jealous often and he doesn’t mind strangers being a little friendly with you or you back to them. However, why I put him so high, is when he does get jealous? He’s insufferable. Blame it on genetics or whatever, but when he gets that itch in the back of his skull, he has to scratch it. Very much a “I’m part of this conversation now and I’m going to remind you about ten times that this is my partner and they’re not interested oh did i tell you this i my partner yet?” kind of guy. Also a little more touchy than usual. It’s embarrassing as hell, but it’s just how he is. You smile and laugh it off, so it can’t be so bad in the end.

Cyno: 4/10

*Points behind me* This guy, amirite? Cyno is less jealous more naturally protective. He always eyes new people around you with caution until he’s sure they’re not a threat to your wellbeing. That being said, the flirting tends to just be dismissed as harmless in his eyes. So what if they’re interested, so was he. He made the move, they didn’t. …They better not. He’ll keep an eye on them just a little longer, to make sure… Yeah, you might have to get this guy to chill a little. He’s (mostly) harmless, but that endless glare freaks everyone around you out.

Kaveh: 10000000000/10

Hates sharing your attention so much, oh my god he’s pathetic. He doesn’t really have much to call his own, but you are his partner, therefore he gets to be a little jealous about the people who approach you. He’s not subtle, though he thinks he is. Sliding up against you, cuddling you into his side with a huffy little glare. It’s so funny, like an angry little rabbit. Don’t tease him, though, he won’t like that. (Alhaitham points it out every time he does it, and every single time it starts a “fight”)

Wriothesley: 6/10

He’s not outward with it, but he gets jealous pretty easily. As the person he is, he feels there are things he can’t provide you with. Sun, being the main one, but among other things. So, when he sees a relatively normal guy with a normal house and a normal job in the regular old city… he gets a little nervous. Of course, you’d never do that to him. But… well… he wouldn’t blame you for wanting a normal life. Just kind of watches the interacting with a patient stare, smiles at you when you’re done. He won’t mention it unless you notice, but he’s honest too. Figures it’s better you know than not. Give him a hug, won’t you…?

Neuvillette: 9/10

Doesn’t clock that he’s jealous, that bothers him more. Unnamed emotion he doesn’t understand haunting him like a goddamn ghost. He just knows he doesn’t like when the secretary touches your shoulder, or when the cafe owner speaks to you in such a soft affectionate voice. Never asserts himself either, just stands by and watches… wondering why he’s so… irritated by the sight. When he finally asks Wriothesley, it bothers him even more to know he is jealous. Jealous of what? You are already his. But, unfortunately, emotion doesn’t like his logic, so he stews in his jealousy quietly until your attention is back on him.

Ifa: 5/10

True Neutral. Does get jealous, doesn’t like to act on it. He’s got a good head on his shoulders, he’s not gonna cause a scene over a little friendliness. Again, he’s the type to sit on the side and watch with a passive expression. Waits for you to come back to him, then he’ll tell you he didn’t really like that person. If they keep you too long, he’ll make himself part of the conversation, but won’t do much else unless they’re touchy or pushy. Pretty relaxed and mature about it, all things considered.

Kinich: 1/10

I don’t think he thinks about it. I mean like, really. I don’t think he cares enough about the other person to really consider them a “threat” of any kind. He might recognize “Hey that’s a weird thing to say,” but if it doesn’t bother you it doesn’t bother him. Usually him just being there is enough to scare the other person off. His stare is intense when paired with his silence. Still, if they’re being too pushy, he’ll just bluntly ask what exactly they’re doing and why. Pretty effective for scaring the rest off.

Flins: 3/10

I think he would find “jealousy” a funny feeling, if he felt it much at all. Very much the type to stand to the side in bemusement of the offender. His eyes crinkle in this creepy way as he does, simply observing with delight as you give them nothing to work with. Of course, as anyone does, he doesn’t like seeing others flirt with you… but you can handle your own. And if you can’t? Don’t worry, Flins is more than able to spook any strangers from your side. All as long as you turn your pretty, praise filled smile his way.

Dottore: 9/10

lately you've been feeling like you're being followed. you'd turn around and find nothing. you feel like someone's looking at you through the window of your house, even seeing a shadow forming...but its just the tree and the breeze...

another time when you're on a date, and this douchebag doesn't wanna leave you alone and starts getting all handsy so you have to pry him off and dash towards your home while he whistles from behind for you

and the next day you wake up to a ring on your doorbell and a note stuck on the pavement...

'i don't agree with that annoying guy's ways. ps took care of him'

now obviously a rational part of you was scared thinking who was this man? why does he know this? but honestly you were more relieved over the fact that that guy is not gonna disturb you

an idea strikes you that if he was the guy who's been stalking you without any action, why not put him to work? so you start leaving grocery list on the doorstep on a sticky note before leaving for work and then coming back to a bag full of even medicines you were out of on the kitchen counter

he is this close to becoming your maid. he brings you groceries, midnight snacks, meds, household supplies, sometimes even slipping some money inside the bag. but honestly you can't really complain couse you feel like you're becoming rich now that the 'mystery man' has been helping you...but it can't be that guy whom you've been seeing frequently these days right?

— dottore , NEUVILLETTE , FLINS , varka , NOYYYY , valeriy , CHILDEEEEE , LOHENNN YES , blade (both), ASHVEIL , phainon , toji , gojo , sukuna (i think he'll be the scary) lucifer , mammon (bro's broke how he do dat) , BARBATOS , JADE , FLOYD

note:: obviously pls don't go stalking people you like just talk to them and take a no like a champ. i don't condone this behaviour its satire.

synopsis: flins is good at fucking you—you know that, and he knows that, too. it doesn’t hurt if maybe the ghosts are also made aware

before you read. ❤︎ 2k word count ; female reader ; established relationship ; smut — mdni ; exhibitionism ; mating press ; unprotected sex ; creampie ; praise ; i have no dignity left from writing this so i could not bear to proof read lol </3

commentary. ❤︎ i have no comments i would just like to say everyone should block @luffysprincess and @neiptune while you have the chance there is pure evil in their dna’s

Your favorite thing about Flins is how good he is at talking. Ironically, your least favorite thing is also how good he is at talking.

You don’t like how convincing he can be. (But then again, it’s rather enjoyable when he’s…well, convincing. You don’t ever have a bad time.)

“How lucky I am,” he murmurs, his nose brushing against the column of your throat. He inhales. It’s a sweet scent—the smell of your sweat and your lingering perfume. He likes when he gets to breathe it in right here as his hands dig into your thighs and press your knees closer to your chest. “Aren’t you just a marvelous sight? Breathtaking as always, my light.”

“H-how would you know,” you stutter, “it’s dark—would it kill you to have some more light in here?”

He chuckles.

(this plot is so overused. Does that mean I care? No, I'll do whatever I want so just enjoy my analysis or whatever)

Varka: Ass

He'd be super embarrassed about this question and probably blurt out "personality" or something like that. A knight shouldn't be so improper with his lover! But sometimes you see him staring a little too long on your behind for it to be a "friendly" look when you bend over to pick something up. If he's ever holding you close to him, his hands are always on the hips or waist, just close enough to your ass but never doing anything until you ask. Basically cock blocking himself lmao

Flins: Thighs

Also the type to say "personality" but more of an endearing way than anything else. Probably be like "you are so enchanting, how could I pick just one?" So he says personality instead. Though, he's never one to complain if he gets a nice shot of your thighs, doesn't care if they're small or big. He seems like the type of guy to enjoy giving oral, so having your thighs around his head is probably a fantasy of his.

Nefer: tits

Not ashamed of her answer, and it was quite obvious. She doesn't care about your body type either. If you're flat, she likes pinching and playing with your nipples from underneath your shirt, perhaps dragging her fingers along your areola. If you're well endowed she prefers to squish your tits between her fingers to relieve stress. One thing's for certain, with those claws on her fingers your skin will hurt and look red. Good thing she has her mouth to help.

Lauma: tits

Unlike Nefer, she prefers to admire your body from afar more than anything, and she is most importantly not crude. She likes laying her head on your chest regardless if your tits are big or not. If you're ever sore she likes massaging them within her fingers, but she'll never go past your boundaries. Though, if you ask her to take a step further she wouldn't mind, after all she does have a few fantasies and needs of her own.

Nicole: thighs

If you ever asked her this question, she'd at first go on a tangent about how human evolution evolved and why we find such body parts appealing despite them being storehouses of fat for the most part. If you ask her to give a straight answer she'd say thighs. She likes it when you wear shorts, maybe when you sit down and they seem to look bigger. Regardless of their size she likes to lay her head down there and stare up at you whilst yapping about another topic. If she feels cheeky she might bite.

Alice: ass

Practically has an obsession with slapping your ass, with how red it gets from her fondling sometimes. Especially likes it if you wear a tight dress or shorts, she just loveees admiring your figure. She may be busy but that won't exactly stop her from meeting you often enough to eye-fuck you. If you have a tattoo on your lower back best believe she's kissing that senseless. Other than that, she prefers to bend you over with her strap and take you from behind.

Arlecchino: thighs

You're often the one straddling her waist while she does her paperwork, and her hands always find themselves digging into your thighs. She'll stop if it hurts, but gods does she love looking at your legs when they're properly marked by her fingers. If she's eating you out expect plenty of teeth marks around your inner thigh. When she's holding you by your waist, she finds her fingers drawing circles on your hip, to outer thigh. Also likes the feeling of control when her hands spread your thighs open.

Columbina: tits

She takes a long time to think about it, especially since she likes all parts of you and never bothered to think about these sexual questions. She eventually says tits because they're the closest to your heart. She spends the time with you mostly listening to your heartbeat, so she finds it fair to prefer your tits. If anything else, you'll sometimes find her either squeezing or pinching your nipples since she's interested on your reactions and how they feel in her palm.

Illuga: tits

He'll freak out at first if you ever ask and refuse to answer. Though, he stares at your chest a lot more than what is necessary. If you have a gap between your tits, he likes fixating on that for whatever reason, especially when he can see that gap from your top. If you don't have a gap, that's fine too because he'll still be staring at how much space your breasts take. If you allow him to touch he'd probably do it once before chickening out. If you offer a titjob he's practically jello in your arms.

Sandrone: no preference

It's either she doesn't care or she cares for all parts of you equally. There's no real problem for her anyway, she takes what's most convenient. If you're cuddling with her her hands will rest on your tits. If you're standing beside her (with no one around) she'll place a hand on her ass. She likes observing how your thighs enlarge when you sit. You can please her with almost anything.

Dottore: different per segment.

Webtorre likes your tits, Omega your ass and prime your thighs. Though, if you attempt to seduce the different versions of him with any one, it will work. Webtorre will be the more eager of the three to grab a hold of your tits. Omega usually just takes whatever chance he gets and places a hand on your ass whenever he gets the opportunity of your bending over. Prime prefers it when you're cockwarming him and your thighs wrap around his waist. He gets hard just from the feeling of your thighs.

Wanderer: no preference

Also another one that doesn't care. If he's carrying you while he's flying, his hand will subtly palm your thighs. Time to time he listens to your heartbeat, so the cushioning on your chest is appreciated. If you don't have any, that's fine too. His hands are (for the most part) on your ass when you're walking together with no one around. He's not overtly dirty too, if you don't like it then he'll immediately stop.

Albedo: tits

ft. diluc, varka, kaeya, cyno, flins, wriothesley, childe, heizou, kinich / 18+ mdni

notes. in celebration of me getting my 1st diluc after 4+ years of playing, let’s see what he and the rest of our favourite genshin guys are packing AMIRIGHT??? first post kinda shy ,, should i do a part two

— DILUC's cock is a sight that makes your breath hitch, thick and long enough to stretch you wide as he presses the flushed fat tip against your entrance, the deep red blush spreading from the swollen head down the veined shaft like he's holding back a fire. you're already trembling when he sinks in slowly, every inch of his girth parting your walls with a delicious burn that has you clutching at his shoulders, his length filling you so completely that you feel him in your core. he's no grower, always half-hard from the mere thought of you, but he uses it with deliberate control, thrusting deep and steady to build heat until you're both lost in the rhythm.

“feel how much i need you,” he murmurs, voice rough as he bottoms out.

— VARKA’s massive length dwarfs everything else, so thick and big that you wonder how your body even accommodates it, the head nudging insistently at your slick folds while veins bulge along the shaft like ropes under taut skin, pulsing with his fastened heartbeat. he eases in with a groan, the girth splitting you open inch by agonizing inch, your pussy clenching around the invasion as if trying to hold on, and yet the stretch turns to pleasure when he starts to move, using his enormous cock to claim every part of you in powerful and unyielding strokes that leave you gasping and full.

“take it all for me, juuust like that,” he rumbles, hips snapping forward.

— KAEYA’s cock slides into view long and skinny, curving slightly to the left with a uniform tan hue that doesn't flush no matter how aroused he gets, the smooth length gliding against your thigh before he aligns it with your heat. it's not overwhelming in girth but hits all those spots inside you that make stars burst behind your eyes. he wields it with such teasing precision, angling the subtle lean to drag along your inner walls, drawing out your moans as he fucks you almost languidly, savoring every quiver.

“you just love how i reach there, don't you?” he whispers, smirking as he grinds deeper.

— CYNO's arousal builds fast. he's a true grower that swells to a relatively thick tan shaft veined subtly along its length, the tip darkening as he hardens fully before pushing into your waiting pussy with honest aggressive intent. he doesn't ease in—he thrusts hard from the start, the girth pounding against your depths, your body jolting with each forceful entry as he grips your hips, using his cock like a weapon to dominate and overwhelm, leaving you sore and satisfied in the aftermath of only the first round.

“you're mine to fuck however i want,” he growls, slamming home.

— FLINS boasts the longest cock among them, skinny and pale with a light, almost purplish blush tinting the tip and faint veins tracing its endless length, coiling around your fingers when you stroke it before he guides it to your entrance. it sinks in deep, impossibly so, filling you from the front to the back in one smooth glide that has your toes curling, and he uses it to explore every hidden spot, thrusting with an even, elegant rhythm to slowly build waves of ecstasy that crash over you endlessly.

“let me go even deeper inside you,” he breathes, inching further.

— WRIOTHESLEY's cock is a thick beast, pretty long too with a tip so fat it flares wide like a mushroom cap, pressing against your lips before he feeds it into your mouth, the girth stretching your jaw as veins throb under your tongue. when he finally enters your pussy, his swollen head pops past your rim and the length follows, stuffing you full with heavy, deliberate pumps that make your walls flutter wildly, his powerful thickness overwhelming you completely.

“swallow every bit of this fat cock,” he commands, voice low and gravelly.

— CHILDE's oh so long and relatively fat cock blushes a vivid pink across its freckled surface, the scattered spots dotting the shaft like stars as it twitches against your belly, hardening fully before he notches it at your core. he drives in with eager energy, the girth spreading you open while the length reaches deep, his hold on your waist tightening with each passionate thrust, using it to chase mutual pleasure in wild bursts that leave you both breathless and marked.

“look at how it blushes just for you,” he laughs softly, plunging in.

— HEIZOU might be a grower on the smaller side, but once it thickens to its full potential, his fat tip becomes his favorite tool, teasing your clit with lazy circles before dipping just the head inside your pussy, making you beg for more. he knows exactly how to use it, angling those shallow thrusts to rub your sensitive spots relentlessly, the girth of the tip stretching you teasingly as he builds your desperation with skilled, playful control.

“not yet—i wanna see what makes you tick first,” he teases, nudging insistently.

— KINICH strikes the golden middle, perfectly balanced length and girth with a smooth, warm shaft that fits you like it was made for this, sliding into your soaked heat with confident ease as veins pulse faintly under the skin. he wields it masterfully, varying his pace from slow grinds that savor the connection to quick snaps that hit just right, drawing out your gasps and shudders with intuitive precision that heightens every sensation.

“i'll make you come undone perfectly,” he promises, thrusting true.

you think he’s terribly annoying… pff he totally doesn’t care…right?

CHARACTERS [seperate] varka, flins, wanderer, lohen

WARNINGS suggestiveness !!!! flins makes innuendos, trigger warning for second hand embarrassment in wanderers ngl, lohen’s a little weird, kay? is he considered a yandere idfk im not well versed enough in that but he is pretty obsessed with reader

NOTES writing before lohens release so take his characterization with a heap of salt. also ignore typos this was written off of a blunt lmao.

fem!reader !!! she/her pronouns are used

VARKA

if you could use one word to describe grandmaster varka it would be irritating.

blowing away and splattering all the food you’re delivering with his vision accidentally while playing around with klee? irritating. getting down on his knees, kissing your hand and swearing on his knighthood he’s sorry in front of everyone in mondstadt’s square? even more irritating. spilling his ginormous cup of beer on your dress when you happen to both be out at the same time—do you even need to say it? it’s irritating.

you appreciate what he does as a grandmaster for the greater people of mondstadt but barbatos does he hinder your life. if anyone asked you, you’d prefer to stray away from wherever he ends up.

he feels contrary to you. he thinks you’re fascinating. gorgeous, pristine, kind-hearted, intelligent, and by the archons does he love your cooking at the good hunter. he’s irrevocably endeared with you. if anyone were to ask him, he’d say he’d like to be (honored to be) in your presence constantly. it really is a shame his motor and social skills run out the window whenever you’re around. i mean the only reason he vision-malfunctioned was because his brain dead-stopped seeing you looking all pretty. he may be the grandmaster and greatest hero of mondstadt but he is a man after all. at least that’s how he sees it.

he’s aware you don’t like hate him, he’s aware his initial attempt at your forgiveness made you more embarrassed and upset than you already were, but if he’s one thing, it’s an alcoholic perseverant. so he will try everything in his power to win you over!

carrying bags? he’ll swing by and take those off your hands…maybe flex his muscles a little bit in front of you too but that’s totally unintentional. worried about creeps on your walk home before leaving the angel’s share? diluc move, varka’ll walk you back! believe me if you barged into the KoF headquarters and asked him to do something, he’d drop all his work in an instant to get it done… just please don’t hate him anymore.

you essentially have him on a leash, at least that’s what diluc tells you while sliding you over a drink.

you hate to admit that he is useful…sometimes.

you’re coming back to mondstadt with a delivery payment when hillichurls corner you halfway back. shit. you’re mulling over what the fuck do do when a slice of air flies past you and the hillichurls dissipate at the hands of two greatswords before you can even process it.

there’s the grand master, broad shoulders, scruffy blond hair and all, standing before you and towering over your frame.

“are you alright, ma’am?” he asks, voice laced with concern. of course he still insists upon calling you ma’am.

you mutter something’s small about being fine, flustered with how his bright blue eyes and annoyingly cute dimples stare down at you.

“well then it seems my job here is done. would you like me to walk you back to the city, ma’am?”

“i-it’s fine—just thank you.” you probably look like an idiot right now, craning your neck to look up at him and a stupid awkward grimace because you’re flustered. curse varka and his endearing smile. curse him especially for what you do next—varka’s fault of course. you shift all your weight to your tippie-toes and lean upwards just in time to kiss him on his cheek, right beneath his most prominent scar. you don’t think you’ve ever seen him so flustered.

he tries to say something but mumbled gibberish just comes out. his skin flushes marinara sauce red, his hands tense up and twitch, his stupid smirk transforms into a nervous awestruck half smile like a bee-stung dog.

you turn and walk away, just as flustered as he, muttering a barely coherent, “bye, sir varka.” and he just stands there like an idiot, hands still twitching and wandering randomly like he doesn’t know what to do with them (he’s nervy okay). by the time his hands finally know what to do, one of them drifts up to trace over where you kissed (blessed him essentially) his cheek like he’s not sure if you just did that. you did. he knows this is not very knightly language but holy shit.

no one’s sure why but the grandmaster seems to be in extra good spirits the following week.

FLINS

you swear to the archons flins was put on teyvat specifically to frustrate you.

him and his stupid flirty comments, stupidly handsome face you roll your eyes at, his ‘gentlemanly’ demeanor and his incredibly long eyelashes you’re honestly kinda jealous of. they’re all exceptionally frustrating.

if you hear “m’lady” or “allow me” (typically as he redirects you from a gathering of wild hunt and insists upon protecting you) in that smooth, droning voice again you’ll send his pasty ass back to snezhnaya yourself.

and the insistence upon taking your hand as he leads you back to the nearest area cleared of the wild hunt before returning to his post is absurd.

oh and then there’s the rather suggestive and frankly embarrassing comments.

arguing about how you are able to defend yourself and aren’t his damsel in distress to project his savior complex on— “solving this dilemma will not be hard. i believe i can satisfy your nerves in many, many ways m’lady.”

disgusted by the smell of fire-water on his breath as you both end up at the flagship coincidentally— “my apologies, miss. i did not think i was close enough to you for you to catch a whiff of my breath,” he laughs in a low drawl that upsets you further. “and to think i was mulling over getting closer.” i mean what the hell does that mean ???

him jumping in and saving you from those weird abyssal eyes—“as expected, i’m sure you’re a commodity to all eyes.”

and every single time he chuckles as you fluster and snap your head away, still staring at you with those bright yellow eyes that occasionally drift lower as you look away. that stupid chuckle that makes you feel halfway to hell. and the immediate follow up of “i assure you i do not intend to mock you.” yeah, right.

yeah, the ‘gentleman act’? you’re not buying it. you find the act unbearable, especially when he’s constantly following you around.

patrolling? flins somehow find himself there, claiming he’ll help since it’s his ‘downtime’. isn’t he supposed to be working constantly?

“it’s quite disheartening to see your distain for me. i presumed i’d grow on you but you still drive me away.”

“well i’d like you much better if you stopped following me around everywhere like a lost puppy.”

“i admit i have an affinity for you, i think anybody can assume that much.”

“well your mocking laughter and judgmental stares don’t convey that, sir flins.”

“i can assure you the looks are not judgemental, it’s placed in admiration, m’lady.” he pauses. “and you may call me kyryll, i insist.”

you stutter, flustered from him again. “shut up! go patrol on that side if you’d like to be in my good graces.”

“as you wish, m’lady.”

“stop calling me that!”

you’re still under the assumption he does this purely to annoy you, maybe one day you’ll realize he just wants that cookie so effing bad.

WANDERER

he does NOT care what you think about him… okay maybe he does… just a little bit tho. and he will NEVER admit it.

you’re a fellow student at the akademiya who is honestly fed up with his terribly annoying ego. he acts as if he’s entitled to something—as if he was like an important figure in an important organization at one point… like??

his fuckass hat and his even worse ego drive you especially mad when you’re assigned to peer review each other and he’s so pissy the whole time.

unbeknownst to you he’s not that big of a dick, close to half of it is a little tsundere persona to make you think he’s just playing hard to get. that way, he won’t have to do all the cringy “asking each other out” and, what he calls “ushy mushy romantic” things. ew.

so instead he’s spewing things like, “how in teyvat did you even get through the entrance exam if this is how your work looks?”

“you might aswell start over.”

he knows your work is good, probably better than his, but he’s trying to play hard to get—don’t you get it? unfortunately you don’t and you are sick of it.

“you know, wanderer, maybe if you got rid of that sorry excuse for a haircut you could get women on your dick and stop taking out all your frustrations on my work.” and then you storm out… babe not acquired :/ and wait—is his haircut really that bad? aunty nahida said he looked handsome… :(((

maybe that’s when he realizes he’s being a little too harsh and that his little tsundere act to try and get you to be into him won’t work.

he physically cannot ask anyone else for relationship advice out of embarrassment though so he will suffer in silence (he’s dramatic it’s really not that bad) for a while.

right up until the archons themselves bless him and give you two a group project together (along with other people but they don’t really matter to him). unfortunately, after your last interactions you want utterly nothing to do with him. his extremely blunt and non constructive criticism from before has in fact bit him in the ass.

maybe he needs to swallow his pride and ask for advice—not maybe, he does. but archons this really sucks. so he sends an anonymous letter to yae publishing house, apparently his mom’s girlfriend is pretty good in this whole romance thing so maybe she’ll help.

he gets his advice… it just turns out this influenced yae miko to develop a new short romance gl novel based on this experience. sure, nobody knows the new best seller is based on his (non-existent) romance scene and now turned lesbian but he can’t help but be embarrassed every time he sees it sitting shelved in a stall.

he takes the advice, leaves a corny letter by your apartment door step (in which he bolted away from incase anybody saw him) and said an…APOLOGY. very rare from him so you better not take this for granted. he felt so goddamn embarrassed the next time he saw you on campus—so embarrassed he was actually begging the archons that someone kills him when you greeted him.

you will unfortunately have to be the one to ask him out though—he just gets so nervy!! he ignored that part of the advice from the letter—and the part suggesting he grip your thigh to ‘assert dominance’ ??? what type of things are her and his mom into ?yuck! but he will be so corny the whole time you’re out on your first date. guy is tryna act like a nonchalant cool guy the whole time it’s like actually embarrassing. but it’s even more embarrassing when he gets flustered or asked something he didn’t rehearse in the mirror beforehand.

“so, wanderer, what do you like to do?”

“i don’t like a lot of things.”

“am i one of them?”

“uh..um—y-yeah, sure.” (picture this with a voice crack halfway through i’m dying)

somehow he does manage to bag you—probably only because of his face because archons does this man not know how to smooth talk.

he’d like to thank himself, kinda yae miko and a first date tips book he discretely took and returned to/from the akademiya library.

LOHEN

this vice captain has it BAD for you, his subordinate, and frankly it’s bad for you because of how much he follows you around like an annoying bug. as in an annoying fly that won’t go away and continues to buzz around in your face.

make a suggestion that he really has no business listening to as your superior? you’re immediately getting hit back with a, “yes! what an amazing idea!” running a secret mondstadt holiday gift exchange? he will purposefully pick your name and go way above the suggested mora pricing. on that note i think he’d be so upset if you got another person—worse enough another man that’s TALLER </3. and yes on every single matter he will default to your opinion !

i’d assume everybody else is probably terribly annoyed with his very clear favoritism…including you. he thinks he’s being so romantic and so sweet, meanwhile you’re like “huh?” every time he follows you around like a golden retriever, or more accurately a weird, scruffy little stray husky that you fed crumbs once and keeps coming back to your door step.

makes it so clear he wants you around. he is so damn insistent you’re free to come to his office with any questions whenever—code for: “please please please come to my office oh barbatos if you love me she’ll come to my office and she’ll profess her love to me”

unfortunately for him when you actually do go to his office, it’s to tell him to not be so clear with his favoritism as your colleagues and comrades have started to hate you. aw man :(((

he infact does not stop though because he #wantsthatcookie. and like c’mon can you just do that professing love thing already—does barbatos really not love him :/ he’s already defeated and brought back a ruin guard’s part for you, claiming it was “out of appreciation for his hardest working subordinate”, isn’t that romantic enough ? you stared at him and asked why he thought you would like that. hmm maybe he should try more conventional gifts.

eventually somebody has to sit him down and tell him that showing his very obvious obsession with you in all the ways he does will not get him the girl. okay fine whatever he’ll try “asking you on a date” eyeroll. and “not following you around begging for your attention” ughh. fine.

believe his surprise when you actually like it better when he’s normal about you. he even heard through the grapevine you said he’s looked “better” lately. now you blush and happily accept when he offers to take you out for drinks. was it really that simple from the start? (yes it really was)

that whole night he’s just talking your ear off but it’s honestly kind of… endearing? it’s like if that stray little husky got his coat washed and groomed.

the night ends with a kiss on his cheek and oh my archons he’s over the moon. guys fighting demons to not act all obsessed again—keyword act. this man would let you feed him to wolves of wolvendom and like it.

but he does use his weirdo rizz on you and it does work. not even satirically, surprise to everybody, he does end up with the girl—so fuck you to barbatos and everyone else that doubted him. you are in for a RIDE once you’re together. do not expect to be separated from him at all. and now he actually has an excuse to be completely off his rocker when another person talks to you. his nightmares probably consist of you going on an expedition with another man honestly.