#ftm stealth

Well, I guess I am officially no longer stealth. On the Trans Day of Visibility I chose to disclose to those who are in my life and I don’t know via social media that I am a transsexual man. This was not an easy decision but I’m glad that I did it. 

I first started to live stealth in most aspects of my life when I graduated high school. After transitioning in high school and having to endure a lot of bullying, harassment, invasive questions, and being seen as the token trans guy I was done. I wanted to see how it felt to live as just me without all the assumptions and pre-conceived notions of who I was based on this one aspect. I was tired of feeling as though I had to justify or defend my gender identity. There was also, at times, a safety aspect. 

Since then I lived most of my life stealth and for most of this time that was what I preferred. However, over time things started to change. I started to no longer want to be stealth. I found myself wanting to tell people and in some situations I did. I tested the waters by telling people here and there. It felt good. In the past six or so months, during this program, I told some of my classmates and eventually I realized that I just wanted to disclose. 

The decision to disclose was the result of several factors including, but not limited to, my future career plans. It felt right to do it and it felt right to do it now. 

Trans people are under no obligation to disclose their trans status. Living stealth was not any more or less genuine or valid. Not everyone gets to choose to be stealth or not and I recognize I was lucky that I had the option and also the option to disclose. 

I was nervous to disclose and in such a public way however I was met with a lot of support and kind words. I was unsure how some of the friends I had made over the past few years would take it but there was nobody said anything negative and many “liked” it, commented and a few even took the time to send me a private message. When I first started to transition my experience was a lot different and I was nervous that I would experience similar reactions or problems but that has not been the case.