#fic comments

I just knocked out 8.5k words in one single day for a chapter update because of one reader leaving one of the most absurdly endearing comments I’ve ever gotten. That is unheard of levels of productivity for me.

SOB!

Someone left a comment in Mandarin on my old Crocodad fic!

Obviously, the MLT is wonky, but I appreciate the sentiment behind the words. Thank you! Let me sob some more….

I'm super confused about the one comment because there are no condoms mentioned in that story, but sure.

I'm crawling out of my grad school hole to remind you all that no one owes you a tag. It is a free story and it's your responsibility to curate your internet experience. When you click the consent box on AO3 you've consented to whatever you find.

Also, please don't call the AIDS crisis bullshit. It really was a horrifying time in the world. It still is, frankly. I will also inform the gay men I know that they aren't gay. They should probably tell their husbands.

Because me, personally, I’m usually always actively trying to work my way through writing the next chapter of all my current ongoing fics. But I cannot control the work my professors assign, or the time my chronic pain chooses to flare up nor the severity of it, and nor can I control any other aspect of my life that pops up and slows down or sometimes even fully pauses my usual writing process.

And to see someone who presumably enjoys my fic(s) enough to ask for an update, only ask for an update feels… kinda bad. I don’t know exactly what it is about it, but it’s just like… because they aren’t mentioning anything they liked about the fic, or even that they liked it, in their comment it sorta feels like they don’t truly appreciate the work I’ve put in and only want the end result of the next update?

I woke up to a beautiful message this morning on one of my oldest fics. 😭

Those few words mean so much. Thank you, lovely reader. 💜

I'm grumpy about that.

I guess I like attention well enough. Who doesn't? A heart emoji at least pings that a real human person is trying to assure me of something, presumably that they liked my fic. Kudos are nice! They reassure me that all those hits aren't just bots crawling the site. That's nice.

But it doesn't really get at the reason I write fanfiction.

I write because I'm trying to have a conversation with you. If I just wanted to publish a story, I could do that in a lit mag. Hell, I could pursue traditional publishing. But I'm writing fanfiction. In a fandom. Where you are. Because I want to hang out with you!

I want to actually hear what you think about my characterization of our shared blorbo. I would genuinely love your opinion on the moment I picked to deviate from canon. I want to know whether you, too, think these two characters would have made an interesting couple. Do you think my jokes are funny? Do you think I'm making our special little guy suffer enough?

I'm not out here craving validation. I don't even look at my statistics page very often. I just want to talk to you!! So if you leave a comment that actually expresses your opinion or emotion, I'm over the moon. Because now I can respond. Now we can have a conversation! I hope we end up having to take it to Tumblr or Discord so we can talk more! I hope you and another commenter start talking to each other right there in my fic's comment section, and I hope you two also wind up having to move it elsewhere. I hope we wind up all participating in the same fandom event because we can't get enough of talking about this. I hope I get to know you well enough to write you a drabble for your birthday. I hope my idea gave you an idea and that you also write a fic.

I do see and appreciate everyone who leaves a heart emoji or an "I loved this." I want to be clear about that. You guys are wonderful and it cheers me up enormously to know that someone is out there, enjoying what I made for us. And I know not everyone wants to get involved to the degree I'm talking about.

But I also want to be clear that you can. Taht I want you to. It's not a social faux-pas. It's fandom. Fandom only exists in the spaces we make to share with each other.

You’re not.

I read every comment with a smile. I re read every comment when I need motivation to write. I answer every single comment not out of obligation but out of a heartfelt feeling of joy that a person not only read my writing, but liked it enough to tell me about it!?

To my regular commenters: I know you on sight, I remember what it is you talked about in the last chapter, I am keeping track of the things you like and am actually posting the next chapter thinking oh so-and-so it going to love this bit, can’t wait to see what they say!