#fft0

That period where I really liked to add game UI in my art (specifically the health bars haha)

┆Entry n. XXIX  19:45...

“Finally, there’s some quiet in the building, something I’ve always longed for after another stressful day here. It’s almost comical in a way, it has always been this way since the first days I set foot in Akademia.  It’s been quite a while since we first met that mornig in class when we introduced ourselves - one of the few moments, in fact, that I can recall... It’s a blurry memory, one I find difficult to grasp clearly, but it’s there, just like an anchor. And despite how guarded I’ve become through the years, she’s always been able to read me like the palm of her glove. Even after the first impression I had of her, I knew that she would be trouble, a menace along with Kazusa and Emina...(note to my future self: avoid those three together). Nevertheless, she remained close, somehow, she cut through the coldness and the walls I’ve built around myself, making me feel less like a weapon and more... like a person.

I see the way she carries herself-not just in the field, yes, but especially how she handles those reckless students. Compassionate, yet firm… We’re not so different, after all. But where I maintain distance with each one of them, she brings warmth. Her approach makes her painfully attached to those cadets and that kind of attachment... it’s dangerous, highly destructive, even. Orience doesn’t allow for that kind of softness...not without cost nowadays...

After all these years, she still waits for me. When I return from the field, bruised or bloody, it’s…a pleasant feeling, comforting, something I can’t exactly put into words. To have someone to come back to. To her, I’m more than just the Ice Reaper. I don’t know how she does it…how she sees something in me beyond what this war has shaped me to be.

I hope time may not ruin this journal.

Her cadets’ futures rest on her shoulders, and she carries that weight as if it’s nothing. But I see how it wears on her. It’s in how her smile falters when the day is done, or in the quiet moments when she thinks no one is watching. And yet, wherever we met, I’m blinded by that determination in her eyes. Y/N keeps moving forward, driven by the belief that “There’s always something beautiful out there, waiting to be found and cared for".

Even in this harsh world, even when we so easily forget the dead, even when we collect their tags and carry them to the school’s graveyard, she still believes in them, in the cadets.

It’s admirable,

 truly.”

── ..

For a brief moment, Kurasame stops, his pen stills as he glances at the small, light blue present sitting on his desk. The colorful ribbon is a strong contrast to the ambiance of his quarters, causing the commander to huff faintly while shaking his head.

 "I don’t deserve this"