#feelingdiscouraged

#discouraged #feelingdiscouraged #discourage #discouragement #mentalhealth https://www.instagram.com/p/B7eM3kkgZRt/?igshid=17w5dr3h1f22d

As my momma would say, "...but I ain't dead yet muthaf@#ka!" Lol #foodforthought #mindbodyspirit #ThoughtfulMemes #FeelingDiscouraged #FeelingOverwhelmed #FeelingDefeated #IGotThis #YouGotThis #WeGotThis #MentalHealth #selfcare #SpiritHavingAHumanExperience https://www.instagram.com/p/B3r7ygfHFuY/?igshid=ihz0qg9sbboo

It's been just over 14 weeks that I've dealt with my back pain. I crossed the 3 month mark a while ago, so I can classify it as chronic. Sometimes the hardest part isn't the physical pain. It's the emotional pain. I want to be able to do things like dance at my friends wedding and go for a run. To not have to worry about the things I can't do. To not have to worry that it may not get better. To not have to scrounge money for chiro appointments so I can work, so I can pay for them. To not remember a time where I didn't have to carry Icy Hot and painkillers with me everywhere. I wish I wasn't always covered in K-Tape. I want to be able to stretch and use my muscles and get fit. I just don't want to be sore anymore. It's tiring, physically and emotionally. Will I ever really be better?

Pregnant or not, I am a fucking emotional wreck today. From crying because Luke went out and scraped the frost off of my car this morning instead of going back to bed, to arguing with an Alzheimer's patient (because that's productive). Ugh. Today has been long. Excited to go get Thai food tonight for my cousin-in-law's (is that even a thing?) birthday. So wish I didn't work tomorrow. I need some quiet. Monday needs to get here.