Bowmetria

It is a powerful and invisible force that occurs in sometimes strange but equally magical ways. Some would argue that fate does not exist and that it is merely God’s plan for us. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in god and am a spiritual person but I think fate is an entirely different occurrence. There are very few moments in my life where I would say fate has been responsible, but meeting her feels like it could be. I can’t even begin to come up with a tangible explanation. All I know is that this somehow feels right. Sometimes we don’t need an explanation in life. Sometimes it’s more important to have an open mind and live with intent. I don’t know what lies in store but I do know I need to know more. What’s her favourite colour? What’s her biggest fear? What are her passions in life? I try to bring myself back to the work laid out in front of me but my mind is working at 100 miles per minute and I can’t help my thoughts drifting back to her. The stupidest part? I’ve barely even said a word to her. I don’t even know if she’s seeing anybody. My brows furrow together in a frown. Of course she’s seeing somebody. Look at her, I think to myself. I don’t stand a chance. I can’t believe how worked up I am feeling over this. Here I am thinking of all the future possibilities and I don’t even know her, never mind the huge question of if I’m even ready for another relationship. Is Isabelle ready for another mother figure in her life? My eyes dart across the room and with all my will power I can’t help but stare. She is simply exquisite. I think about going up and talking to her but embarrassment washes over me as I remember my last dismal attempt. I don’t know what’s happening to me; I usually have no issues talking or flirting with woman. Back in my prime before I settled down with Gabby, let me tell you; I was smooth. Every time I look at her or even try to talk to her, I am speechless. Me, speechless. I didn’t even know I could be this awkward and nervous. Any chance I have with any sort of friendship or future relationship, I know I’ve blown it. My heart rate quickens and I feel my heart beat in my throat as I see she’s coming over. “Wilmer?” she says in a soft tone. “Ah, ah, yeah?” I ask, once again jumbling up my words. “Do you think we could organise a sit down? To go over some questions?” I raise an eyebrow and try to take a few deep breaths before answering. What is this woman doing to me? “I’d be happy to help! When were you thinking?” I reply, hoping not to come across as too eager. “How about over lunch tomorrow? Same café as this morning except this time, no coffee” I laugh. She’s got a good sense of humour, I think. “That sounds great. It’s a date!” I notice her cheeks flush a deep crimson colour and I yet again find myself wondering if she could feel the same way. She giggles while nodding her head and swiftly rushes away just as quickly as she came over. Even though she’s just left I find myself craving to be in her company again. I look at the clock. 1.32pm. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*                                                                                                                                                                  

I find myself jump out of bed as soon as my alarm sounds. I can’t help but feel like a little boy on Christmas. It’s just lunch, I remind myself. I hear my phone vibrate on the bed side table as it lights up with Marilyn’s photo. I excitedly press the green button and there she is; my angel. “There’s my beautiful girl!” I beam into the phone. “DADDY!!” she enthusiastically chimes down the line, her little face lighting up with excitement. “How are you angel?” I ask, wishing I could have her in my arms. Being away has been so hard. I miss her so much. “Goooood”, she replies; emphasising her o’s. She rattles off a long list of fun activities she has been doing over the past few days. “Sounds like you’re having so much fun angel, I miss you though ok?” A little pout forms with her lips. “I miss you too Daddy”, she says in a softer tone. “Daddy’s got to get to work, but you be good for your Aunty and I’ll talk to you later ok? I love you to the moon and back angel”. I blow a kiss to the screen which Issy pretends to catch while waving frantically at the screen. I press the red button to end the call and start getting ready for my day. After showering with a towel securely around my waist, I glance up and down my wardrobe trying to find a good outfit. I try on a few shirts before settling on a blue one with faint pin stripes. I choose a matching tie which I tie around my neck with precision. My toothbrush swishes over my teeth for a few minutes before I grab my comb and pull it through my black hair. I slowly work my way around the hotel room collecting up the items I need for the day. I glance back at a photo of Isabella and Gabby on my bedside table. She’d want me to be happy, I think with a smile.

I hail a taxi and climb in with my things. I find my heart rate quickening again at the thought of seeing her. I dazily watch the buildings pass by as I sit with my chin rested on my upright hand. My phone buzzes in my hand along with a notification of ‘1 new message’ that flashes across my screen. I open up the message from Marilyn to see a few photos of Isabella. One is of her smiling her signature grin, another of her pulling a funny face and the third a selfie of her and Marilyn. Although it’s only been a few days I can’t help but think she has grown since I last saw her. I all of a sudden start to doubt my decision. I’m missing out on so much, I think. I remind myself that although it means leaving her for a while, I am doing it for her. “She needs you”, I whisper under my breath, lightly grazing my thumb over her smiling face. I look up and recognise her hair softly bouncing up and down her back, matching the motion of her strides. It’s her, I internally scream to myself with excitement boiling up inside of me. She is riding an old cream vintage bike with a brown straw basket at the front. Her head is secured with a matching helmet as her loose tousled hair is left to hang underneath. She is wearing black ¾ pants with a loose cream singlet and a light denim jacket. A navy bag hangs on her back, bouncing along with her hair after every push with her foot. She almost looks angelic, as if a ray of light is ever so softly surrounding her. My attention is all of a sudden diverted to a black sedan abruptly rounding a corner from our left. In that moment it’s as if everything happens in slow motion. I feel myself being thrown forward as the sedan makes contact with the front of the taxi, causing it to spin onto the footpath. I feel myself instinctively reach out as if my arms could save her but there is nothing I can do. I feel the impact surge through my body as the front of the taxi crashes into her back wheel, causing the domino effect of her body to meet with the concrete. The taxi continues to travel at what feels like micro speed. My eyes search for her but all I can see is the back wheel of her bike bent up in an unrecognisable shape. I need to help her.

*CRASH*

My body crashes forward as the taxi collides into a lamp post. My ears start ringing. I reach forward and try to get the door open to get to her. I don’t feel anything. Why don’t I feel anything? I should be in pain right? I try to call out her name. I try to scream. Nothing.

Darkness engulfs me.