#fandroki

Fandral and Thor reminded him daily that he was gorgeous, his weight gain beautiful and a symbol of fertility. Loki knew many people would kill to gain weight and have a swollen belly, to look the way he looked and be beautiful in the eye of Asgard, but it just stood in his eye as a symbol of servitude to his husband. He was to give his husband children. That was his new job and his new life, and that's what his body said about him. Loki groaned and dragged himself out of bed, lifting his heavy body off of the mattress. He sat on the edge of the bed, staring at his belly. It wasn't huge, but it was definitely bigger than he would like. It was extremely noticeable that he was pregnant when he was naked like this. He stopped bothering with clothes when he was home. Fandral didn't mind, he loved seeing him naked, and Loki didn't want to bother anymore.

Fandral had stayed with Thor and Loki for a while, but on the insistence of both of them, Loki had moved into Fandral's home six months into his pregnancy. Loki spent most of these past four years doing nothing at all. He had nothing to do, after all. He felt too bored with anything to want to do it and too tired to be able to do anything even on the days in which he wanted to do something. Fandral said it was just the baby taking up more energy, and told him to eat more.

He read occasionally, when he felt like it, but most days he just felt like lying in bed and feeling like a piece of shit for lying in bed all day. The morning sickness was getting better, thankfully. Eir's concoction was helping, and he was even able to eat breakfast again some days without immediately throwing it back up. Even reading, something he loved, felt so demanding he could hardly bring himself to do it most days.

Loki stared at the bathroom door. He should shower. He should've showered yesterday. He should've showered the day before. He kept telling himself, "tomorrow," but maybe that just meant never. He sighed and paused, giving himself a minute to drag himself to the bathroom. Even something as simple as showering felt like carrying the weight of the world on his back. He was so exhausted it felt like he was dying. He pulled himself off the bed, feeling the extra baby weight really start to pull him down now. If he was getting this big four years in, he couldn't imagine how big he'd be when he was 10 years into the pregnancy and ready to burst.

He walked to the bathroom and turned the shower on before sitting on the toilet, waiting for the water to heat up. He groaned as his breasts began to ache. They ached often now, and Loki grabbed them and massaged them, trying to alleviate some pain. When the water was heated, he jumped in and rested his head against the wall. When he opened his eyes again, he saw something quite scary. His stomach was turning blue.

He yelped and jumped out of the shower. Just then, Fandral came through the door. "Loki, my love?" He called out for him.

Loki turned the shower off and walked towards Fandral. "Something's wrong!"

Fandral glanced down at his belly. "It's just a bit blue. Your glamour is slipping, it's okay. Your magic is being taken up by growing our baby, it's not a big deal."

"No, no. We must go to the healers. My glamour cannot be slipping." Loki went to their bedroom and began digging through a pile of clothes.

"You know our baby will be blue, right?"

Loki grumbled. "No. Don't say that. Don't. I'll put a glamour on them."

Fandral huffed. "No, you're not. You're not putting a glamour on our baby. There's nothing wrong with you or our baby, now put away those clothes, because we're not going to the healers."

Loki threw a shirt at him. "Do you really want a Jotun baby? A Jotun wife? No. Nobody wants that. Shut up," he hissed and held the edge of the bed to hoist himself back up to his feet.

"I do! I want you, and I want this baby, and you're both Jotun, so that is exactly what I want. Please, Loki, get in bed. I'll bring you some ice cream and a book to read. That sounds nice, right?"

Loki was craving ice cream, but didn't want to gain anymore weight. It was getting harder to move around and situate himself with the weight already, and he wasn't even halfway through yet. "No, I don't want ice cream."

"Are you sure? You love it, you begged me to buy it last night when it was almost 3 in the morning. I had to pull quite a bit of strings to get it. I called the baker up and told him you were craving it, he was quite annoyed and I had to pay extra."

"I'm too big. I feel like a cow, I can barely move around comfortably now. And I don't need more ice cream. I feel like I'm seven years pregnant, not four!"

Fandral helped Loki into bed and kissed him. "Loki, you're carrying a baby. You're going to gain weight. It's nothing to be ashamed of or try to stop. If you need help moving around, I'll stay home more often, stop going to so many trainings so I can help you."

"I'm too big. And I don't want to be blue. And I didn't even want this baby in the first place."

Fandral sighs and nods. "I know, I know. But you're already pregnant, and I want you to love yourself. I've been meaning to talk to you about this, but I don't want you to wear the glamour once the baby is born. I want them to know that they don't have to hide their skin."

Loki bristled at this and crossed his arms. "No. I'm not doing that. You've already ruined my body enough, I'm not going to make myself even more of a pariah."

"You're not a pariah. I just want our child to know that they're not alone in being a Jotun and that nothing's wrong with them. And I want you to know that too. Your true skin is beautiful, and you know I won't let anyone disrespect you. Nothing is wrong with you, and you should've never had to hide your skin."

Loki glared at him from the side of his eye. "I'm hideous in that skin. I want to go to the healers and get a new glamour."

"Eir won't put a glamour on you while you're pregnant, you know she objected to any use of your magic last time we visited her."

Loki felt trapped again, a very frequent feeling nowadays. "Fine. Just do whatever you want to me."

"No, Loki, that's not what I want. I don't want to control your every move, I just want the best for you and our baby. I don't like you using your magic and I don't like magic being used on you, it worries me. And I want you to have a good relationship with your body."

"I told you to just do whatever you want, I'm tired of arguing. You're going to do whatever you want with me anyways, so go ahead. If you want to take away my glamour, my freedom, my body, go ahead."

"I just want the best for you, and I have to do these things so I can help you because you're hellbent on hurting yourself."

"Can you go get the ice cream?" Loki sighs and lies back in bed. Might as well just eat what he wants. He's going to be gaining weight anyways, there's no way to stop it. And the craving was getting worse.

"Of course." Fandral kisses his head and leaves the room.

Loki kicks off the blankets, feeling too hot. He looks back down at his stomach and stares at the blue spot on his stomach. It looks like it's getting bigger. His magic is getting sucked away by this parasite growing inside him. The blue spot seemed to grow as he stared at it, and he threw a shirt on to cover it. It was a new shirt Fandral had bought him, a maternity shirt. It was his style, just bigger and stretchier. It was a dark green sweater with a design of a snake on the front of it in black.

Fandral came back with a bowl of ice cream and an ice pack. "It's good for the baby to keep your stomach cold."

Loki took them both. "Thanks."

Fandral sat down next to him and placed the ice pack on his stomach under his sweater. "So you like the sweater?"

"Yeah." He refused to even look at Fandral.

"It looks good on you." He smiled at him.

Loki just ate his ice cream, feeling like he was the weakest person in all of existence. He let this happen to himself. He could've ran away, got an underground abortion, left Midgard entirely. He didn't. He let this happen to him. This is all his fault.

"Thor's been talking about a baby shower."

Loki groaned. "Not that again. Tell him I'm not interested for the millionth time."

"He really insists. I think it'd be nice. We could celebrate our baby's life formally and invite our friends to come and celebrate. I know you love a party. Plus, we could get all sorts of cute gifts for the baby."

"Is this just another thing where you ask if I want to do it but it's not really an option? Like everything else? It seems you just want to give me the illusion of choice to soothe your own guilt for forcing me to do all these things I don't want."

Fandral's face blushed and his voice turned serious. "Loki, I just wanted to celebrate our baby's life with you. But if you don't want to do it, fine. We don't have to celebrate the biggest moment of our lives and the newest member of our family."

Loki felt guilty, but he shoved that feeling down. He didn't want to celebrate this baby's life, let alone be forced to endure a whole day's celebration where he'd have to pretend that he's so excited about this baby. Plus he didn't want to deal with everyone fawning over his unborn child he never wanted.

"I just don't want to do it."

"But why?"

"I don't want to have to pretend to be excited about this baby for everyone there for a whole day. I don't think I could do that."

Fandral frowned deeper. "You shouldn't have to pretend, this is your baby. You should be excited."

"But I'm not. I never wanted this. You forced it onto me."

"I don't want to have this argument again, my love. I know what's best for you-"

Loki cut him off. "Do you? Do you really? Then why am I fucking miserable?"

Fandral blushed. "I thought it was getting easier. You've been crying a lot less."

"I just don't have anything left in me to cry. I don't want this baby, I never did. I didn't want to be with you." He started crying again, and Fandral wiped his tears.

"I know, Loki. But we're together now, and this baby is on its way, and they love you. You're their mama, so you need to be excited and you need to love and care for them." He kisses his head. "Please, I just need you to try to be excited and feel some love for our baby."

Loki takes another bite of ice cream, eating his feelings away. "I can't...it's ruining my life. I'm going to be nothing but a wife and mother."

"Is there something wrong with that? And you won't be just a wife and mother, you'll still be you."

"Everything I was will be pushed to the sidelines. I'll be reduced to just 'mama' and 'my love' until I can get away, and even then, I still can't even leave the house without you by my side because everyone gets upset and thinks there's something wrong with our marriage. I won't be anything but a wife and mother."

"I promise, I won't let that happen. You'll still be you. You'll just also be a wife and mother. You can be 'mama', 'my love', and 'Loki'. I promise." Fandral leaned over and hugged Loki, kissing his face. "Let's also get you in the bath once you're done with your ice cream, okay? That'll make you feel better. I'll wash your hair and body, and make you feel clean. I really should've done that earlier this week."

Loki nods. He didn't believe Fandral. He didn't think he would make it out of this without his entire personhood being replaced by just his role in the family. But dear Lord, he needed a bath. Not just because he was dirty, but because he needed to be something other than a fat blob of flesh rotting in the bed.

Fandral peppered him in kisses, washed his hair tenderly and his body gently, careful around his stomach, reverent of the life growing within. "I love you."

Loki actually felt like he could love Fandral in moments like these. Moments where everything was soft and quiet and gentle and Loki was a person and Fandral was his lover, pampering him. He felt like he could love him sometimes, when the weight of everything he had done to him was lifted and they could just be two people enjoying each other's company. And then Loki remembered the horror of a life he was trapped in, and how Fandral was his captor. How he had put a baby in him and demanded of him to be his wife and give him as many children as he pleased. Loki always remembered, especially when Fandral wouldn't shut up about the baby or their future or calling him 'my love'. He hated remembering his life.

---

Fandral had taken a week off of work as a commander of the Einherjar and stayed home with Loki, rubbing his feet, helping him take his morning sickness medication, giving him all the food he could ever want, making sure he drank enough water and bathed properly. Loki was sure Fandral would be a wonderful father, simply because of what a doting husband he was. Loki did grow to love Fandral's attentions and affections over the past four years. He even let him have sex with him now (it's not like he could get pregnant again). He was also too horny to continue to deny himself over principle.

Loki's glamour had fallen two days into the week. He awoke with a yelp to cold sheets, and his skin a frightening blue. Fandral had stayed with him and held him through his sobs.

"It's okay, my love. It's okay, you're so beautiful. You're so beautiful, don't cry. I love you." He covered him with kisses, held him close like he was precious, and braided his hair.

Loki eventually calmed down enough to talk about it. "I'm a monster."

"No, you're not. Don't say that. You are the same old Loki you've always been. You're gorgeous, funny, intelligent, cunning, mischievous, and just so perfect in every way. Please, don't say you're a monster. You're not. Your skin color or eye color or heritage marks change nothing. In fact, you're more beautiful this way, when you don't cover up who you are, truly."

Loki felt like he was developing Stockholm syndrome. Fandral was taking advantage of how vulnerable he was and making him feel like the most perfect, special person in all the nine realms, just so he'd do whatever he wanted. And it was working. Loki cried in his arms and crawled into his lap. He had forbidden himself from returning Fandral's affections so many times, he thought he deserved this. He deserved comfort, even if it had to come from his captor. He had nobody else, but Thor.

Loki kissed him as Fandral whispered soft praises in his ear. Fandral pulled away with wide eyes. He could count on one hand the amount of times Loki had willingly kissed him in the past four years. "Loki...oh, my love. My love, you are beyond amazing. I'm in awe of you every day."

Loki cried harder and went limp in his arms. "Fandral...please tell me you're telling the truth. Please tell me you're not lying. Tell me I'm really not a monster."

"My love, I'm telling nothing but the truth. If I were to die, I'd beg the Norns to put you in front of my face so you'd be the last thing I'd see before my passing. You are the furthest thing from a monster. You are a God. You're a beautiful being, and I am blessed to be your husband. I am so blessed. Oh, Loki, please, tell me you believe me."

Loki kissed him again, and that was answer enough.

After that night, Loki's mood improved. He still struggled greatly with his body, but at least he had someone there to comfort him. At least he wasn't alone. He had Fandral.

Thor came to visit one day, too. Of course, he brought up the baby shower. "I think it'd be good for you. You can get in a better headspace about the baby. I think once you see the good parts of motherhood, you'll be more open to it. This is one of the good parts! You get to have all the attention on you for a party and get gifts, cute little baby shoes and toys, and you can finally get out of the house. You've been spending too much time indoors, it's not good for you."

Thor was right about him spending too much time indoors. He spent so much time in bed, Fandral had to drag him out of it and make him spend some time outdoors, going on little walks. He did have to dress modestly and wear a veil, customary of married women in Asgard (though he was a man, under Asgardian law he was considered a woman in this marriage). On these walks, people would often stare and hide their children from Loki, before noticing who he was and bowing respectfully, but then rushing out of the sight of him. He knew he would be treated differently once his Jotun form came to show, but it still hurt. It hurt even worse to know his child would be treated like this too, and there was nothing he could do to protect them.

"I've been taking walks with Fandral to the market."

"But you need real interaction with other people. And I think this could be fun."

"I think you just want a party to gush about your nephew."

"Oh, that's absolutely part of it. I've been bragging to anybody who will hear that I will be getting a little nephew in the next few years."

"I know, all of your friends come to greet me when I'm out and ask about the baby, and if I'm eating well."

"Are you?"

"I'm eating fine."

Thor looked over Loki's head. "Is he?"

"He is, I've made sure of it! And all his cravings are seen to as well."

Loki bristled slightly at how Thor immediately went to ask Fandral, not trusting his answer, but moved past it. He had learned to move past such things in the past four years. "This baby is too fat, I think. They're growing so big inside me, I feel like I'm seven years along now!"

"Oh, Loki, you exaggerate. You look just like a perfectly healthy pregnant person who's four years into their pregnancy."

Loki shrugged. "Back to the baby shower, no."

Thor groaned. "Loki, please!" He whined. "I want to throw a party for my little niece. And I want you to get as excited for this as me and your husband are! Even Valkyrie smiled a little bit when I was telling her about the little heartbeat in the ultrasound."

Loki sighed. "I don't know why you're so insistent on this. I don't want a baby shower. I'm the mother, don't I get a say?"

"Of course, I'm just excited. I never thought I'd have a niece or nephew, so I wanted to celebrate the occasion, but you're the mama, so if you don't want a party, that's fine. I just think it'd be a lot of fun, and it'd help you get excited about your baby."

Loki nodded. Maybe he did need to start at least trying to be happy about this. Or learning how to. The baby wasn't going away, it was growing and it was going to come out of him in a few years, so he might as well try to care for it.

"Maybe."

Thor grinned and hugged him tightly. "I'm going to take that as a yes, and start planning!"

Loki smiled dimly for just a split second. "Alright, then. I guess I'm having a baby shower."

---

Loki awoke one morning with his cock rock hard and his pussy wetter than the ocean, spilling slick into his panties. "Fuck..." He cursed and moved to push Fandral around until he woke up. It was around four in the morning.

"Fandral..." He whined and shook him harder. "Wake up.."

Fandral blinked, bleary eyed. "Yeah? What is it? What time is it?"

"Early. Doesn't matter. Take your pants off."

His eyes went wide. Loki had only ever asked for sex in the past four years about three times. And even then, it had mostly been when he was so exhausted, or hysterical, or having such awful cramps the only thing that could make him feel better was cock. "Absolutely." Fandral took his pants off with record speed and threw them across the room.

"Wait, I want you to eat me out before you fuck me." Loki took off his panties and laid back on the bed. "I'm so horny, oh my god...I think I might die if you don't start soon."

Fandral got down to his pussy and spread the lips, showing his soaking wet folds, winking hole, and pretty little clit. He was practically drooling over it. He wasted no time getting his mouth around Loki's clit, sucking on it and tonguing his wet folds, tasting his sweet, delicious slick on his tongue. He moaned on Loki's clit and Loki thrust his hips up and squealed. Fandral continued to moan on his clit and began to finger his hole open, preparing him to get fucked, when Loki pulled away.

"Fuck me, fuck me...oh my god..." He lifted up to play with his tits and Fandral paused, mesmerized by the sight in front of him before placing a pillow underneath his hips and lining himself up with his sopping wet cunt.

"Loki...oh my god..." He moaned as he pushed into the wet, cool, hole. "Fuck, you're so fucking hot, oh my god..."

Loki was cock drunk already and Fandral just put the tip in. His mouth was hung open and his eyes were tearing up. "Fandral...hmmm...husband..."

Fandral thrust into him, and almost came when Loki called him husband. He loved the title. He loved knowing Loki was his wife, and that this all was real. This dream of a life was real and his. He had the love of his life in his arms, cock deep inside of his wet pussy, as he was four years deep into a pregnancy. Fandral rubbed his hands over the baby bump, almost crying at the thought. He had everything he could ever want, and Loki was finally coming around to being content with this life. He was finally growing to love Fandral and he would grow to love this baby.

"Oh, you're so perfect. Such a perfect wife. I love you, I love you so much."

Loki began to cry as Fandral thrust again, and he stopped. "Loki, what's wrong?"

He wiped his tears. "I just...I like being cared for. Even if you've done me wrong, I still like being cared for like this. I don't know, I think I'm going insane. I feel like I should hate you for forcing me into this, but I don't anymore. Fuck...I don't hate you. I'm really fucking mad some days, but then you hold me and tell me you love me and you fuck me even when I wake you up at four in the morning to do it on your week off. I feel so stupid, I feel like my heart forgives you but my brain doesn't."

Fandral kissed him, cock still buried deep inside. "Loki, it's okay. You don't need to think with your brain anymore, just your heart. I'll take care of everything for you. My love, just let go of all your inhibitions. It'll be okay, you'll be so much happier."

Loki nodded, and strokes his small cock as Fandral fucked his pussy. "I'm so fucking horny right now..."

Fandral smiled and continued fucking him, Loki moaning and squealing with every thrust. "It's okay, I'll take care of it. I'll take care of you sweetie, just let go."

Loki felt apprehension and tensed up. Should he be relinquishing control like this? "Fandral... I-"

And Fandral thrust into him, hitting his g-spot perfectly, making his moan like a whore and his clit twitch. "What were you saying sweetie? Sorry about that." He stopped fucking him and Loki forgot what he was thinking entirely, replaced by anxious thoughts that Fandral might stop fucking him and making him feel good, and then that he might no longer want to care for him and love him.

"Nothing- keep going..."

Fandral kissed him deeply and smiled. "Of course, my love."

Loki spent the rest of the morning getting absolutely ravished, and Fandral came inside him around three times, and Loki came five times. Three from his pussy, two from his cock. By the time they finished, around 7 a.m., it felt like all his bad thoughts had dissipated from his body and all his aching bones had been healed. He fell back asleep with Fandral's cock inside of him and in his warm arms.

When he awoke the next morning, he became ashamed of his lustfulness, of how easily and quickly he folded. "This baby is making you weak. Pathetic. You just give in to any man who shoves his cock in you and tells you you're pretty. Stupid, pathetic-"

And apparently Fandral read his thoughts, because he leaned over and rested his chin on Loki's shoulder. "What's on your mind, my love? I can practically feel you overthinking."

"Nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Well now I must know. Is it about our child? About your pregnancy? Our marriage? Those seem to always be your biggest issues."

Loki sighed. "Perhaps I'm just tired of being weak. I can't even use my magic, which is what I've always used to defend myself, I need help with everything, and that's only going to worsen with my condition, and I fall so easily to your ministrations. I just fell right into your arms when you said those sweet things, and I fear I'll do it again."

"Loki, it is okay to be vulnerable. I will be here to take care of you. You're not weak, you're so strong. You're carrying our child inside of you, growing them with your body. Don't you know how strong you are? And of course you fall right into my arms. I'm your husband, and we've been married for four years. You've fallen into my arms so many times, you just keep leaving them to chase this pipe dream of an idea that you do not love me, and that you could ever leave me. Loki, you know this, right? You're the love of my life, and I will never let you go. You know you love me back. You can't resist me." Fandral kissed his neck and Loki felt hurt creep into his heart at the reminder that this marriage was permanent, but pushed it down.

Perhaps it was finally time to give in, to throw in the towel. Maybe he should give in to his heart and shut off his brain. Maybe he should just lie in his husband's arms and get fucked stupid and be admired all day long. Isn't that what he's always wanted-- to be admired? He could deny Fandral all he wanted, it only made him more miserable.

"Maybe you're right. I should just give in to what my heart is telling me. I should learn, now, to use feelings instead of rationality."

"Good. This will be much easier for both of us. I can take care of all of the rational thinking, I just need you to let go of these horrible thoughts blocking you from happiness, and allow yourself to love me. You know you want to."

Loki nodded, and he felt like the Stockholm syndrome was really setting in now. But he did what he thought was right, or more so, what would be the best solution, and turned off that rational part of his brain. Fandral was willing to love him and be with him and care for him after everything he had done, for all he was, horrible, aching flaws and all.

And maybe it was better this way, for Loki to just be stupid and in love, to allow himself to just be led everywhere, because nothing else was working. Fighting was futile. Arguing went nowhere. Fandral was in full control anyways, why keep up the fight? It was easier to just be pampered and kissed all over and given all the food and books he could ever want.

Fandral and him had a lazy Sunday one day after Loki's resolution to turn his brain off and let heart guide him, and they stayed in. Loki with his book, a Midgardian one by the name of 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'. It was apparently very famous. He liked it well enough, but quickly moved on to another one. It was short, and he was a fast reader. Loki finally felt somewhat at peace, which felt strange and a little disconcerting after being in chaos and depression for so long.

Thor came over later that day, and brought with him a bag full of things for the baby shower. "Loki! You look good today, did you bathe?"

He felt a bit embarrassed that his brother had to ask if he had bathed, but he pushed it down and nodded. He was right though; he had to get help to bathe because it just took so much energy and emotional bandwidth. "Yes, I bathed." Technically, 'we bathed', since Fandral joined him. It was nice. He forgot how much he missed kissing and taking a bath with someone and enjoying it without thinking about how his lover had wronged him.

Life was so much easier when he forgot everything Fandral had done wrong and everything he had lost and all the dreams which will sit unfulfilled and rot in the back of his mind. Everything was just so much easier when he forgot all about what made him miserable, and focused on what made him feel good.

Fandral came over and kissed his cheek and Loki didn't find himself upset or disgusted or anything. He actually quite liked it.

"I'm thinking we have the baby shower on Wednesday. Who should we all invite?"

Fandral piped up first. "Well obviously, Volstagg, Hogun, Heimdall, and Sif!"

"Sif hates me." Loki complained.

Fandral paused, then nodded. "You're right, maybe not Sif then. This is your baby shower, and you're the mother, so you should get a say in who's invited. Who do you want to invite?"

Loki didn't know how to respond. He sat there, thinking of who he even knew that he'd want at the baby shower. He felt an immense wave of sadness at realizing that he had nobody who even bothered to care about him or his baby's existence (beyond a mild fascination, mostly about whether the baby would come out the same color as Loki.) except Fandral and Thor and began to cry. Fandral immediately jumped to hold him tight to his chest and stroke his hair, and Thor asked him what was wrong.

Loki wrapped his arms around Fandral. "I don't have anybody. I don't have any friends. Nobody likes me except you two, and I don't really like anybody but you two either."

Fandral kissed him and stroked his hair. "It's okay, Loki. All you really need is us. Your brother and your husband. If you really feel so sad about your loneliness, we can find you some other mothers to be around. And it may be good for you to get a feminine influence in your life to help you get used to your role."

Loki pulled away and wiped his tears. "Plus," Thor added. "Volstagg, Hogun, Heimdall, all care about you and the baby. You know Heimdall cares deeply for you. He's tried to speak to you several times, but he wanted to speak to you alone, and I didn't want you to speak to another man without your husband present. It's not a good look, even if he is a family friend."

Loki nodded. He had gotten used to loneliness, he'd been lonely his whole life. But now it came with its hard boundaries. He was only supposed to be friends with fellow wives and mothers, and his only male friends allowed were his family members and husband.

"And you've always preferred your books."

Loki smiles. He did prefer books to people. He just wished people would be nicer, so he didn't have to prefer books. "I suppose you're right. It is unseemly for me, a man married as a wife to be seen conversing with men who aren't my husband or brother. I only wish I was less pathetic. I have no friends. I only have my husband and my brother."

Thor went to the fridge and took down an old pamphlet off the door. "What about this? It's that support group for pregnant people and expecting mothers. Would you like to go? You could meet some friends there."

Loki shook his head. "I don't think so. Everyone knows me, and they already have preconceived notions about me. The lunatic Jotun. People treat me differently when you're not looking."

Fandral holds his hand. "People treat you differently?"

"Because I'm a Jotun. I don't really like to go out now."

Fandral huffed. "I swear, I'll hunt down everyone who's said anything to you or done anything to you and make them pay."

Thor agrees, and Loki is flattered by their loyalty, but turns the offer down. "It's no use. I just hope the baby comes out closer to you. More Aesir looking."

Fandral's eyebrows furrow. "I don't want that. I want our baby to look like you, with pretty little ruby eyes and cobalt blue skin, with the same lines as you do on your skin. With dark black hair, that's just a little bit curly."

"They're going to face a lot of hardships if they look like me. I- I don't want my baby to go through that." Loki found himself caring much more for the little life inside him. He still felt guilt and resentment and regret for letting Fandral impregnate him and by giving in so easily, but he couldn't help the little part of him which wanted to protect the little thing.

Fandral hugged him. "I'll keep them safe. If anyone tries anything, I'll make them pay. I swear, I'll make them pay dearly." He reached down and rubbed Loki's growing belly, and Loki started crying again.

Fandral and Thor comforted him, bringing him food, many blankets, and telling him that everything would be okay. Eventually he calmed down, and Thor started getting out the things for the baby shower. He pulled out furs, golden baubles, colorful wooden blocks with runes written on them, and a bag full of green and gold cards and envelopes.

"I got them in your colors. For when the people write blessings for you and your baby at the shrine. I got all sorts of good decorations for the shrine. I also want to put a picture of your ultrasound. I also got a bag full of protective golden runes to place around the shrine."

Thor pulled out the bag and Loki held back the urge to scoff. He could make much better runes than these. The runemaker's lines were jagged and uneven, and their gold work needed serious improvement. "Did you get these runes from Eir?"

Thor nodded. "Yes, I know you dislike her runes, but they are effective when it comes to health. And we need blessings when it comes to health, and prayers this baby will come out healthy and sweet. I have no doubt they will, but still, we always need to pray and bless your womb."

Loki nodded. He knew this party would be full of people blessing his womb and praying over his unborn child, even those he didn't like and who didn't like him. Even if one didn't like the pregnant person, in Asgard, it was two millennia of bad luck to wish I'll upon a pregnant person. And to wish health and happiness onto the mother and child was to bring great luck and joy into the life of the blesser. Loki knew his stomach would be touched an inordinate amount, and prepared himself for it mentally. As well as he could, anyways.

"And I have ordered the supply of great food! We shall eat the finest roasted boar and wonderful stews, with the best spices from all the nine realms. I have ordered fig pies and cinnamon rolls and Vanir sparkling cider to be ordered here. It will also, for obvious reasons, be a dry baby shower. I'm afraid many of our guests will have a problem with that, as is it as rare as diamonds, an Asgardian feast with no wine or mead. Oh, we will have the best food. You will simply be blown away from how wonderful the food is."

Loki nodded and let himself imagine how wonderful the feast would be. Norns...was he hungry. His mouth was watering already. "Damn...I'm so hungry now..." He almost started crying from how sudden and rushed the hunger came on just from Thor describing the food. He just ate two mandarin oranges just a moment ago, yet he was so desperately hungry again.

Fandral hopped up. "I'll get you some food, what do you want?"

Loki shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know why I'm so hungry, I just ate."

"You have a baby eating up all your food."

"But they're so little."

"They need a lot of food, don't feel ashamed one bit. Nobody thinks anything less of you, Loki." Thor assured him and rubbed his back.

Loki nodded, but still hated how chubby he was getting. None of his clothes were fitting him anymore, and he was hungry all the time. This baby was taking up so much space, and making him so heavy it was getting hard to walk.

"Should we go shopping for more maternity clothes? I know there's a very cute shop for pregnant people just a few blocks away. And they also have stuff for the baby, too. That's where I picked up some of these sweaters for you." He rubbed Loki's belly again. Loki stopped caring at this point about Fandral rubbing his belly, it was near constant. He gave up on the ridiculous expectation that his husband ask for consent to touch him. He was his husband, did his body even really belong to him anymore? That was silly. His husband could touch him anywhere he wanted. They were married, he didn't have to ask for consent anymore, Loki was his, including his body.

Loki shrugged. "I don't know if I want more. I think I'm good for now. I'll just steal yours when I run out of clothes to wear."

Fandral grinned. "I'd be happy to let you steal my clothes." He kissed his forehead and gave him a plate with a warm cinnamon roll.

Loki, starving, started eating, while Fandral and Thor planned the more mundane aspects of the baby shower. Loki didn't feel all that horrible, surprisingly. He felt kind of... dull. He had been feeling dull the entire time, but with a sense of anger, fear, and existential dread of the future, but now-- now he felt just dull like a housewife on quaaludes. It wasn't bad; it was nothing. There was a pleasant buzz, as well as an exhaustion that seemed to sink into his bones, an exhaustion that told him that it was alright to lie down and take it.