I have been thinking about making this post for a while and I am still not really sure about it, but I need to get this off my chest.

By now I kinda made peace with the fact that some people in this fandom still cannot see the truth and still clinge to the girlfriend thing or this poly shit or whatever head gymnastics I had to read in the last weeks.

How ANYONE can still think this is a real relationship, after all the pics from the CSAs is absolutely beyond me. But you do you.

BUT, what I actually cannot understand, especially about the girlfriend thing, is that people who still clinge to that don't realize how absolutely toxic and unhealthy such a relationship would be.

And I am actually concerned about all these young women who think that this is normal behaviour in a healthy relationship.

When I see the comments on here or other platforms who absolutely celebrate H and K and think they are the couple of the century and think K ist just an absolute baddie ( if I have to read the strongest soldier comment one more time I am gonna flip)and I see that these are often young women between 18 and 25 it actually makes me sick to my stomach.

Because this is DEFINETLY not normal behaviour in a healthy relationship.

If I imagine for one second that this relationship is actually real, than Hudson would be an absolute jerk( I don't think its real, so please do not attack me).

The way he is always so tense around her, the way he ignores her, the way he simply cannot touch her, his fake smile, no kiss,no hug when he won the award, and most of all: his behaviour with Connor.

He would be a walking red flag, if I believe for one second that he is dating K.

And before people come at me with this, maybe they don't like PDA or thats normal for a longterm relationship stuff- NO,JUST NO.

I am in my 30s and had my fair share of relationships ,good ones and also not so good ones, but never ever behaved one of my boyfriends like this. NEVER.

One of my best friends has been married to her husband for 12 years and there is still so much chemistry and affection between them. Another friend of mine does not really like PDA for many reasons, but she still is affectionate to her boyfriend, even with other people around.

If a relationship is healthy, you can SEE it.

In little gestures, little moments, the body language. But when it comes to H and K there is nothing but tension and awkwardness. So why are they ALWAYS the exception?

I mean if you have to do the wildest head gymnastics or come up with the most insane theories to justify their behaviour, then maybe it is time to change your POV.

Because if you really think that this is a real relationship than you also simply accept that H is an absolute jerk of a boyfriend.

And I personally refuse to think that a man who is so respectful to women, I still think of that one video where he watched the womans drink with hawk eyes, who speaks so highly of women, who literally has a team that is mostly women, would actually treat his girlfriend like this.

So please, all you wonderful ( young) women in this fandom: this is not normal and if you think its normal, please raise your standards. You deserve so much better and a partner who actually cares and respects you 🫂.

And you know who Hudson actually is affectionate with and who he absolutely cares for and shows all the signs of a healthy and stable relationship with? Yes, his ,imo, real partner,Connor.

So if you want to celebrate a relationship and take as an example how a relationship should be,its definetly this one.

This post is inspired by some very emotional conversations with @hollanov26 @this-daydream-is-dangerous-13 @lifelovelaughterlarry @christinaxlr8 @dayleyforlife @evileve007 and @88toujourspur12 about that topic 🫂♥️. Thank you for this.

And this is literally the noise he’s talking about. What the hell?? How is this a real tweet??

I think all of this disgusting behavior should be ignored. I am wildly impressed with hs_news on Twitter who responded to Louis’ tweet thusly:

x

This is how our fandom should be always. There is no competition between the guys. Why should there be between the fans?

He possibly may not agree with every single word of this long post, but for sure he agrees with the general meaning which is: don't twist characters with actors, don't force actors to play roles that fit only their own sexualities, don't be invasive and toxic, understand the meaning of Heated Rivarly because the show has a crucial and potential history changing one, don't twist the actors with their characters and, last but not least, leave François and Connor alone.

I want to talk a bit about the way that certain fans feel the need to constantly slag off one particular member of 1D or compare the boys (yes, they are the boys to me, “the boys” will always mean the five members of 1D!) to each other, and not just in terms of their success levels as solo artists, but also about how badly they were treated during the band days. I had a good rant in the server I’m in a few days ago and thought (once I’d made myself sound (mostly) coherent and less shouty and full of swear words!) I should put it out there in the wider tumblr world.

I’ll be honest, I find it all really fucking weird, like, can you not love on your fave without dragging other people? It’s not the shitolympics, you don’t have to prove that your fave “suffered” more than the others to make your love for them worthwhile. I’d like to say I’m an OT5 directioner, even if Louis has always been the one of the boys I gravitate more towards, but I’m also a Larrie, so some of what I’m going to say here is seen through that lens - I’ll signpost it though, cos most of what I want to say can be seen without a Larrie “hat” on.

Lots of people talk about Harry being “privileged” simply because of his level of success as a solo artist. And yes, he’s been afforded the luxury of being able to indulge in other interests - acting, modelling, Pleasing etc. Sure, he’s not available on social media like so many other artists, but he has the right to not interact personally, especially if he’s made that decision to protect his mental health - if you look carefully, you can still see 17 year old Harry with tears in his eyes talking about how much it hurts to read what people hate about him. He’s also now probably the biggest male pop star in the world and there’s a HUGE amount of pressure and scrutiny that comes with that - literally everyone and his dog is bitching about how long it’s been since he released new music and yet if he’d rushed out an album without being totally happy with it, that would’ve been wrong too. He’s followed by fans almost everywhere he goes - he’s had to get an injunction against at least one “fan” for stalking him. Up until his last concert in 2023, he has worked practically non-stop since he was 16. He gets called a Zionist and a queerbaiter. His public image since the age of sixteen has been that of some sort of commitment-phobic slut. Sure, he’s white, rich and famous but at what price did the fame and money come?

Then there’s those who talk about Niall being “privileged” because he doesn’t attract quite the same level of bullshit that the others have on social media or in the general media. Now Niall has a mostly unproblematic public image, but that doesn’t mean he’s not had to deal with crap. He’s dealt with people threatening to burn his house down and saying his nephew ought to die (like what the ever loving fuck, people, that is NOT okay!) People often talk about him being bland and boring, because what he presents to the public nowadays is mostly work and golf. Niall is doing so well as a solo artist - three albums, collabs and judging on The Voice.

On the other hand people love to indulge in the “poor him” narrative for Louis. I really doubt Louis would appreciate the constant “poor Lou” narrative - he’s recently pointed out he doesn’t want to be defined by what (or who) he’s lost and I really think we should celebrate what he’s done without having to set it opposite what he’s lost. His successes are no more or less phenomenal just because his path there has been less than easy. Leaving aside his personal losses, Louis is a brilliant songwriter and a great singer regardless of the way his self-confidence was rammed into the ground by fans and label alike. He’s a kind and genuine individual, who’s never forgotten where he came from. Family and loyalty clearly mean so much to him and he shows it. His fans are fierce in their defence and support of him - that stems from the person Louis has shown us he is.

Zayn attracts his own unique set of bullshit and so much of that is down to the shitty PR image Hackford Jones for some unknown reason thought was a good idea during the band days (I mean for gods sake, which braindead individual thought the right public image for the only non-white boy in the band was mysterious and moody - can you say dogwhistle to racists and islamophobes any louder?!?). But he’s also a brilliant and prolific solo artist, who’s had a lot of success. He’s carved out a place for himself in the world where he seems happy and settled with his daughter, his chickens and tractor.

I hesitate to include Liam here, because he did attract an unfairly large amount of bullshit and hatred and there’s some indication that this had a huge impact on his mental health and therefore, possibly, why he’s tragically no longer with us. But I did say this isn’t the shitolympics, so I’m going to include him. I think a lot of how we perceive Liam is now coloured by his death but there was still so much good in his life. 1D was absolutely created for Liam, and I mean no disrespect to the other boys when I say this. He was a professional at 16, and while the industry did eventually position Harry has 1D’s frontman, Liam was the leader. He was a lyrical and musical genius with perfect pitch and had an undeniable stage presence. Yes, he had a long and hard road after 1D and he had to fight tooth and nail to release LP1, but the comfort and joy that man gave to people can never be denied.

The thing is, they have ALL dealt with a lot of shit. 1D was an entire rollercoaster of a ride. They were thrust into practically instantaneous global fame with no warning. There was nothing normal about what they went through in the band. Excluding The X Factor and its tour (and January 2011 when they were recording in LA), 1D was together and working for 4 years and 8 months. In that time they released 5 albums, 2 documentaries, 2 concert films, 5 books, went on four tours (not including their brief time opening for Big Time Rush) and participated in what are probably thousands of interviews, tv shows, livestreams and merch adverts. They were scheduled and supervised to within an inch of their lives at what is typically a really rough age for teenage boys and young men. If they hadn’t all come out of the band with some sort of anxiety disorder, I would have been astonished! These men were picked up, chewed up and spat out by an industry they could not even begin to fathom when they were little more than children and they are all struggling to deal with the public images slapped on them by Hackford Jones, Modest! Management and Syco when they were 16, 17, 18. Think about how it might impact you if you were unable to escape the person everyone was told you were at 18?

1D was a monumental success. They are the biggest boyband since The Beatles. Aside from the immutable privileges they have being white and cishet (taking the official pr narratives as gospel), that is their privilege, and without it, none of them would be where they are today. This is what I think Louis was alluding to in his Diary of a CEO podcast interview - 1D isn’t something they can escape, and none of them really want to, because despite all of the bad things that came with it, the good it’s brought them is undeniable. Whether you love all five boys or your fan heart has been captured by only one, you can love on them without shitting on the others. It’s not a competition, the others don’t need to be bad for your fave to be good, nor do you need to minimise the successes of other members to big up the successes of your fave. Each one of them has their own successes and their own shit. That all of them are (were) successful solo artists is practically unheard of for ex-boybanders and we as fans should perhaps focus more on that than spreading hate.

I’m going to talk about a few things with my Larrie hat on now, so if that isn’t your cup of tea, feel free to stop reading now. Thanks for being here this far.

While I don’t think this is a competition, there are a few things I think are different when looking at Louis and Harry compared to the other boys. Certain areas of larriedom are as guilty of these things as antis can be, so I think it’s important we acknowledge them.

The queerbaiting accusations thrown at them, especially at Harry, are complete bullshit. A person cannot queerbait, especially not an actual queer person. When these accusations come from other queer people, that’s particularly hurtful. If you’re queer, imagine that the next time you’re in a queer relationship, someone tells you you’re faking it for social gain. Doesn’t make sense does it? The only difference between you and them is that they’re famous.

And then the things that Harry and Louis can’t do even if they wanted to. Not wanting to be fully open about your relationship as a queer person is entirely valid, especially in the current shitty political and social climate, but they weren’t hiding this to start with. Something changed that. And given what is known about how homophobic and transphobic the music industry is, as larries, I think we can all guess what that was. Imagine being told that even if you wanted to, you couldn’t walk down the street holding your partner’s hand, having to always think twice before stepping out your front door with them. Until recently these men couldn’t even be known to be on the same continent as one another, let alone in the same country and god forbid they might actually be in the same city. Not to mention having to handle the trauma from being told as a teenager that your relationship is wrong, would hurt your career and the careers of your boyfriend and three other boys who you think of as family. Then add on having been told that your natural impulse to reach out and touch said boyfriend or smile at him or even fucking look at him are bad and has to be stopped. None of that exactly screams privilege to me.

But like I said, this isn’t a competition of who has it worse. Sure, these men have privilege; immutable privilege as well as the privileges brought by fame and money. But I think it’s important to temper those shouts of privilege with an acknowledgement of the shit they have dealt with and are still dealing with, in an industry that isn’t exactly kind to anyone except the rich old white men who run it. They may have “chosen” fame, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t entitled to kindness, understanding, a measure of privacy (and an absence of hatred from people who purport to be fans).

Love your fave without dragging someone else down. You don’t need everyone else to be bad for your fave to be great. Their successes are worth something even if they haven’t had to fight to get there.

Never forget that behind the public images, there are real living and breathing human beings with feelings; who at the bottom of it all, with fame and fortune stripped away, are just like you and me.

Like, where was this moral grandstanding when the internet descended into collective hysteria over Haylor, a coupling that lasted roughly the same amount of time it takes to microwave a burrito? Or when Elounope was treated like a royal marriage forged by the gods of coordinated pap walks? Not a murmur. Not even the faint rustling of a hypocrite’s conscience.

But the minute someone so much as breathes the word “Larry,” people start clutching their pearls like Victorian debutantes confronted with ankles.

Apparently, concern for the psychological sanctity of celebrities only activates when two men are involved. Fascinating! Positively textbook! Freud is doing the Macarena in his grave.

And let’s be abundantly clear: Larry is not and hasn’t been “just a ship” since like…2012? This is not your average, garden-variety “they’d be cute together” scenario. This is a multi-layered, intertextual, slow-burn epic spanning over a decade, filled with mirrored lyrics, shared wardrobes, matching tattoos, suspicious silences, and the kind of emotionally-charged eye contact that could power a small European village.

We’re not shipping. We’re conducting a longitudinal queer study with PowerPoint presentations, Excel spreadsheets, and footnotes. Our thesis is due. MLA format. Peer-reviewed by Tumblr.

And the most mind boggling part? There is objectively more compelling, tangible, eyebrow-raising evidence that Harry and Louis are together than there ever was for Louis and Eleanor. Whose vibe resembled two wax figures posing for a Sears catalogue titled “Heterosexuality: We Swear.” Meanwhile, H&L were out here singing at each other like star-crossed lovers in a tragic musical sponsored by Modest management and Syco entertainment.

But sure, we’re the ones who need psychological evaluation.

And the absolute audacity of people dissecting one side-eye in a red carpet photo of a straight couple and calling it proof of eternal love, then turning around and calling Larries “delusional” for noticing literal patterns that have spanned an entire decade… it’s giving hypocritical rococo goblin.

If you genuinely believe shipping real people is wrong, then please kindly evacuate from every straight ship tag with the urgency of a possum in a Whole Foods. But don’t masquerade as the Patron Saint of Privacy while gleefully reposting Haylor edits with “All Too Well (10 min version)” playing in the background.

It’s not about ethics. It’s about comfort. And queer love stories—especially the ones they tried to bury under PR and denial—make people uncomfortable.

So no, we’re not “invading privacy.” We’re just exceptionally observant, chronically online, and possibly a little feral. But also? Right.

(sorry for the rant lol)

“Louis walks on ice while Harry walks on sand.”

This sentence blew me away because it is the perfect analogy for their situations. Both Louis and Harry are impacted by their queerness as artists. They both have to navigate stunting and damage control when the truth gets too close to the surface.

If Harry doesn’t tread lightly, he sinks a bit. His feet may get tired and hard to move, but the foundation he stands on isn’t at risk of disappearing. Louis is a bit different. If he steps the wrong way, the floor underneath him could completely collapse and shatter, leaving him drowning.

I think this distinction is important to make, not to start a battle of who has it worse—they both suffer, and it’s tragic, but because it highlights how truly brave Louis is. A lot of people in this fandom villainize him, most notably because of “his hand” in Larry denials, and it’s terrible. I don’t think some people realize how much strength it takes to risk putting a crack in the ice, and THAT is what Louis should be remembered for.

And just because Harry’s footing doesn’t have to be questioned as much does NOT take away from his strength or the battles he fights every day. That’s not the point I’m trying to make. Harry and Louis are equally victims of the industry, but Louis does have an added layer of uncertainty as far as his career goes.