#f2m

"Building a Male Body" by Beryl Dean Kotula

This article comes from a 1997 issue of Transgender Tapestry. Beryl Dean Kotula is a FTM artist, writer, and activist from Portland, Oregon. He has published other material, most notably his book The Phallus Palace, which documents the medical transition of FTM/F2M people in the early 2000s.

Morning Jog

‎Who would've thought that the weird, magical spell I found on the internet actually works and lets me possess someone. Today, I possessed my older brother for a morning jog. He's wearing the outfit I gave him as a gift, the one he never wore because he thought the color was too feminine. But look at him now… doesn’t it suit him perfectly?

‎God, being inside him is so much better than I imagined. Every stride makes his muscles flex under my control, and I can feel the weight of his heavier body, the raw power in his legs, and the way his dick bounces and rubs against the shorts. I’m getting off on how wrong it feels, my arrogant older brother jogging in public like this, completely unaware that I’m the one puppeteering his body and enjoying every filthy second of it.

Wanda desperately wanted her kids back. While studying the Darkhold, she discovered a spell that could permanently swap her consciousness with a multiversal counterpart. The spell was really hard to pull off correctly and could only be performed once, but she was so desperate she didn’t care about the risks. As she performed the spell, she felt her spirit begin to leave her body and enter the multiverse. 

When she opened her eyes, her surroundings were not what she expected. She found herself on some sort of spaceship. When she looked into a mirror, she was shocked to see none other than Peter Quill as her reflection.

It dawned on her that she had messed up the spell and potentially her only chance to get her kids back. She broke down on the floor and felt no connection to her previous powers. As her mind raced, she came up with an idea. She got up and examined herself in the mirror. This body was decently attractive, and she knew this universe’s version of her was a single mom.

She or now he would begin planning out how to end up with his multiversal counterpart. He would start by leaving the Guardians to return to Earth and start to put an emphasis on his looks, going for a more clean-cut style. Then he would slowly work his way into this Wanda’s life so he can be Billy and Tommy’s stepfather. Knowing everything about this universe’s Wanda from the countless hours he spent dreaming of her life, he was able to sweep her off her feet and soon marry her, no problem.

One time the Guardians paid Quill a visit and were shocked to see him now. Suddenly he now went by “Peter Maximoff” and lived as some stay-at-home husband dressed all clean-cut in nice clothes, spending his time taking care of his stepkids and occasionally going golfing with the other dads of Westview. It was like he was a completely different person unknown to them; he actually was.

While this definitely wasn’t the way Wanda imagined things going, he can’t say he has any complaints about his new life. He is just happy to be living with his new wife and kids while trying to be the best husband and stepfather he can be.

Carol knew her daughter would be furious if she went in her room, but she'd told Alice to clean it six times now and she was still waiting. So long as her daughter was living under her roof, Carol expected her to at least be reasonable about such things and besides - her best stock pot had gone missing alongside a load of camping equipment. She wanted to know what her daughter was up to.

Carol knew that Alice was currently having a hard time at school, but that didn't give her a pass on keeping her room clean. Alice had come to the attention of some of the popular girls and was currently being bullied, but she refused to tell anyone about it and had screamed at her Mom that she didn't need help as she had her own solution.

Carol was struggling to see what that might be. As far as she and George, Alice's Dad could see, their daughter just spent all her time dressed in black and reading musty old books. Carol had offered to go the teachers but Alice had screamed at her not to.

Alice was what Carol's generation had called a 'goth' and her daughter liked to wear black makeup, dressing in black Victorian looking outfits and boots. She also had an obsession with 'magic' and claimed she was learning to be a witch.

Entering her daughters room, Carol winced. It was so dark and gloomy in here. Heavy metal and anime posters covered the walls and the room looked like a bomb site with clothes everywhere. Ripping open the curtains to let in some light Carol tutted as she saw her prized cook pot on top of a camp burner. A thick liquid was bubbling away.

She couldn't believe her daughter had left this on. She could have burned the house down!

Take a walk in my shoes. Part 2

The bell rang, echoing through the halls. Mark just sat at the desk—legs crossed, hair tickling her cheek. She stared at the blank pages of her notebook, trying to will herself invisible. The world felt alien. Every laugh, every glance from classmates reminded her of what she’d lost, and what she could never explain to anyone else. She remembered everything—being a man, being respected, being Mark—but now she was just a shy, pretty girl, waiting for the day to end.

Down the corridor, Rebecca strode with a swagger she’d only ever dreamed of. Tall, broad, his beard catching the last of the sunlight, he filled the teacher’s frame with so much manly energy it was as if the whole school tilted around him. His new body fit him like a glove—every movement natural, every flex of muscle thrilling, every deep chuckle echoing from his chest like it had always belonged there.

Class let out, and Rebecca made a beeline for the men’s restroom, his shoes striking the tiles with confidence. Inside, he grinned at himself in the mirror: handsome, hairy, jaw square, eyes bright with something hungry and new. He stepped up to the urinal, unzipped, and let out a sigh—so deep and satisfied it bordered on laughter. For a moment he just stood there, hand steady, feeling the weight and heat, marveling at how right it felt.

He looked down at his thick forearms, the bulge in his jeans, the way his shirt strained across his chest. He caught his own grin in the mirror and winked, almost giddy—a schoolgirl’s excitement bottled up inside a body that could crush steel. This was his life now. The way it always should have been.

As he zipped up and stepped out, two teachers passed in the hall, whispering to each other about the new man on staff. Rebecca gave them a cocky, friendly nod, his smile infectious, his confidence bulletproof. He felt unstoppable, he ran out like a little schoolgirl full joy and excitement.

Still riding that high, Rebecca jogged out of school and down the block, whistling as he walked. The sky seemed brighter, the world full of promise. He ducked into a neighborhood shop he’d passed a thousand times as a girl but never dared to enter. Now, he walked in like he owned the place. He bought a bottle of poppers, some fresh razors, and—just for fun—a pair of briefs that left little to the imagination. The cashier eyed him with open admiration. Rebecca smirked, tossing his bag over one thick shoulder.

Home was different now. The photos lining the hall showed a boy growing into a man—awkward childhood, proud adolescence, and finally, the bearded hunk he’d become. It had always been this way in everyone’s memories except Mark’s.

But the bedroom… that was a riot of pink hearts and unicorns, fairy lights glowing soft over the bed, teddy bears crowding every surface. Rebecca laughed—a rich, masculine rumble that filled the room. He didn’t care. He kicked off his shoes, tore off his shirt, and stretched out across the bed, all muscle and scruff surrounded by softness.

He grabbed the bottle of poppers, took a deep, greedy sniff, and let his head fall back, a blissful smile spreading across his face. The room spun, muscles tingled, the world felt limitless.

He didn’t care about the unicorns, the hearts, or what anyone else thought. For the first time in his life, Rebecca was exactly who he wanted to be: a big, sexy, confident man, cocky and content, hungry for everything the world now had to offer.

Happy Valentine's Day, Everyone! For those of you spending it alone (or spending it with one or more person) who want something steamy to read, why don't you read my story Nerd to Knight.

Our lead, Emily Welch, a nerdy doctoral student lets off steam by playing an MMORPG called Nevermore. And she plays as a dashing swashbuckling knight (or a knight-buckler) named Sir Juan Marco Ravishlance. With his olive skin, long swishy black hair, violet eyes, piratical mustache and beard, well-muscled body, and sexy accent he looks and sounds and acts like someone you'd find on a cover of a romance novel. When a hack happens, everyone who plays Nevermore is transformed into their characters. And not only is Emily in the real life/non-pixilated body of Ravishlance, she is acting like how she pictured him too. And the stats have been transferred from the game, and JM has recently maxxed his charisma.

And did I mention Emily has a smoking hot roommate Sierra, who she has a crush on? And as Juan Marco it's amplified (and it doesn't help that the transformation didn't skimp the real world biological aspects, and Emily has new male hormones coursing through her blood, and...in addition to her full suit of radiant armor she... he... has a broadsword in his pants). Will our hero fully embrace his newfound romantic tendencies? And will Sierra return his love knowing his true identity under his knightly visage? And will Emily choose to stay as a fantastical 6'8" rogue of a knight? Read on. By yourself or with your partner, on the bed, in the bath, and with your favorite toy. Instead of looking for romance, why not become romantic?