#exercise journey

Me 3 years ago. Me currently. In the last three years, since I started taekwondo and a healthier eating habits, my life, self-esteem and self-love have improved greatly. Loosing weight made me come to terms with my body and gender, and taekwondo made me gain much needed confidence and strength.

When I started Taekwondo I was 70 kilos and 163 cm. I was overweight. I was already loosing weight by then. I had already started dieting. No photos of me when I was nearing obesity because that was the time I despised my body the most so I took no photos.

Currently I am at 59 kilos.

I went from an Euro size 42 to an Euro size 34-36-38 (depends on the fabric and cut of the clothes). I have no desire to loose further weight from 56 kilos or gain more than 60. Those are my numbers.

From going down in clothes size, my boob cup went down too. Not a loss actually. What I love the most however is that I now have a waist. Before I looked like a rectangle (can't see that on that dress pic because that dress was with a cut to make illusion of a waist).

I have a waist. And I love it. I love accentuated waist in any person.

This was a three year journey that required exercise, healthy eating and determination.

My posture has also improved, as you can see. I tend to slouch less.

My arms still have a lot of loose skin because I don't exercise them as often as my legs.

My binge eating disorder and compulsive eating disorder are still here. They ain't going away ever, but I have much more control now than before.

My mother is also constantly sabotaging my healthy eating habits and we often argue over the amounts of food I choose to eat.

And I am a Taekwondo green belt and love it.

My greatest achievements is getting a "Very Good" qualitative score on my Taekwondo overall performance evaluation, when I come from a background of straight F at Gym class in school.

I am a Taekwondo green belt, from a background of hating sports. And now I can say. I love Taekwondo, I love cycling, and I enjoy exercise.

Current objectives are to improve my flexibility so I can kick higher.

There were no dieting supplements, no miracle pills, no 30 or 90 day weight loss challenges/ diets.

It was three years of regular weekly exercise (3 days a week, 1h more or less), healthy eating (one yeet day were I ate junk food or sweets), more times a day but smaller portions. Abandoning sodas and bread with every meal.

It took three years for me to get here. If you go into a diet expecting results in one week, it's not going to work. This is the reason why diet culture is bad, because people go to it expecting changes in one month. Doesn't work that way and the more fat you have, the quicker you see results, but if you have a lot of muscle, or already started loosing weight, it'll take longer to see results.

I know so much of this *is* interconnected but I need to see it as two separate things. I always throw one away if I’ve not done well with the other.

E.g. if I’ve been off plan with food I’ll stop walking and running.

Or

If I’ve not been running or walking I’ll be more like ‘ah fuck it’ when it comes to snacks.

So I’m trying to see them as two things that I’m working on separately.

I’ve had about 3 days off plan over the past week but I’m still in my gear ready for a run before my date later. And I ran Friday as well.

I’m also considering taking my running gear on holiday as I’m away for 10 days and I don’t want to lose the tiny fitness level I have built thus far.

But I still find it hard because I feel that sense of ‘is it worth it?’ I’ve worked hard to not see the workout as a punishment for eating and I think that almost makes it harder ha.

I not only got out today, but went for a little adventure and discovered a new National Trust place which was amazing! Getting out in the fresh air sure does wonders for your mood.

Celebratory throwing of arms!

So usually I'm pretty quiet about my goals so if I fail I don't have to admit it. But this time I'm going to try as I think me and my goals are worthy even before they're complete!

Okay so here goes, I'm not making too much of it, and if I fail it doesn't mean I'm some big failure - I'm just human!

Plus these won't be about weight because my focus isn't that. It's getting healthier so I can take on life to my fullest potential (Not that I'm not attempting to do that now!)

Achieve my 'Move' goal every day all month.

Achieve a perfect week (7 days of achieving my daily goal) of my 'Exercise' goal.

Achieve a perfect week on my 'Stand' goal.

Basically if I do these I get little spiny awards on my Apple app and I love 'em.

alright gang.

the council (me) has decided this is this week’s quest.

will i survive?

probably.

will i complain?

absolutely.