10 years ago today the Samwell Menâs Hockey Haus hosted EpiKegster 2014. Tweets were tweeted, hockey trivia was shared, emotional conversations were had, and most importantlyâŚ.Tub Juice was drunk.
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Lardo is in Jack's room trying to convince to give this one a shot, Ransom is making a last minute trip to stop and shop, Holster is stealing Bitty's phone is order to hook it up and Shitty is stirring the tub to make the prefect bright green juice.
/Scrubbing smooth young skin saying I don't know/
There's only so much Lardo can say when Jack is like this, she tries by saying his caught up on work and there definitely no game tomorrow. But Jack is convinced something bad is going to happen and what that go. He is sitting on the bed across from her with his arms wrapped around himself not saying a word.
"I'm going to go get Shitty so you guys can hug it out and he can tell you , you absolutely don't have to go downstairs if you don't want to."
"Don't" A quiet voice but clear message
Lardo turns and settles on saying "Want me to stay for awhile?"
Jack nod is only slight so Lardo sits cross legged at the end of the bed and takes out her until Jack wants to talk.
/Grab a bag, grab a bottle but leave the "what if?"
The Aces win 5-2 against the Bruins and Kent gets a hat trick. He wants to celebrate however when his team drags him to a bar, he bails after one drink and hops in a taxi with Samwell as his destination. For once he's not thinking about what Jack's reaction will be but simply what his own actions are going to be.
/You'll see it in the morning after your kicks/
( What Kent doesn't know is that he will come to regret this night for the next few months until Swoops convinces him to go see a therapist about his issues)
/All you will need for a rocking good time is a bunch of people who don't give a damn/
Holster is dancing with a girl from his 10am econ class and looking very close to losing his toga soon. Lardo is flat out destroying Ransom at their second round of flip cup. Bitty is getting hit by one of the football players but is clearly oblivious and keeps glancing upstairs. Shitty is trying to convince the frogs that yes they all do need to take a least one cup of tub juice.
/There's a yes, in your head, gotta find where it's at/
Jack can feel the pumping bass through the floorboards. The music louder than it should be and people are stumbling across the grass outside his window. His phone beeps and he checks it - a text from Bitty , asking if he is coming down - and decides in that second of non-panic that he can and should go have fun with his friends. He remembers to lock his bedroom door before he heads down though.
/You'll lose it in the morning but ignore that/
( What Jack doesn't know yet is that he was right with saying something bad is going to happen and that he will have to try his hardest to make through the holidays without thinking his dad isn't proud of him).
/And we're not bruised, they're just party tattoos and that colourful mess is just colourful regret/
Nursey falls of the coffee table and at the next practice - in January- Holster can still make fun of him for the large mark visible on his knee.
/My mummy said to always wear a coat ... don't forget she'll be right when it's three a.m so shiver, but shiver with a friend/
Ollie and Wicks volunteer to walk the frogs back to dorms for the sole reason of getting blackmail material. Ollie takes at least 100 photos of Dex,Nursey and Chowder trying to scramble their way into one singular sweater.
/Life was fun, full of love, full of hopeful smiles bet you wish you were here but I'll see you in a while/
Epikegster wasn't the last party Shitty held before graduation but it was the most memorable. For different reasons to different people. It's this Shitty knows he will miss after college - you can hold these type of parties with law students. He has arm around Lardo and knows - even if he doesn't make that much tub juice in one go again or wake up with that large of a hangover - that he will always be able to have fun with a least one person forever.
  Jack went down the stairs with a huff of annoyance. The first floor of the Haus was packed from wall to wall. Loup thumping music, laughter and yells that were barely tolerable from his room now seemed almost tangible, crushing him from all sides. He could already feel the beginnings of a headache.
 He pushed his way through and managed to reach the kitchen unscated. Only three guys were sitting at the table, loudly debating Platoâs cavern versus the Matrix, and another was leaning on the counter near the stove, muttering to himself.
Jack opened a cupboard, swore under his breath when he saw that it was empty of their usual mugs, glasses and bottles. He took a new red solo cup from the enormous pack available to all, and filled it with tap water, trying to ignore the guys at the table.
 â...arenât you the most precious thing, babyâŚâ
 Jack turned around. The guy next to the oven was muttering endearments with a southern drawl- but there was no one next to him. He wasnât even holding a phone.
 Jack had a doubt. Was the guy talking to him?
 âYes, you are lovely, a bit old, but I would love you, and take care of you, and create glorious things with you, oh sweetheart, if onlyâŚâ
 The guy was not talking to Jack. He was talking to the oven.
 He was also, apparently, completely drunk.
 â... better things than pizza rolls, you can be sure of that, you sexy thingâŚâ
 Jack was a moment away from heading back to his room when he heard a sob.
 â... but itâs not to be, pretty thing, you and I will have to go our own separate ways and- sniffle- get with our own lonely lives and - oh lord, Iâm being ridiculous-â
 âHuh-â started Jack. âAre you okay?â
 The guy turned around. He looked older than Jack expected. At least, he seemed to be over eighteen. Jack only had an impression of eyes and blond before he got the drunkest and fakest smile he ever saw in his life.
 âHI!â said the boy. âGosh, youâre big.â
â... are you okay?â repeated Jack.
 âWhy, yes, of course! Iâm peachy!â
 âYouâre crying.â
 The guy seemed surprised by this fact. He dried his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie and made a dismissive gesture with his other hand.
 âDonât mind me, sweetheart, Iâm being silly.â
 â...You were crying,â insisted Jack. âAnd talking to the oven.â
 âWell, no one else seemed to give her love, so I figured-â
 He stopped himself and looked at Jack.
 âYouâre the Captain of the hockey team,â he realised. âThis is your house. This is your oven.â
 â...Yes? In a manner of speaking?â
 âWhatâs her name?â
 âWhose name?â
 âThe OVEN,â insisted the guy.
 âShe- it doesnât have a name?â
 âBlasphemy. If I had the chance to own such a lovely baby, I would name her something adorable! Like Daisy, or Betsy, and I would bake everyday, I would make pies and cookies and biscuits and-â
 He burst into tears.
 Jack threw a look around. The guys at the table were staring at them.
 âDude, what'd you do to him?â
 âNothing!â
 âDâyou break up with him or something?â
 âNo! We just met! He was talking about the oven- and then- and then-â
 He made a helpless motion towards the crying boy.
 âMaybe you should do something about it?â suggested one of them.
 âLike what?â
 âDunno. Something. To make him stop crying.â
 Jack hesitated. He thought about retreating to the safety of his room, where the music didnât hurt his ears and blonde strangers didnât burst into tears at the sight of a kitchen appliance.
 Awkwardly, he lifted a hand and patted the guyâs shoulder.
 â...there, there,â he muttered, feeling like the most ridiculous man on Earth.
 He got several thumbs ups from the table residents. Which didnât help his predicament at all. The boy was still crying.
 âHey, hey, shh, donât cry, everything is going to be okayâŚâ
 âYou donât know that!â wailed the blonde boy.
 âOkay, youâre right. Maybe, huh, what could make it right?â
 âI want to BAAAAAAAAAKE!â
(more under the cut!)
 Jack looked at the table, but no help came from them.
 âBake? Like, huh, drugs baking or-â
 âI want to make a pie- I want to make a million pies! My mama sends me new recipes almost daily and I canât use the dorm ovens at night because they close at eight, EIGHT PM! What kind of schedule is that? I have practice âtill seven, I need to prepare everything the night before and run back so I can use it and most of the time theyâre already in use! By people who donât appreciate good cooking! I had to delay my new strawberry-rhubarb recipes for- for- forâ
 A large hiccup.
 â-for PILLSBURY COOKIES!â he shrieked.
 He took a large breath and started to fall sideways. Jack caught him and placed him next to the counter.
 âYou are drunk,â he said.
 âYesss⌠yes I am. It was the green juice. I didnât thinkâŚâ
 âTub juice would do that. How much did you drink?â
 âOne cup? And a beer?â
 â...Is that all? Tub juice is strong, but you look on the verge of passing out. Here, stay.â
 He grabbed the glass of water heâd filled for himself and made the boy empty it.
 âNow another one.â
 âNooooooooâŚâ
 âIf you donât want to die of alcohol poisoning, drink more water.â
 ââtold you I didnât drink lots. Is just⌠practice. And school. Mâtired.â
 His speech was getting slurred. Jack looked around, but the table guys had gone back to their argument.
 âAre you going to throw up? Because Iâd rather you donât do it in the kitchen.â
 âIâd NEVER disrespect a kitchen like that, Mister Hockey- Hockey Captain!â
 âYou look like youâre going to throw up. Come, Iâll help you reach the bathroom.â
 Jack steered him through the crowd, sometimes having to fight his way through and pull the boy behind him. His face fell when he saw the door : there was a ten person lineup.
 âOkay. Come, weâre going upstairs.â
 He pulled a bit on the boyâs arm, but met resistance.
 âUpstairs?â repeated the guy.
 âYes. Thereâs another bathroom you can use.â
 âI- Iâm not sureâŚâ
 âIf you want to.â
 âBut I really need to peeâŚâ
 He glanced up, then around.
 âI was with friends, earlier? But- I lost them when I found the kitchen and⌠And Iâm not sure-â
 He blinked and pulled his phone out of his pockets.
 âI gotta call⌠huh, Cam. Cam will be sober enough.â
 Jack waited patiently.
 âHello- Cam! Where are you? ⌠What- I was looking for you, guys! I want froyo too! ⌠Well heâd better be REALLY cute! ⌠Oh yeah, that was a cute one- alright! ⌠Huh Cam- Iâm SO DRUNK, and thereâs this guy- Mister hockey, he wants me to go upstairs with himâŚâ
 There was some yelling that even Jack could hear through the music.
 âNoooo not like that! Heâs super hot but noooo! I just need to pee! Thereâs a line, so heâs helping me- the bathroom upstairs- Cami, please listen-â
 There was more yelling. Then, the boy gave the phone to Jack.
 âShe wants to speak to you.â
 Jack took the offered phone with a twinge of fear in his heart.
 â...Hello?â
 âYou listen, you piece of shit- you better not touch my friend while heâs drunk or youâll face my wrath. You a hockey bro? I know your Captain- you touch my friend and heâll make sure you wonât be able to set foot on the ice- or even approach an ICE CUBE TRAY-â
 âCamilla?â
 âWHat- Jack?â
 âYes.â
 âOh thank god itâs you- Youâre the only hockey douche I could trust with Eric.â
 âYour friend is very drunk. He was talking to the oven.â
 âHe does that.â
 â... Alright. I gave him water and was about to show him where the upstairs bathroom are- but not- not like that.â
 âOh, I know, Jack, youâre a gentleman. Thanks for helping. Now gimme Eric.â
 He gave the phone back and waited some more. Eric hung up with a drunken smile.
 âApparently youâre a sweetheart. She says I can trust you.â
 âOh, thatâs good.â
 âCan we go now? I REALLY need to pee.â
 Jack had to practically drag him up the stairs, each step wobblier than the last. At some point he wondered if he could just throw him over his shoulder, but he really didnât fancy ending the night covered in vomit.
 After he showed the boy - Eric- the bathroom, he waited awkwardly in the hallway. The safety and calm of his own room called to him. On the other hand, if Eric slipped and broke his head, Camilla would castrate him with a tennis racket.
 He hesitated until the door opened up once again. Eric smiled at him.
 âYouâre still there! Do you needâŚ?â
 âHum, no, I was making sure you were okay?â
 âOh, youâre lovely. Iâm⌠okay?â he said, leaning on the doorway. âEverything is turning, I think I need to lie down⌠and Iâll be okay after that.â
 He took two steps and leaned on the opposite wall.
 âI donât think I can go back to my dorm right now,â he admitted in a mumble. âYou guys have a couch?â
 âThere were three couples making out on it when we walked by. And itâs- not pretty. Old and moldy.â
 âEEEEwwwww ugly couch. No way. Nope. Nuh-uh.â
 âThereâs my room right over there, if you, huhâŚâ
 âAw Mister Hockey, are you trying to be all smooth?â
 â...I have a bean bag?â
 Eric burst out laughing.
 âItâs Shittyâs. I mean, it belongs to my friend, Shitty. He complained that- well, he tends to sit on my bed, naked, so when I told him to stop he brought his own beanbag and, huh, Iâll put a sheet on it- huhâŚâ
 âGuh. I need that beanbag. I need to have a sit. And think. About my life.â
 Jack led him back to his room, covered the bean bag and sat Eric on top of it. The music was still too loud for his tastes, but he left the door open. He didnât want anyone to think⌠He also didnât want Eric to be scared. Being endorsed by Camilla was one thing, but anyone would be scared to find themselves completely drunk, in a closed room with a bigger stranger.
âAre you okay, Eric?â
âYeeessss⌠Tell your friend with the weird name that his bean bag is the BEST. Oh my god, I need one. I donât have enough space in my dorm. But I can change my bed. Yes. I can sleep on the bean bag.â
Jack frowned. Eric was spread-eagled, his head thrown back. It looked like it would hurt.
âThereâs another bathroom, right next to you. If you need waterâŚâ
 âNooo⌠Youâre an angel. A hockey angel. A handsome, fit, nice, sweet angel. And your eyes are stupid blue. Itâs unfair.â
 Jack blinked, and slowly sat on his desk chair.
 â...unfair?â
 âThat men like you exist,â said Eric with a vague wavy motion. âPrince Charming. But for girls.â
 âIâm no prince charmingâŚ?â
 âGirls get everything. The best boys, the best fairy tales, the best sequins!â
 âSequins?â
 âI asked my coach! I wanted sequins too! Well, I already have some, but I wanted more, MORE SEQUINS! She said it wouldnât look too manly. I donât WANT to look manly, I want to be a living disco ball!â
 â...what⌠what kind of sport do youâŚâ
 âSkate. I skate. And I twirl, and I jump, and I dance on this amazing classical cover of Halo, and I would have won first place at that stupid regional if I had more sequins on my suit. This is stupid. And unfair. Like your eyes.â
 People had said everything about Jackâs physique over the years, but no one had ever told him his eyes were unfair. He wasnât sure how to take it.
 âSo, youâre a figure skater,â he said, trying to get the conversations back to sports.
 âIâm the BEST figure skater. They found me all the way down in Georgia and they gave me money to skate here. Which is good, because GEORGIA SUCKS BALLS!â
 Jack snorted despite himself.
 âIâm sorry, darling, but some things deserve to be sweared- sworn- deserve to be said bad things about. And I liked my Madison? But Madison didnât like me. Too much sequins.â
 âOh.â
 âYeaaaaaah. I like it here. I can tell a handsome boy heâs handsome and be almost sure he wonât beat me up.â
 âI wouldnât-!â
 âNah I know, sugar, I know, youâre one of the good apples. Mâlucky you found me tonight, or Iâd still be crying over poor Betsy downstairs.â
 âBet- Oh, the oven.â
 âSheâs a beauty. I miss baking.â
 âI know. Maybe you can, I donât know, come over, and bake?â
 Suddenly, it was as if the sun parted the clouds. Ericâs smile blinded him.
 âYou would let me bake? In your oven?â
 âNot really my oven, but, yeah. If you want to- Are you crying again? Please donât cry.â
 âIâm so sorry- Iâm just- so tired. And drunk. Can I bake now?â
 âYou just told me you were tired and drunk.â
 âPish-posh, I can make my moomawâs prize-winning apple pie with my eyes closed and completely shitfaced.â
 âI completely believe you, but I donât want to set the Haus on fire. Not during a kegster.â
 âAlriiiiight, spoilsport.â
 He flopped back on the bean bag, muttering something like âpretty spoilsportâ. During the following silence, Jack started his laptop and went back to reading the article on depression era rationing heâd found earlier in the evening. Once in a while, Eric muttered to himself, pointed at shapes in the ceiling and huffed the words âsequinsâ. After a moment of silence, Jack lifted his head and saw that Eric was asleep.
 Hm.
 He shouldnât be surprised, really. He could wake Eric and walk him to his dorm. After some rest, maybe he would be able to walk on his own.
 Jack set his alarm an hour later and concentrated on his thesis. The music and yelling were annoying, but he wouldnât have survived in a frat house if he werenât able to ignore loud noises.
 He was in the middle of typing a very good paragraph when a knock on his doorframe got him out of his focus. At first he thought it was Eric, but the boy still slept on his bean bag, head thrown backwards.
 He turned around, and froze.
 âHey Zimms. Didja miss me?â
 â...Kent. What are you doing here?â
 âWhat, not even an hello? Talk about rude, Jack, I know your mom raised you better than that.â
 Kent entered the room with a fake bravado that almost convinced Jack.
 âI was in the neighborhood. Thought Iâd come say hello.â
 âOh. Hello, then.â
 Kent raised his eyebrows, went to close the door behind him.
 âNo- Donât,â said Jack, motioning to Eric.
 âHuh. Whatâs up with him?â
 âTub Juice. He definitely needs to eat more, probably protein. What are you really doing here, Kenny?â
 âI- well. I WAS coming to say hello- for real, hoping youâd be less of a dick this time, but it seems you havenât changed much.â
 Jack pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming. The noise downstairs didnât help.
 âAlright, I get it. So, whatâs up with you? Playing the Falcs?â
 âYeah. We won, but that Mashkov brute got me solid,â he said, pointing to his side. âIâm probably all black and blue under there, hurts like a bitch.â
 âMashkovâs a good player.â
âHeâs a barbarian, thatâs what he is. But enough about my war wounds, what about you? Heard you were shopping teams?â
Jack frowned, shifted on his seat.
âIs that what youâre doing?â he asked. âDid your manager sent you?â
âFuck Jack, canât I just want to know where my friend is playing? Or whatever weâre supposed to be, lately? I just want news, alright? You shut me out for YEARS, Jack, and you act like a bitch whenever I come around. I tried calling your parents but they just stare at me sadly- like at the poor boy, canât deal with rejection, canât get over -â
 âKENNY. Alright- I get it. I get it. Whatever you say.â
 A long silence stretched between them. Eric snored. They both looked at him distractedly, to avoid staring at each other.
 âSo,â tried Kent.
 âI donât know.â
 âYou have no clue?â
 âI mean⌠It could be MontrĂŠal, it could be L.A. okay? I donât know.â
 Kent bit his lip.
 â... What about Las Vegas?â
 Jack stopped looking at him. It was too complicated. Las Vegas had Kent, and how was he supposed to play with Kent if they couldnât even hold a decent conversation? How could he, if just looking at him brought back this whirlwind of want and jealousy and anxiety that once had led him to overdose on a bathroom floor.
 âI⌠I donât know, okay?â he repeated. He didnât have an answer now, he needed time to THINKâŚ
 But Kent stepped forward, and braced himself on Jackâs armrests.
 They just looked at each other. Jack wanted. To kiss and fight and hide and cry. It was unfair that only one person could have so many ties to the things he tried to keep locked inside.
 âParseâŚâ
 A kiss. Soft, heartbreaking. Jack wanted this to be easy. He wanted to forget everything else. This was easy at some point, right? This had been fun.
 âKenny... I canât do this,â he whispers.
 Another kiss. Oh, how he wanted.
 âJack, come onâŚâ
 It would be so easy- so easy to lose himself again. Kent was there, with his lips, those eyes, the skin underneath his clothes- He could try to get it all back, he missed this so much-
 He placed a hand on Kentâs chest and pushed back, soft as a feather. Kent retreated, his eyes closed, frowning.
 âNo, I, âŚ.huhâ
 Kent stood back, his expression closed. Jack got up, trying to explain- It wasnât against Kent, it was everything else. It wasnât a rejection- because he wanted, he wanted so many things in life, and Kent was among them- but he just couldnât. Not like this.
 âKenny-â he tried to explain.
 But it was too late, Kent had recovered.
 â - Zimms, just fucking stop thinking for once and listen to me. Iâll tell the GMs youâre on board and they can free up cap space. Then you can be DONE with this shitty team-â
 âGet out.â
 The words were out before he even thought of them. Kent saw that he made a tactical error.
 â-- Jack,â he tried, apologetic.
 But it was enough, there were too many emotions battling inside of Jack and he just couldnât deal with the maelstrom- he felt it approach, and knew it was only a matter of time before drowning- and he didnât want Kent to see it and see how pathetic Jack still was-
 Parse needed to leave.
 âYou canât- You donât come to my fucking school unannounced-â
 âBecause you shut me out!â
 â-- And corner me in my room-â
 âIâm trying to help--â
 â--And expect me to do whatever you want--â
 âFUCK-- JACK!! What do you want me to say? That I miss you? I miss you, ok?â
 Fuck, Jack couldnât think about this. If he thought about the pain he caused Kent, he was going to break, he was-
 â...I miss you.â
 It took a gigantic effort, but Jack kept it together for a couple moments more. He closed his expression. He erased his heart. He looked at Kent square in the face and thought of the meanest thing he could- to make him leave.
 âYou always say that.â
 Kent stepped back, as if hit by a silent bullet.
 â...huh. Well shit. Okay.â
 A beat. Maybe Jack didnât fuck it up again, maybe thereâs a chance-
 â... You know what, Zimmermann? You think youâre too fucked up to care about? That youâre not good enough? Everybody already KNOWS what you are- but itâs people like me who still CARE-â
 â...shut upâŚâ
 âYouâre scared everyone else is going to find out youâre worthless, right? OH- DONâT WORRY, JUST GIVE IT A FEW SEASONS, JACK- TRUST ME-â
 âThatâs mean.â
 Kent stopped shouting. Both turned back and looked at the corner of the room, where Eric was slowly getting up from the bean bag.
 âYouâre being RUDE!â
 âWho the hell are you?â asked Kent.
 âIâm the one telling you you have no manners! Didnât your mama teach you not to be rude to people?â
 âEric?â asked Jack, shaking. âHow much did you hear?â
 âWell I was trying NOT TO EAVESDROP, because itâs impolite, but yâall started yelling, and that one here was mean to you and you donât deserve it because youâre an angel sent from above!â
 Kent scoffed, ready to answer, but Eric lifted a finger.
 âI donât care whatâs your problem, I donât even care whoâs right and whoâs wrong- but this man here is a SWEETHEART and he let me crash on his beanbag and he didnât even beat me up and heâs going to let me use his OVEN- so Iâm telling you, sir, that if you want to tell him a single mean thing, youâre going to have to get THROUGH ME!â
 âHuh, Eric, you donât have to-â tried Jack.
 âYou know what-â, started Kent, â Iâm outta here. Call me if you reconsider, or whatever.â
 He looked back, ready to throw a last jibe but saw Bittleâs glare and thought better of it. He put his hat back on and left towards the loud music downstairs.
 Jack closed the door behind him, locked it, and slowly sat on the ground, his back on the wood. He was shaking. He was going to drown, but at least Kent wouldnât be there to see it.
 âHey, sweetheart, Iâm sorry if I overstepped,â mumbled Eric, sitting next to him. âI just didnât like the look on your face- You didnât look like you were enjoying his company.â
 âNo- itâs- youâre right, I⌠I wanted him gone. I⌠I should get back up and let you leave- Iâm sorryâŚâ
 âHey, itâs alright, Iâm not leaving you alone like this, youâre shaking like a leaf in a storm. You- you know you can talk to me? Iâm telling no one. Iâll probably forget all of this in the morning-â
 âHow much did you see?â
 Eric sighed.
 âHoney, Iâve spent my life hiding. Liking boys is a complicate business in Georgia. Iâm not telling a soul about you and that jerk.â
 Jack nodded. He took a long moment to get his bearings back. He looked at his bedside alarm clock. Five minutes. Seven. Ten. Eric stayed next to him, waiting.
 At twelve minutes, Jack broke the silence.
 âHeâs not mean,â he whispered. âParse. Heâs sometimes a dick but heâs not evil.â
 âJust rude,â scoffed Eric. âBut I get it. You donât seem like the kind of guy to go making out with evil boys. He must have something worth the trouble, I mean, despite being ridiculously pretty.â
 Jack snorted.
 âYeah. We were good friends but⌠huh, it turned sour. Bad things.â
 âBad things,â echoed Eric with a nod. âYeah, we all have those. It sucks.â
 âIt sucks.â
 Jack stretched his legs, closed his fists. The anxiety still ran through them, not as strong as before, but he could feel them weaker, he could feel the adrenalin in his veins. The thought of leaving his room was too much to consider.
 âEric? I wanted to walk you back to your dorm, but Iâll be honest, I donât know if I can anymoreâŚâ
 âItâs alright, sugar, Iâm a little bit better, I can find my own way.â
 âI- huh, Iâd rather know youâre safe? If you leave Iâll just panic some moreâŚâ
 âOh donât use those big blue eyes on me, Mister! Theyâre unfair!â
 â...You already told me that.â
 âWell they ARE. They can make a boy do anything.â
 A silence, a thought between them. Eric flushed a bit.
 âI donât mean it like that! Well- maybe, youâre stupid handsome- but- but- you have horrible taste in men!â
 âHaha, maybe. But I mean, you can stay? Not in any sketchy way, I swear.â
 âOh, Iâm sure youâre a perfect gentleman. Are you sure thereâs enough space?â
 âMy friend Shitty often spends the night over, it fits two big hockey players. Iâm pretty sure itâll fit a tiny figure skater.â
 âDonât sass me, Mister Hockey Captain, or I wonât make you muffins tomorrow.â
 They slowly climbed back to their feet, Eric still a little bit unsteady. He texted his whereabouts to Camilla and left the cell phone on the desk, before taking a pillow and snuggling under the covers, head at the foot of the bed. Jack was still too weak to change, so he took his usual place, jeans and all. Ericâs feet were grazing his shoulder. His own probably were near Ericâs face.
 âAre my feet squashing your face?â
 âA bit. I donât mind, this bed is comfy. And comfier than mine. Is it weird if I ask to come back to sleep here?â
 âA bit. Maybe after the third date?â
 âYou better keep your word, Mister Hockey, or Iâll take the beanbag to soothe my broken heart.â
 âNo, please, or my friend will be back to sleep naked on my bed.â
 âAnd here I thought you might like this sort of thing,â snorted Eric.
 A beat. Jack didnât know how to answer.
âI didnât mean it like- Iâm sorry if I went to far!â said Eric.
 âNo, itâs alright- Iâm not used to be chirped about this. It was surprising, thatâs all.â
 â...Are you feeling better?â
 âA bit. It takes time to come back to normal. You help.â
 âMâglad. Iâll cuddle your stinky feet all night and bake you muffins in the morning. Anything you like?â
 â...Pecan?â
 â...Silly Canadian, itâs pronounced pecan,â mumbled Eric, before falling asleep.
 Jack took a while to fall asleep, but for once, it wasnât so bad.
    Jack still woke up early, a little bit surprised to find Eric holding his leg like a stuffed animal. He disentangled himself and went for a run. Heâd need to finish packing soon, his plane left at two PM and airports were insane during the holidays. He didnât know what to do about Kent, he didnât know what to do about Eric, he still didnât know what team heâd go for next year-
 But when he stepped back into the Haus, he was greeted by a divine smell.
 The other partygoers seemed to have left the premises, but the other inhabitants of the Haus were sitting at the kitchen table, staring openmouthed at Eric, who was happily making pancakes.
 âOh, hi!â said Eric with a cheerful smile. âYouâre just in time for the first batch of blueberry pancakes!â
 âI didnât even know we had blueberries,â mumbled Ransom.
 âWhy does Jack get first pick?â shouted Holster. âWe helped clean the kitchen and shit!â
 âBecause this lovely gentleman let me crash on a beanbag while I was drunkenly making a fool of myself, and he didnât even gawk at me, unlike what yâall are doing right now.â
 âBro, whatever youâre making smells insane,â said Lardo. âNothing in this Haus ever smells that good, itâs almost creepy.â
 âItâs my moomawâs pecan muffin recipe, theyâll be ready soon. The pancakes are almost done- Mister Hockey, sweetheart, please sit down, yours are ready. I want to try my hand at oatmeal chocolate chip cookies but I donât want to impose-â
 âYES,â shouted at the same time Holster, Shitty and Ransom.
 âBro,â added Lardo.
 âI donât think Iâll have enough butter, though? And I donât know if yâall have chocolate chips?â
 In one smooth move, Ransom got up, stole a pancake from Jackâs plate, stuffed it into his mouth and walked outside without even taking his coat.
 âGO TO MURDER STOP AND SHOP- I SAW THEY GOT CHOCO CHIPS LAST WEEK!â shouted Holster after him.
 âTiny bro, tell the lady what else you need so you never leave this kitchen again,â said Shitty, pointing at Lardo, who was busy texting Ransom.
 âOh! Huh, the usual? Milk, eggs, butter, sugar⌠Iâd like some fresh fruits for pies? But if you donât know how to pick them, canned can make do, for this time, I mean-â
 Lardo was busy typing all this up. Holster, seeing that it would probably be too much for Ransom, stole another pancake, rolled it up, bit it like a cigar and stepped out from the Haus, holding both his coat and Ransomâs.
 âBut- donât they want to eat breakfast first? The pancakes are right there!â
 âLittle bro, we need to think big picture. I donât know where Jack found you, but weâre keeping you. Youâre now part of the Samwell Hockey team forever, you get free access to this kitchen and whatever you need to make art like this happen.â
 Eric put a hand in front of his mouth, eyes threatening to water again.
 âYâall- this is so sweet! I wonât disappoint you!â
 âWe need to find you a jersey and a nickname,â said Shitty, looking at the ceiling. âWhat did you say your name was?â
 âEric Bittle.â
 âHum-â
 âBitty,â said Lardo without lifting her eyes from the cell. âBecause heâs so small.â
 âExcuse me? I think Iâm bigger than you are!â
 âNope, too late, youâre Bitty!â shouted Shitty with glee. âWelcome to the team!â
 Eric rolled his eyes and set plates of pancakes in front of Shitty and Lardo, who instantly covered them with fake syrup. Jack scrunched his nose. Heâd rather eat them dry instead of that fake shit. He needed to bring back some real syrup from MontrĂŠal, something deserving of Ericâs cooking.
 âSo, Mister Hockey?â asked Eric, taking the chair next to his. âHow is it?â
 Jack nodded, his mouth too full to answer.
 âThatâs the best compliment a boy could ask for,â Eric smiled.
   After breakfast, Jack had to leave and pack, even if heâd rather stay in the lively atmosphere of the kitchen. Ransom and Holster had brought back the entire baking aisle of the Murder Stop and Shop, and Eric hadnât stopped baking all morning. Somewhere around noon, he knocked on Jackâs door, a tupperware of muffins in hand.
 âThese are for you. I wanted to thank you for last night, and for letting me use old Betsy. Itâs been a while since anyone was so nice to me.â
Jack took the muffins. They looked delicious.
 âI want to thank you too, for huh. You know.â
 âI know, sweetheart. Donât worry, Iâll keep your secret next to mine, they can keep each other company,â he added with a self-depreciating smile.
 Something in that smile broke Jackâs heart.
 âAre you going back home for the holidays?â he asked.
 âYes, back to Georgia.â
 âThey donât like sequins?â
 Bitty smiled, sadly.
 âNo, they donât like sequins.â
 ...âEric? Would you like to, huh, keep in touch? During the holidays?â
 Suddenly, Bittleâs full smile was back. Jack knew heâd said the right thing.
 âNothing could make me happier. Here, give me your phone.â
 While he was putting his own number, he looked at the hallway. There was no one, everyone was still downstairs devouring the cookies and commenting loudly on how delicious they were.
 âHuh⌠Maybe Iâm too forward,â Eric mumbled, without lifting his eyes from the cell, â...butâŚâ
 âWould you like to go out?â asked Jack. âOn a date? With me? When we come back?â
 Eric smiled, raised himself on his toes and kissed his cheek. Yes, Jack had definitely done something right.
 âIâd be glad too. Have a nice holiday, Jack.â
In an effort to create a friendly rivalry between the fraternities, sororities, and sport teams that had houses along Jason Street, the Swallow decided to sponsor a snowman building competition. The team with the best display in front of their house would be given a trophy and a large supply of Annieâs coffee.
Most of the Samwell Menâs Hockey team hadnât given a second thought to the announcement until Ransom and Holster burst into the Haus one day, proclaiming that they had signed the team up because the Lax bros were going down. Apparently one of the Chads in Ransomâs class was bragging about how they would get the prize no problem, and without hesitation, Ransom had pulled up the entry form and signed them up.
âI know itâll be a lot of work, but we canât let them win because FUUUCCKK the Lax Bros,â to which the teammates around the table agreed.
âFine, but what were you thinking?â Nursey asked, his vague interest in these proceedings growing the more enthusiastic Ransom became.
âHolster owns the complete Calvin and Hobbes collection, Iâm sure we can find some inspiration there.â
***
When Lardo came home after class that evening she was greeted to the sight of several grown hockey players reading comics and diagramming potential layouts for their âEpikegsterâ themed snowman diorama. She had brought Ford over to start showing her the ropes in what she had hoped to be a fairly normal fashion, but instead they had been greeted with chaos strewn all over the living room.
But like any good team manager (or potential team manager) they each took it in stride and lended their talents.
By the end of the night they had a plan of action that included Ford, Dex, and Tango setting up a tall barrier of cloth around the Haus to cover their creation until the day of judging. Ransom, Holster, and Chowder would be the ones hauling around the snow, while Lardo, Bitty, and Nursey shaped and decorated. Whiskey was given the duty of lookout, but as soon as Shitty caught wind of their plan he volunteered himself for additional security and sent a photo of a hockey stick with nails through the end.
âHe binged all of Stranger Things over Thanksgiving break and thinkâs that Harrington had a good ideaâ Lardo sighed, looking a bit apologetic.
***
The team spent the entire two days before the competition working on their setup. The centerpiece was the beer pong table where Snow-ardo was single handedly defeating two obvious Chads. Around the scene were a variety of snowpeople in drunken states, including a Snow-rsey passed out on a table, a Blizz-tty dancing, and such props as a tub juice cooler and snow pies. Holster wanted to bring the green couch out to make a sleeping Chowder, but Bitty spent the better part of an hour explaining the dangers of mold and dampened fabric, all while passing out the fourth round of coffee and cocoa.
In the end their entry spanned the entirety of the front lawn and porch.
Despite the indignant protests from the Lax bros about how they were portrayed in the scenery, the Samwell Menâs Hockey team was given a lovely trophy for their mantle and enough coffee to last them through the spring semester.
Honestly? I have always found this song to be both creepy and⌠erotic, but like I shouldnât find it hot, because it really skirts the edges of consent. But goddamn.
Anyway, I just heard this for the first time in a while, and you know what it reminds me of now? Jack at epikegster, up in his room with Kent but before the ultimate blow-out. Like, shit fuck he shouldnâtâdoesnât want Kenny there, but thereâs still that little part of him that does, and yetâ and how much is Kent excited watching the stoic squirm? How much does he enjoy having the upper hand for once (âagain? Unclear: what were their power dynamics like during the Q? We donât know yet, but I think at least at first Kent deferred to Zimms based on class dynamics alone) but itâs all wrong now, so why does Jack still feel like he wants to fist his hands in Kennyâs shirt and get skin-to-skin again? They kiss and itâs perfect, but itâs not, itâs notâ
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, Kent "Parse" Parson & Jack Zimmermann
Characters: Larissa "Lardo" Duan, Kent "Parse" Parson, Eric "Bitty" Bittle, Jack Zimmermann
Additional Tags: Haus Parties, Episode s02e07: Parse I, Episode s02e09: Parse III, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Skating
Series: Part 2 of When Jack's Heart Stopped
Holster Has Made Out With Everyone 5) Junior Year: Bitty
Epikegsters, man. Theyâre fucked up. Like, wake up in the wrong bed wearing someone elseâs underwear, possibly in the wrong time zone kind of fucked up. Every single (epic) time.
Holster has a good night at first â he and Ransom spend the evening wheeling volleyball girls (and accidentally, Chowder) with ghost stories and hockey trivia, and then thereâs the whole epic Kent Parson appearance, and the tub juice is extra dire. Lardo is magnificent, ruling the party in every possible way. Even Jack is more in the party spirit than usual, hanging out all casual with Bitty - thank fuck those two are friends now, it was no fun when they were feuding or whatever.
But later on, the vibe shifts. March and April head home early with Farmer because they all have practice the next morning, Kent Parson stalks out of the Haus looking like someone threw up on his Mercedes (not out of the realms of possibility) and somehow Holster ends up sober enough that Shitty sticks him with frog duty.
By the time he wanders back back from escorting Nursey, Dex and Chowder back safely to their dorms, the party has dropped to a dull roar, and Ransom has left a jock strap on the door as the universal sign of getting some.
At least he tossed Holsterâs pillow and blanket outside the door first, so itâs not a complete kick in the balls.
Holster heads for Jackâs room. Jack is usually OK with his floor being a haven for the sexiled, but tonight he doesnât reply at all to Holsterâs knock.
Fuck.
Thereâs quiet music coming from Bittyâs room, and the light is on. Worth a try.
Bitty, answering Holsterâs quiet knock in pyjamas, is red-eyed and miserable.
âDude,â breathes Holster. âYou okay?â
âOh, yes,â says Bitty sadly. âIâm fine. A weird night, you know.â
âYeah.â Holster waves his pillow awkwardly. âCan I borrow a patch of floor, man? Ransomâs getting busy in the attic.â
âOf course.â Bitty lets him in and honest to God, looks around as if he expects to be able to make a cup of tea or produce a pie out of thin air. âAre you hungry? I donât have anything in but I could pop downstairsâŚâ
Holster laughs. âItâs cool, bro. I wonât tweet Martha Stewart that you left me hanging for a snack.â
They sprawl on Bittyâs bed and watch a couple of episodes of 30 Rock, which is in Holsterâs opinion the best possible way to wind down after a shit night. Bitty relaxes eventually, letting out the occasional wistful sigh.
âDude, Iâm not Shitty or anything, but if you ever need to talk,â Holster offers. His itty bitty bro looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Bittyâs head slides down on Holsterâs arm. âI get a little lonely, you know? Not that â I mean yâall are great, Iâve never had friends like I have on this team. Itâs wonderful. ButâŚâ
âYou need a boyfriend,â Holster says wisely.
Bitty laughs hollowly. âThat requires someone to actually, you know. Like me.â
âAre you kidding me? Youâre a fucking catch, Bits. The problem is seriously finding someone worthy of you.â Holster is speaking from the heart here. If anyone deserves happiness, itâs Bitty.
âI know I shouldnât complain,â Bitty sighs. âBut Iâm nearly twenty, and Iâve barely even kissed anyone. High school was â hard, and now Iâm finally at college and out but it feels like Iâm never gonna catch up.â
Thereâs something else there, some deeper sadness haunting Bitty, but Holsterâs not going to push him tonight. Instead, he focuses on the one problem that he can fix.
âPractice on me,â he offers.
Bittyâs eyes almost pop out of his head. âWHAT?â
âHey, way to let a bro down gently,â Holster laughs, but not for long because Bitty looks terrified. âRelax. Iâm not gonna jump you if youâre not into it. But if the lack of smooching XP is stressing you out, me and my lips can help you level up.â
âBut youâre â why would you do that?â
Holster rolls his eyes. âBits. Youâre super cute and my friend, and I happen to be a fucking expert at lowkey making out. My high school years were kinda slutty, and donât even get me started on Juniors.â Huh. Hang on. âYou know Iâm hella bi, right? I mean, someone must have mentioned it.â
âNo,â says Bitty slowly. âNo, no one mentioned that at all. I didnât know.â
âHuh.â Holster thinks about that. âI guess I forgot to come out again after frog year. Sorry, is this awkward? Want me to go crash with Shitty?â
âNo,â says Bitty steadily. âNo, I think we should practice lowkey making out. Like, right now. Before I lose my nerve.â
âSwawesome.â
If Jack kisses like an angel, Bitty kisses like a dream, all shy and sweet and a little bit salty. This kid is gonna break hearts.