#endive

@dimitrendive holy crap they made a blog for them!

• Endive doesn't just want a chef; she wants an audience.

Every time you pull a dish out of the oven, you have to describe it as "exquisite," "divine," or "almost as beautiful as you, Ms. Endive."

She pretends to be humble but will make you repeat it.

• She is convinced that if your static clothing pattern doesn't complement hers, the flavor of the food will suffer.

• If Mung Daal is catering an event, Endive will make you stay up for 48 hours straight to make sure your appetizers are ten times taller and tastier than his.

• She is fiercely overprotective of Panini. If she sees you being "too nice and friendly" with her apprentice, she'll suspect you're a double agent for the Mung Daal Catering Company.

• She gives you a golden whisk as a sign of her favor.

It's actually made of solid gold and is way too heavy to actually cook with, but you have to carry it around to prove your loyalty.

• She'll occasionally look directly at the "camera" to complain about your cooking speed, then blush and tell you she was just talking to the "audience" and that you're actually doing "acceptable" work.

• You find yourself frequently "caught in a trance" whenever she's working at the counter.

Her massive "rump roast" is impossible to ignore, and you've become a master at pretending you're just "checking the oven's reflection" when she catches you staring.

• She claims to be on a "diet", but she'll order you to bake a "Thousand-Layer Chocolate Scream Cake" totally not for her and hides it in a vegetable box for her to eat in secret later.

• You are completely unbothered by the fact that Ms. Endive's size seems to change depending on the day (or the animation budget).

Some mornings she's a towering force of nature who makes the kitchen ceiling feel claustrophobic, and other afternoons she's barely a head taller than you—but regardless of the scale, she is always the most impressive presence in the room.