After a fast, 6-hour labor and birth at home, Shayna (a certified-nurse midwife) thought to herself as she was pushing her baby out, âhow can it be over already?â! She talks about utilizing the best of her âmidwife brainâ and experience: how to stay healthy in the pregnancy and cope with labor (even checking her own cervix at 8 cm) and when to turn it off so it wouldnât get in the way of what her body knew. In the true fashion of the midwifery model of care â the balance of information and instinct is what led to Shayna having a smooth, happy and healthy birth.
You worked in a birth center as a certified nurse midwife, what made you choose a home birth?
I chose a homebirth because it felt like the best environment for me to give birth in. I feel safe and happy in my home and I have always pictured birthing my baby in my living room, kitchen, bedroom âŚwherever, but always in my home. I also didnât want to get in my car in labor if I didnât have to âş
People often will choose a birth center as a happy medium between home and a hospital. Can you explain the similarity and differences of a home birth vs a birth center setting?
A home birth is unique to the individual â their scent, furniture, and artwork is all around them, making it a more individualized birth setting. The birth center is designed to feel warm and inviting for many different types of people. The intent of the birth rooms is to capture the essence of the home environment to make the couples feel peaceful and comfortable while giving birth.
Home birth can be a little more work for the parents. We had to set up our birth tub and prepare for labor with all the necessities, whereas the tub and other essentials are all ready to go at the birth center. When you give birth at home the midwife brings all the tools with her that would be available at a birth center.
One of the biggest differences is whether or not you have to leave your home. Birthing at a birth center requires getting in your car and traveling at some point. Birthing at home allows you to remain in a comfortable setting throughout the whole process. Â
However, in both settings, midwifery care is the same.
As a midwife, you know all the best way of preparing for a healthy pregnancy, birth and postpartum. Did you abide by those things of optimal nutrition, exercise, alternative therapies like chiropractic care and acupuncture? What was helpful for you?
Yes! I knew the advice I gave to women, as a midwife was vital to have a healthy pregnancy and postpartum recovery. I decided early on that I needed to take my own advice or I would regret it.
I walked 3 miles a day, 5 days a week. I practiced yoga. I meditated and decreased the stress in my life. I actually avoided social media because I found I was comparing too much of my pregnancy with others and that was bringing negative energy into my life.
Maintaining a healthy diet was really important to me. My partner was a huge support by preparing meals and making sure I was getting the nutrition I needed. He would also take long walks with me, which created a space for us to talk and bond during the pregnancy.
Did you do a childbirth education series for your husband to learn about the labor process and helpful coping techniques?
We planned to but did not end up making the time for a childbirth education class. Fortunately, Nate read The Birth Partner, which he found really helpful.
Did you have any fears or nerves going into the birth? If so, what helped you cope?
About midway through my pregnancy, I had some fears that I worked through with meditation and discussions with Nate. During the last few weeks of pregnancy I wasnât fearful and tried to welcome the upcoming birth.
Did you feel an added pressure of achieving the birth you desired because you are a midwife.
In many ways, I did feel pressure. I knew there would be many opportunities to discuss the birth with other midwives and friends who are very aware of the birth process and if I didnât have the birth experience I was hoping for, I feared that I would avoid talking about it. Rather then dreading conversations I wanted to welcome them and feel joyous when I talked about my birth. Â
Tell me about your birth experience.
I was 39 weeks and 1 day when I woke up around 7 am ready to make six meals to store in the freezer to have postpartum. I then had a baby at 4:20 pm that afternoon.
I had heavy menstrual-like cramps that wouldnât go away, so I quickly cleaned my house to distract myself and because people might be coming over. âş
I vomited my breakfast and my body began shaking, so I figured these cramps are probably not going away.
I got in the tub to help relax my body and instead things got more intense, so I laid on my side in bed for about an hour while still having contractions that were getting stronger.
I had tons of bloody show [vaginal bleeding that comes from the cervixâs capillaries bursting when opening] when I got out of bed, so I thought, âOk this is definitely somethingâ. I called Nate and asked him to come home from work. By the time he got home I was having frequent contractions and they were strong.
We decided to set up the tub and I quickly got in it. Once I was in the tub things went smoothly and I closed my eyes. My body just took over and I couldnât think about much.
At one point we called the midwife and she came over. I didnât want her to come too soon but I also hadnât realized that 4 hours had gone by in the tub and I was in the thick of labor.
When she arrived I was 8 cm and the baby felt low in my pelvis. My body began pushing on its own 20 min later. By the time Hayley came over to assist the midwife I couldnât believe it was timeâŚeverything went so quickly. I remember thinking this is great, just 3 midwives having a baby on a Friday afternoon and of all days â International Midwives Day! I felt so happy and lucky!
How did you know you were in active labor?
I knew I was in active labor when I felt like my body was taking over and I couldnât really think straight. Talking to Nate was really difficult and when I called my midwife I wasnât making much sense over the phone. I never really timed my contractions but I knew they were really consistent and strong for at least a minute long, and that reassured me I was in active labor.Â
Was your 'midwife brain' still on while you were in labor?
Yes and no. I took what I knew as a midwife such as laying in bed on my side when labor started, getting in the tub, having Nate rub my back, staying hydrated because I had vomited, eating food for energy, etc⌠I feel like that part of my midwife brain was on.
Eventually my labor brain took over. I never really thought about how my labor was going, I just kept going and let my body take charge. I even checked myself to see how far dilated I was and I remember being surprised because I could feel her head so low and couldnât believe that it was happening! So I just kind of let go at that point. I knew my body was doing an excellent job and I trusted it.
What did a contraction feel like? Can you describe the intensity?
A contraction is extremely muscular. Itâs as if the muscle is trying to work so hard that itâs pushing against you. I could feel most of my contractions in my lower back/side area â not back labor but more on the sides of my body. I remembered it surprised me how I felt them there.
The intensity just slowly increased with time, a blessing your body gives you. At the end the intensity was so strong I felt like it would push my body forward, so I was on my hands and knees and leaning into it quite a bit.
Yes, when I was in the middle of the experience but today, no. Iâve felt pain before when I broke my arm, or recovering from my finger having the nerve âsewnâ back together. But labor has such a purpose and I knew it wasnât going to feel good but it is a bearable process. Having tools to help cope with the contractions helped me to welcome them and let the process keep going. When I broke my arm, I was really scared and that made it painful. With labor, I wasnât scared at all.
Do you think pain in labor is a choice one makes to feel or no? Or is a personal threshold of pain tolerance?
I think everyone has a history of pain in their lives and how much pain they can tolerate. Every woman who experiences labor has an individual perception of the pain. I think women often compare labor pain to another form of pain they have felt in their lives and decide if itâs bearable or not. I also think fear can play into the pain of labor and make it worse.
With a fast labor it can sometimes feel like too much too soon. Did you experience that?
No, I didnât really feel like it was too much or I was too overwhelmed by it. I do remember thinking when I was pushing her out that this is it, its over? And how can it be over? I am so lucky.
What helped you cope in the moment? Physically and mentally?
I moved around a lot and that helped physically. I leaned over my bed when I had a contraction and it felt much better to cope that way. At one point Nate gave me a fan to wave in front of me because I felt so hot and it was a great distraction. If I had a big contraction, I would wave it faster. At the very end I moaned when I got a contraction and it was a huge relief. Mentally, I just let go and didnât think.
How did Nate cope with watching you in labor? Did he feel any fear at any point?
Nateâs answer: I actually felt pretty good during the whole process. There were definitely moments when I couldnât imagine Shayna dealing with much more pain or enduring labor for any longer but I just kept reminding myself that she was very strong and knew what sheâs doing. I also knew the best thing for me to do was to be a good supporter. I really tried to focus on being quiet and gentle and give Shayna the space to cope in whatever way made the most sense to her. I didnât feel fearful at any point. I trusted Shayna and the process.
Shaynaâs answer: Nate was sweet and quiet. He told me that I was doing really well and I could see in his eyes that he was really impressed with me. I couldnât help but think Iâve seen women labor so many times and this is the first time he is experiencing this and what an exciting and shocking experience that is. I remember the first birth I went to as a doula and I just stared at my friend giving birth, I was useless. But Nate was able to stay present and didnât seem fearful at all.
You pushed so effectively. Do you think this has something to do with having watched so many women give birth over the years? If so, how can a woman who is not a midwife familiarize herself to that same body knowledge?
Iâve seen women struggle with the pain of pushing and it stalled their pushing stage for hours. When I experienced it myself, I realized yes, it sucks but I want it over. So I pushed harder and felt her move down and I knew I could do it.
I would say to women that when you push, you might feel a lot of sensations, like the babyâs head pushing against your pelvis (not fun) but itâs normal and your body can do it.
What surprised you about your birth experience?
I was definitely most surprised at how fast it was (6 hrs total). I was also surprised that I gave birth in the middle of the day!
What did you learn about yourself after giving birth?
I learned that having a baby of my own was really magical. I was so ecstatic after giving birth! The quiet moments we spent together that evening with just the 3 of us was so beautiful. I didnât know I would feel so âin the momentâ after giving birth and I loved it.
How has your birth experience affected your coping with motherhood?
My birth experience was really great, so in a way I just kept going with those feelings into motherhood. I try to stay present with Willa everyday and just soak it all in. My birth experience was smooth and I try to remind myself as a mother to not think about silly things that could cloud ways to stay present and keep the smoothness going.
What would be your wise words to pass onto other women preparing for and planning a natural birth?
Keep it simple and do what feels right for you and your partner. Stick to a healthy diet, walk as much as you can, and keep your life clutter and stress free. Start listening to your body and trusting it. Also, eat 6 dates a day starting around 35 weeks âş
