#expecting

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It was weeks after the groups performance, Jiyong announced their world tour & BigBang was trending like never before. You were so proud of him, Jiyong did amazing during his time as a solo artist but you're glad he gets to make music again with his brothers.

Because of the announcement, Jiyong hasn't been home. After the flight back to Korea, already the very next morning he had meetings to go to and promos to plan. Which was fine, this was something you were used to. But as you sat there on the toilet holding a positive pregnancy test, you wished nothing more that he was here.

It's not like this wasn't planned, but after the incident back in LA you never asked him why and it honestly made you doubt if he was serious about starting a family. Your relationship was somewhat quick, Seunghyun introduced you both about two years ago. You owned a small Bakery in Seoul and he regularly came in for your homemade Danpatbbang to bring back to the group.

Jiyong asked for your number the same day, and the two of you were engaged a year later. He has always expressed his want to start a family, even back when you were just dating each other. You wanted that with him as much as he did so you both fit perfectly together.

You place the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter and wash your hands. Since Jiyong is not home you decide it's best to text him.

Y/n: An-nyeong Jagiya, are you going to make it home for dinner?

Jiyong: An-nyeong! yes I'll be home in an hour. Is everything ok?

This isn't how you wanted to tell him. It's best to leave it for in person.

Y/n: Ah Oppa you always worry about me :) . Yes I am ok

Jiyong: Ok Aegiya, see you soon.

You can enjoy the moment now, this was something you wanted & it's finally happening. You walk over to the baby room right next to you and Jiyongs bedroom, it wasn't decorated yet, you guys didn't want to jinx anything. But he couldn't help himself, before flying to LA Jiyong surprised you and built the crib, he expressed he wants a baby girl but he'll be happy with a healthy baby either way.

There was a variety of toys in the crib, some princess dolls and some animal stuffed toys. You smile at the memory of Jiyong picking these toys out. He was so excited. So what happened back in LA made no sense.

The home's doorbell went off interrupting your thoughts. You close the baby room's door and make your way to the front of the apartment. The security video shows Daesung at the front door. You let him in.

'' I haven't seen you since Coachella, how are you?'' Daesung traps you in his well known warm hugs.

After embracing you lead him into the kitchen, pouring him a glass of water '' I'm ok. Just glad to be home. I know Zoa and lye missed us''

The both of you glance at the two kitties sleeping peacefully by the fire place.

Daesung finishes his water & pours himself another glass with the pitcher ''Sorry I came straight from the recording studio''

You figured he hasn't eaten either so you offer him a loaf of your homemade Danpatbbang. Your bakery is still up and running but you're not there full time anymore, however you still make your classic Danpatbbang.

Daesung takes it with a smile ''Ah y/n , you always know how to make any day better''

Smiling, you take a piece of your own. The both of you now eating in silence, the record music played gently in the background. There was never a need to fill an akwarwarwd silence with the guys, you were never a talker in the first place.

Suddenly Zoa jumped onto the counter, Jiyong didn't like her up here but you spoiled her. Daesung already knew what she wanted, breaking a piece off the loaf he feeds it to Zoa who takes it happily.

''No more Danpatbbang for you, you're already chunky'' You sweep the crumbs that Zoe created off the counter.

Daesung stops you, and starts cleaning the rest, babbling on about how he's the guest so he should clean up. He was a kind heart like that.

He washes the rest of the crumbs off his hands in the sink. ''May I use the bathroom''

You couldn't help but to smile because of how polite he was, you point in the direction of the restroom. The guys still have to get used to your new apartment.

But Daesung found the bathroom fairly easy, he just followed the sound of the automatic litter box. A wave of panic hit you as you heard the bathroom door shut. You never threw out the pregnancy test.

In reality even if Daesung saw the test it wouldn't be that big of a deal but you and Jiyong agreed that when it was confirmed, the announcement would wait. The sound of the toilet flushing and the water running echoed through the hallway, and like you feared, he came out of the restroom holding a tissue in his hand. The test lay exposed on the napkin.

His grin was huge, from one ear to the another.''You guys are pregnant?!"'

'Shibal'

Grabbing the tissue from him you quickly wrap up the test, placing it in your back pocket ''Yes but Jiyong doesn't know yet. I am telling him tonight over dinner''

He grabs your hands jumping up and down, he might be more excited than you. ''ehh! y/n I'm so happy for you, Jiyong did mention you were trying''

So he was telling people you were trying? you didn't know that. It made you wonder when was the last time he spoke to the guys about it, maybe you read the situation wrong back from LA.

''Me too. And please keep this hush hush, we don't want to tell people till we're at least carrying for a month''

He makes a motion of a zipper to his mouth indicating he'll stay quiet. ''Well I should get going then, Jiyong should be here any minute and I don't want ruin this moment for you guys''

The evening went by quickly. You hadn't prepared anything yet and Jiyong was going to be home in 30 minutes.

You showed Daesung out and the two of you exchanged hugs. Now you had to figure out what to make.

Within 30 minutes you managed to prepare kimchi stew, you were impressing with yourself. The apartment smelt of the delicious dish. You and Jiyong were already on your second bowl. Candles were lit and flowers were placed along the table, as much as Jiyong loved the romantic atmosphere, he was also a little confused about the occasion.

Jiyong helped himself to another steamed egg, leaning back in his chair ''So what's all this? I mean it's wonderful Jagiya don't get me wrong''

A mixture of nervousness and excitement hits you but you push through it, The still wrapped pregnancy test laid to the right of you. Without saying anything you push the napkin towards him with a smile.

Jiyong watches your hand push this random tissue across the table, he glances up at you first to confirm thats what you wanted him to look at. You nod lightly

The tissue becomes undone, the double line now revealed, you watch Jiyongs face intensely.

He shoots up suddenly, scaring you and the cats as he knocks down his glass of Soju. ''Whaaa you're pregnant??"'

There was a sparkle in his eye, a sparkle you missed so much. Thats all you needed to confirm he wanted this as much as you did.

Speechless, all you could do was nod. Next thing you know you were in the air as he held you. Leaving kisses all over your face.

''I can't believe I just cant believe it'' Tears were threatening his eyes.

He finally places you down, giving himself space to sob.

To confront him you take his face in your hands ''You're happy? really happy?''

He kisses you, a long drawn out kiss. It was passionate, thats all he can think to do right now. Although you don't have a baby bump, he gently places his hand over your stomach ''Of course why wouldn't I be?''

He sees the flash of change in your eyes, right now was better timing to bring up the incident then any other. ''Well back in LA.. you..''

He already knew what you were going to say, with a sigh he takes a seat ''Ah yee . Honestly I panicked for a moment. Not that I was second guessing our choice but-- I started thinking the day before what if I don't get to see our baby grow up because of my career? what if I'm not present and our baby forgets me''

It all makes sense now, it was not him second guessing, he was scared the baby wouldn't remember him. You stand up and hold him close to you, his head laid on your chest.

''Jiyong listen to me, I promise you no matter what our child will know who their father is, no matter where you are''

His eyes previously filled with pain now filled with love. He held you closer like he never wanted to let you go, and he promised that night he never would.

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So, basically this is about 5 years before the events of the comic.

Ambrosius had noticed something was off with himself but elected to ignore it as a weird stomach bug or something. When the vomiting didn't end though he started to suspect, but was in full denial mode and just shrugged it off (though there was a voice in the back of his mind that sounded like the Director telling him ominously that it is exactly what he thinks), hoping that it was some kind of sickness going around (and drank a few ginger shots with orange juice and limes too just in case, I'll explain this in the tags).

After 3 months though it was undeniable, but he still tried to deny deny deny. This wasn't happening. No way this could be happening.

So, he tried everything to avoid making it as obvious as possible, and this in itself is a whole mess. He eats less, avoids interacting with the other knights as much as possible, and wears his armor more often that he should have. He knew the dangerous position he was in, he wasn't naive to that, but he could lie to himself for a little bit longer, right?

Spoilers! This action will have consequences.

When the day finally comes, Ambrosius' body was already basically telling him that something was wrong.

He panics a bit and is in a lot of pain, so he clumsily attempts to sneak out and takes his horse to go to the only person he knows who might be able to help him.

-

We go to Ballister's POV and he already has a feeling that something's about to happen.

One internal dialogue later, he hears knocking and opens to door to find Ambrosius on his knees and clutching his stomach, telling him that something's wrong.

After a bit of internal struggling he helped Ambrosius in after deciding that this looked a lot more serious that anything else he's done previously (and seeing him in pain like that on the ground almost had him a bit scared though he wouldn't admit it) (taken from the fact that the two of them always ask if the other person is okay despite them being bitter towards each other).

They're still bitter and make their comments and stuff, but eventually Ballister notices Ambrosius running out of steam faster than normal, and eventually he barely had the energy to talk at all, which had Ballister even more worried.

Eventually the whole thing happens, and while Ambrosius is vocal at first, he becomes dangerously weak and quiet near the middle and Ballister has to step in to help.

The baby is in a not-okay state, and was super quiet- like- Ballister wondering if she was even alive super quiet- even to the point where Ambrosius asked why he couldn't hear anything, so Ballister lied to him saying it was probably just exhaustion making him deaf, the baby was crying just fine (he didn't know how Ambrosius would react if he told him honestly so better safe, yeah?) but after rushing to bring in some (many) of his medical machines he manages to stabilize her condition and create a make-shift incubator.

After, when he's sure Ambrosius is fine- just dehydrated and a little malnourished- he takes some time to really register what the hell just happened.

The baby- or "Rose" as Ambrosius croaked out before he passed out- is his baby.

Duh.

Like, there's denying it sure, but c'mon. A simple DNA test would show him what he already knows.

Still, it's hard to wrap his head around many things.

Like, why didn't Ambrosius tell him? (Obviously he can think up a few reasons why, but still.) How far along was he actually? Ballister didn't even notice that he was pregnant until he brought him inside, so what had he been doing to himself? Is that why he hasn't seen him in these last few months? Does the Director know? Who else knows? Was he followed here?

.... Are the two going to be okay?

It took 3 days for Ambrosius to wake up.

He was still weak but Ballister helped take care of him until he had enough strength to actually answer any of his questions.

He only answered some of them.

The baby is his, duh.

No, he doesn't think anyone else knows.

If the Director knows is a maybe, but he's sure he hid it well.

He didn't tell Ballister because he didn't see the reason too (a lie)

He didn't answer anything about what happened to him to get like this, but Ballister’s a smart man, he can put 2 and 2 together.

Eventually though Ambrosius does see poor baby Rose and almost has a breakdown, but his pride wouldn't let him infront of Ballister. Eventually Ambrosius, even in his state, put on his armor (him and Ballister arguing and fighting about his condition the whole while) and eventually turned to Rose.

Ambrosius went to take her with him- but Ballister stops him, arguing that there was no where safe for her to be taken to, the Institute is no place to raise a baby, if the Director found out it'd be a huge mess, and the orphanage- from personal experience of the both of them- sucked.

Rose was also to fragile to travel anywhere. Her condition could go from bad to worse if they moved her.

There was a lot of yelling from both sides, Ballister winning the arguing my stating the cold truth that if she left now she could die before he even made it back to the Institute.

(Ambrosius would never admit how hard it was to walk away after that- though it was his own decision to go. He had been honest from the Institute for 3 days now, it would be foolish to stay- but it was ultimately the best choice, even if he stayed up wondering if Rose made it to the next day, or the next week, etc etc).

For Ballister, the hard decision came after Rose was completely stable, able to breathe on her own, and was relatively okay- just expected to develop later than other children perhaps, but an eye would need to be kept on her going forward.

He needed to decide whether he should keep her, or give her to a home where she'd be loved and cared for.

She didn't deserve to be thrown into a life like this, filled with uncertainty and fear, but the more he cared for her, the more days went by without him actually looking.

This was his daughter, after all. Regardless of who, where, how, or why, this was his baby. She was a sweet little thing and despite having a hard start to life was bright and curious in her later days. She had his dark hair and nose from when he was an infant, but had big blue eyes like her Dah. She was small, but she was determined, and he won't lie and say she didn't quickly become the apple of his eye.

Ambrosius himself wouldn't stay away, but he wouldn't ever dare go see her himself. He knew if he did, it would mean confronting more than just what happened in past few months.

But he would leave her things, clothes, toys, books, money, but kept a safe distance. (He also knew, in the back of his mind, that if he did see her, or held her, he'd never leave again. That's still his baby, after all.)

It took about a year for Rose to be at perfect enough health where she could be taken out of the house for some fresh air and sunshine (lord she is a pale baby. Don't throw her in the snow, you'll lose her). And it was in that time that Ballister would make his decision.

.....

... everyone in the land kind of sucked anyway, so why not keep her around? Just for a little while, at least.

Until he finds a good home for her, of course.

Just until then.

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There's more to the story, of course, but this is already really long and I'll leave it here for this ask for now.