#communicationskills

im like wayyy new into bdsm and stuff like that and ik u post sometimes with like idk encounters with men and people which u do that with. i just want to know like where u find safe people to do this with and like honestly just how to stay safe with this stuff in general i guess

tysm 🤞🤞

hii girlie 🩷 I've been saving this question until I felt like I had the capacity to answer it because it's kind of a big question! buckle up bc I have a lot to say :D

I spend SO MUCH TIME vetting the people I do bdsm with before I actually do anything with them. If I see someone online I'm interested in or if someone has messaged me and they seem interesting, I start by looking for mutuals (have they interacted safely with anyone I know and trust?). Then I look at things on their social media profile like what sorts of comments they make and how they post and tag and interact with other girls they've done bdsm with. I also pay a lot of attention to how they message with me and I like to spend at least a week just messaging online before meeting them in person. When they are messaging me, they can be flirty, but we are still strangers and I expect respect. They should encourage you to reach out to anyone they are currently playing with or have previously played with to ask any safety questions you might have (even an ex should be able to vouch for your safety as a fellow human). They shouldn't be messaging you every day asking to meet up or commenting on all of your pictures or sending you unsolicited dirty messages.

After they've made it past the messaging phase I like to meet somewhere public to chat and get an in person vibe for them. I usually like to get coffee or tea and I often spend 2 or 3 hours chatting with them. We talk about kink but we also just get to know each other. I've only once met someone for coffee and decided I didn't want to see them again, usually I'm able to catch red flags in the messaging stage of things, but I find chatting in person in a low stakes environment helps the first actual kink meetup go smoothly :) I'm expecting them to treat this coffee date like a first date, they shouldn't be overly touchy or flirty or sexual, they shouldn't assume I'll want to see them again they should leave it up to me to decide if I want more from them or not. They should ask me a lot of questions about what I want and like, about my boundaries and what I don't like, about my experience and what I'm looking for from them, etc. Usually by the end of the coffee date I know if I'll be seeing this person again or not. If they only talk about themselves or things they would want to do with you, if they only want to talk about sexy/kinky things, if they don't have thoughts on pre-scene negotiations or aftercare - things like that are all red flags for me!!

If they've made it past the coffee date and I am still talking to them, then it's finally time for a first kinky playdate 😇 I never have sexual intimacy on the table for a first playdate, and I make sure to have an explicit conversation about boundaries (any hard no's but also things I specifically want to and how I want to feel during the scene). There should be time set aside for talking about boundaries and setting expectations for what will happen, time for the actual fun kinky activities, and then also time for aftercare. Aftercare is so important, make sure anyone you are doing kink with gives you the after care you need :) I find that it's also really nice to check in via text over the next day or two to discuss how you both felt about everything (what you liked, if anything could have been better, etc).

#17-Defusing a bomb with three

Minus Cyno, theyre defusing a bomb yeah for some reason. Idk how to draw a mic headset for Tighnari so I just drew a mic stand with a speaker instead

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As writers, we often focus mainly on the stories we want to create instead of fully understanding the broader benefits of writing. Let's delve into why writing is not just for entertainment but also for personal growth.

Writing for Learning

Writing is essential for learning and retaining information. The more you write, the better you will recall important details that are crucial for your writing and personal life. Our memory can often be our worst enemy when we are easily distracted, but writing helps fill in the gaps and keeps us on track.

Writing for Clarity

Writing helps us keep our thoughts and memories organized. Journaling, for instance, keeps us present and focused on what happened during our day. This practice can help us stay motivated and achieve our writing or learning goals.

Writing for Mental Health

Writing is a safe space to express your feelings and thoughts, helping you sort through emotions without fear of judgment. This process can be incredibly beneficial for recognizing and managing your thoughts and emotions.

Writing to Improve Communication Skills

Writing enhances your communication skills, which are crucial for both personal and professional success. It helps you convey your message clearly and engagingly, which is vital regardless of what you choose to write.

Why This Matters to Your Writing Career

You might wonder why these benefits are relevant to your writing career. The answer is simple: understanding and controlling your thoughts and emotions constructively allows you to create characters that are realistic, authentic, and believable. Good communication skills ensure your message is clear and engaging.

Conclusion