A plaid on both your blouses. @sniffyjenkins (Justine Kilkerr) – 80

Twitter is eating faces like an angry chimp. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 61

Home sweet my own toilet. @SeoulBrother (SeoulBrother) – 60

A cover of a reggae song is like a photocopy of a penny. Also, I will take the heat for shooting the deputy if it means you'll stop singing. @EffingBoring (I. Ron Butterfly) – 59

Worth repeating: 'Organizing' your email is like alphabetizing your recycling. @hotdogsladies (Merlin Mann) – 56

Me? I'm wearing a tie to do work I could do at home in my sweats, in a place where anyone can interrupt me whenever they feel like it. You? @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 50

Me: "It's not bad. Sitting here. Judging eveyone." Wife: "It's AWESOME." @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 50

The church by my house has a sign advertising an "Easter Bunny Hunt". I hope they at least make the kids wear orange vests. @crispycracka (Christy Ann) – 48

I'll likely learn programming the same way I learned Cantonese, drawing, and banjo: Watch TV with my beer resting on 5 unread Amazon books. @hotdogsladies (Merlin Mann) – 48

UPDATE: Many say I should dump perl AND python in favor of Rails. At least, I think that's what they said. Their toots keep timing out. @hotdogsladies (Merlin Mann) – 47

I love unicorns if only because I think they are the next logical step in the fantasy turducken process. @awryone (Josh Donoghue) – 43

Never take psychedelic drugs & play poker. You've got a one-eyed Jack? Eff that, I've got a three-eyed two. NOTHING BEATS A THREE-EYED TWO. @gordonshumway (Jelisa Castrodale) – 43

Take that, popular annoying thing. @bcompton (Doom Nibbler) – 40

We're going to feel so stupid when we find out that pandas cause cancer and climate change. @indefensible (Indefensible) – 39

Instead of having a "Dealing Effectively With Difficult People" seminar, I've got an idea for settling conflict - I call it Thunderdome. @joeschmitt (Joe Schmitt) – 38

And They Will Know Me By My Instant Messages That Are Complete Paragraphs With Proper Punctuation And No Abbreviations. @toldorknown (Arch Stanton) – 38

Hon, could we talk about my lack of nunchuck skills AFTER we're done getting mugged? Now give the nice man the twenty hidden in your bra. @fireland (Joshua Allen) – 38

The internet was invented so that people could dispense advice they'd never take themselves. True story. @CcSteff (Stephanie) – 36

‘Roses are red. Violets are blue’. How does the rest go? Oh, yes: ‘Fuck you, Monday’. @sniffyjenkins (Justine Kilkerr) – 34