#ecdid

This blog aims to create and cultivate a community for those with more complex systems.

This includes:

Complex DID / polyfragmented systems [[ NON EXCLUSIVE TERMS ]]

Extremely Complex DID / Highly Complex DID / programmed systems [[ EXCLUSIVE TO OEA ]]

This blog is anti endogenic, pro endos are not welcome here either. This is a blog about CDDs, ntg experiences are not relevant here. Polyminds & supporters are also not welcome. Please research how the brain actually works.

RAMCOA / OEA deniers DNI.

You may send in vents, questions, culture is posts, or really anything related to the cdid /hc+ec experience.

Then I heard it. My abuser wasn't talking to me, they were commanding me. Training me when to be reactive, to be silent, to have no say, to have no reaction or the one that benefits them. Then I realised it wasn't just them, everyone around us fed back to them, nowhere was safe. More and more I connect the more extreme, intentional conditioning (almost programming at times) I notice. We are hierarchical and made up of layers and groups.

Our egg doner had a network people who she used as informants. I don't believe they knew but often they were legally required to tell her stuff, that included outing us.

Our egg doner is our processor who also practiced anti trans conversation practices on us.

She would never prevent us from getting to harm how ever she would use information against when she wished to, we believed this was planned.

She and her enablers would convince me that if I ran away or attempted to leave that me or my sibling would be murdered, r*ped or assaulted and trafficked in someway or another. We would continuously be brought back to her.

She would psychologically tortvre us. Whether it would be pushing us into the the porch in our underwear whilst it was snowing or watching us scream in pain.

She also attempted to financially gr**m us, may have gr**med or let us be gr**med in other ways too.

Informational tunnels I cannot stop. Passing everything to her. My parts won't let me say what was happening not after last time.

They knows everything, always watching, through WiFi and data bills, through teachers, therapists, psychologists and more. I knew she going to kill me. It's only a matter of time and if not the part of she's conditioned will do the job for her.

She's formed a circle, a group to better abuse me. None of them know, and I can't tell them.

She had me to bad it took me minutes to realise I was the one screaming.

When I escaped saw myself running back I can't tell if it's real. I know parts of me want back and can't let them.

She orchestrated it all planned it like a web. Her enablers lined up.