"You don't smell good" Thanks our programming that causes severe depression and rapid splitting/switching got triggered and we can hardly do anything but I'm glad you noticed how we smell ! (asshole) -Husker

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"You don't smell good" Thanks our programming that causes severe depression and rapid splitting/switching got triggered and we can hardly do anything but I'm glad you noticed how we smell ! (asshole) -Husker

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reminders for beta programmed parts and OEA survivors with sexual conditioning
warnings for talk of sex / sexual programming
Welcome to antiendo-cdid!
This blog aims to create and cultivate a community for those with more complex systems.
This includes:
Complex DID / polyfragmented systems [[ NON EXCLUSIVE TERMS ]]
Extremely Complex DID / Highly Complex DID / programmed systems [[ EXCLUSIVE TO OEA ]]
This blog is anti endogenic, pro endos are not welcome here either. This is a blog about CDDs, ntg experiences are not relevant here. Polyminds & supporters are also not welcome. Please research how the brain actually works.
RAMCOA / OEA deniers DNI.
You may send in vents, questions, culture is posts, or really anything related to the cdid /hc+ec experience.
Op is 17, MDNI blogs keep this in mind. Call me Enigma. Op is a complex, polyfrag, programmed system (our preferred terms).
Questioning and exploring potential possibilities: Partial/incomplete programming aka "frameworking"
READ WHOLE POST BEFORE RESPONDING SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO.
The purpose of this post is to note down what I've noticed before my brain eats it all again and see if anyone else has similar experiences, or if what I'm experiencing in sys is something else. Also because I find it interesting as I've always been fascinated by how our system functions and all that.
Disclaimers:
1: I am not directly/for sure claiming to be a programming or TBMC/ OEA / RAMCOA survivor. These are observations I've made within our system that has some similarities to accounts we've heard as well as stranfe happenings within our own system. I fully understand this may not be what's happening.
2: the term partial is used because if the hypothetical is true, nothing ever came of the potential programming, or it was never fully utilized, hence "frameworking,"
3: keep syscourse off this post and our blog. Despite the overall stance of this particular subgroup of the plural community, we are pro endo and consider ourselves mixed origins for multiple reasons. Any hate regarding this will be blocked at best or reported at worst. This post and our blog is not the place for that. Move on if you don't have anything nice to say.
4: in that vain, fake claimers can also swallow a full cactus. Any aggression will be ignored, blocked, or reported.
TW below cut for discussion of the above mentioned topics.
Putting this before the content warning because it is necessary: PLEASE be careful who you give resources to. PLEASE.
Cw: RAMCOA, drugging, forced splitting, abuse, programming/conditioning. Fuck idefk what else. Just fucking. Wow.
Finding out your abusive ex used the resources you gave her because she said she “wanted to help.” To create her own side system in your system to serve her is… wow. Like… it suddenly makes sense why the last three years have been a major blur, particularly whenever she would come down here and keep me with her 24/7 for… a month+ at a time, unable to leave. She built off of the programming we had already experienced and exploited it further to create… that. It’s genuinely fucking terrifying. I’m glad we’re finally rid of her, though.
I’m reeling just… discovering those alters and dealing with the flashbacks and like… idk death feelings. Be careful who you give resources to, I guess…

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
[Text: This system is currently questioning if they’re highly complex, please be patient with them.]
[Text: This system is currently questioning if they’re extremely complex, please be patient with them.]
[Text: This system is currently questioning if they’re programmed, please be patient with them.]
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Reality
Pulling out the subjective reality card again. No one truly has the same experience as anyone else. The world as we agree we know it is based on our shared perceptions. Everyone reading this has at least some connection a common reality (sometimes called meatspace, outerworld, Earthworld, etc.), but that’s not the only level of reality.
Systems with an internal landscape (innerworld, otherworld, wonderland) might share a perceived reality among their members, and the events and people there are still important, if only to them and their support people. Singlets can also have internal landscapes, same deal.
Psychosis is another kind of reality. People in a shared reality can also share delusions. This can happen when one person pulls someone else into a delusional belief, when systemmates have concurrent symptoms, or when a group comes into contact with the same stimuli.
Memories can be formed in any experienced reality. As such, those memories are real. There is value in differentiating between realities, but memories formed in a different reality still hold weight. Memories of every reality can be foundational or traumatic.
We choose to believe our memories regardless of which reality they originate in. Finding evidence of each memory in this reality is already difficult, and most will never be proven. We’ve made some hefty changes to our life and relationships anyway.
Even if we find out some memories weren’t from this reality, we would work through them just the same. We’ll dust ourselves off and change course. Living with multiple realities is still life, and life goes on.
Also the fact that any second I do try to open up or vent or talk or write about what I've been through, what I can remember, whatever. It just...It feels unreal. What clarity I had a few moments ago is pure fog. I feel dazed and lost and confused. I don't feel like me. I don't remember much. Forming thoughts becomes difficult. I forget so much and find myself unable to do anything. I hate how fucking effective it is. Cause I just wanna fucking get it out of my head. But I can't. Cause the second I do it, I can't focus or think or even remember what I thought so perfectly a few seconds prior. And I hate that so much.