#dorians

Macedonia: legendarily and culturally the Macedonians have always been counted as being of Hellenic stock, with descent being claimed from the Dorians who migrated fully into Mycenaean Greece in the late 1200s and early 1100s BC.

Alexander was described by Plutarch as being “ruddy” complexioned, especially on the face and chest. This would make sense if he had been, indeed, a redhead or red-blond, which is what both the Pella lionhunt mosaic and the Alexander Sarcophagus suggests. So having him pale is correct. He probably did tan somewhat, but I bet he was more inclined to burn.

It’s hard to know about other Macedonians; NGL Hammond assumed they were fair. Certainly, the figures in the mosaics at Pella are mostly red or red-blond, however they are somewhat restricted by pebble color. The Kasta Tomb (Amphipolis Tomb) mosaic with an expanded color scheme (it has blue) also shows them with reddish-brown hair. The painted frieze from Royal Tomb I shows Hades as light brown-haired (possibly dark auburn) and Persephone with the same shade. All that suggests they were probably European pale, but certainly, being outside, the men would be tanned (and tanned all over, as they exercized in the nude).

As for Hephaistion, the reason I made him so dark in the novel is that I believe his ancestry was Attic-Ionian, who were probably more along the lines of what we think of Greek coloring today: olive-skinned with dark hair and eyes. The ancient writing tends to refer to the Athenians as darker in comparison to, say, Spartans, who supposedly had a reputation for fair hair. In fact, in general, Dorian populations were lighter in hair color, if we can believe the ancient report, which is what led later Nazis to consider the Dorians “true” Europeans/Aryans, but not other Greeks. That’s nonsense, but the slight differences in coloring may be accurate. Certainly, when I moved to Nebraska, I was amazed at all the red-heads and blonds out here, compared to even Pennsylvania, much less Florida, where I grew up.

Anyway, *my* Hephaistion has olive-toned skin, black hair and eyes. What color the historical man may have been, we don’t know. There’s just no evidence to say. The man sometimes identified as Hephaistion on the Alexander Sarcophagus is wearing a helmet. There’s another along a short side, sometimes called Hephaistion, but it’s also been IDed as Perdikkas, or somebody else, and it’s a very generic looking face. Other than Alexander, I’m dubious of most of the identifications on the sarcophagus.

Photo:  Parthenon and its Doric columns.

🇬🇧 Doric A style of architecture used on mainland Greece and in the western Mediterranean with the plainest of capitals and a simple column with no pedestal or base and a distinctive echinus and abacus. The order was distinguished by being the earliest and simplest. The fluted columns had a diameter-to-height ratio of one to eight, and the frieze was alternating triglyphs (triple groove) and metopes (brow). It was named after the tribe of the Dorians.

🇹🇷 Dorik Dor düzeninde yapılmış yapıları ve ayrıntıları tanımlamak için kullanılan sözcük. Yunanistan ana karasında ve Akdeniz'in doğusunda yoğunlukla kullanılmıştır. Dor sütunları kalındır. Düz ve yuvarlak sütun başları süssüz ve sadedir. Abaküs adı verilen kare biçimli taş bir tabla sütun başıyla saçaklık arasında bağlantıyı oluşturur. Abaküs'ün işlevi sütunun sağladığı desteği yaymaktır. Dor düzeninde sütun kaidesi yoktur, sütun gövdeleri doğrudan doğruya zemin üzerine oturtulmuşlardır. Sütun gövdesi yalındır ve üzerinde, yukarıdan aşağıya doğru diklemesine uzanan ve fazla bir derinliği olmayan yirmi sütun yivi vardır.

375. Donny Montell - “I’ve been waiting for this night” Lithuania 2016

FUKBOI ALERT! FUKBOI ALERT! CODE RED! CODE RED! DANGER! DANGER!

374. Alex Sparrow - “Get you” Russia 2011

Lol i forgot RedOne wrote this song. Not his best work. 😬

Also, how random is the Russian ethnoballad intro, which apparently was only put in to pad out the run time to three minutes a homage to Alex’s mother? Too bad any inherent goodwill it builds is immediately nipped in the bud by a very loud and raspy “DO YOU FEEL MY HEARTBEAT EUROPE!!!” 🙄

Like Donny, Alex sets off the “DOUCHEBAG ALERT! DIAL ‘E’ FOR EVISCERATION!” alarms in my head, with arguably an even more punchable face? However, unlike Donny he did way worse (<3), mostly because it serves some reaaaaaaaally awful dancing along with it’s tepid beat. Oh well, it’s in the worst year of the decade and it isn’t Lena, so I can’t cut it any more slack than this, soz!

373. Tolmachevy Sisters  - “Shine” Russia 2014

Did someone say... Twinbeasts?

What a non-effort. You may have forgotten, but I’m here to remind you that Russia didn’t have a song BEFORE the 2014 deadline had expired because they were too busy annexing sovereign territories 🙃 So when given a final extention by spineless EBU officials (instead of you know, DQ’ing Russia because deadlines, motherfucker), Russia ordered house composers Kontopoulos and Kirkorov’s embalmed corpse to cobble something together in a few hours. This is what they came up with.

On the surface it doesn’t appear that “Shine” is particularly evil (it’s mostly just REALLY, really lame and lazy, since production standards were low for reasons I just mentioned), but it very much is. “Living on the edge / closer to the crime / cross the line a step at a time” Yes, this song is about the fucking CRIMEAN INVASION and more importantly it’s about telling Europe how HAPPY Crimea is to be a part of the Motherland and how of Europe should keep their noses out of Russia’s business 🙃 So why were people upset this got booed, again?

372. Kurt Calleja - “This is the night” Malta 2012

We are all allowed to have a few random dislikes here and there and “This is the night” is one of mine 🙃. I cannot stand it. For a electropop song this upbeat, it’s is helluva boring and anæmic, flat and monotonous, drags on FOREVER, never once being exciting. Amber (yes, that Amber) takes the spotlight away from Kurt, Kurt who has the about as much personality in his whole body as I have in my pinky toe. But the worst, the absolute worst has to be that STUPID FUCKING DANCE!!! That was their entire gimmick!!! Some silly footwork nobody gave a fucking shit about!!! That was totally worth losing Joan Franka *and* Sofi Marinova *and* Litesound and fuck, even Max Jason Mai over!!! 

371. Dorians - “Lonely planet” Armenia 2013

‘Dorians’ is such an appropriate name for this band for the physical appearance of its members showcases the various stages of the Grey Picture. 😈