#donghak

reading donghak articles and this is such an interesting philosophy compared to how everyone talks about food and love.

Signed, sealed, delivered — I’m an initiated practitioner of Jeung San Do, a duly-ratified disciple of Jeung-san Sangjenim and Taemo Go Subunim. At long last, the byline of slouching towards taejeon has been changed from ‘blog of a Jeungsanist catechumen’ to simply read ‘blog of a Jeungsanist’.

That’s me up there, yesterday morning at the dojang, receiving the dao transmission of the two most important mantras in Jeung San Do; a short time after standing with my right hand raised to make the initiation pledge — vowing among other things to chant the Taeeulju Mantra every day as well as offering cheongsu (clean water) and doing pogyo i.e. spreading the teachings. After nearly three months of continuous effort I am finally, officially, a worker in Sangjenim’s dao. As I’ve detailed here it certainly wasn’t an easy, carefree experience, but the payoff was worth it. One lifelong journey has ended and another one has begun.

I woke up early yesterday. Thanks to my brother’s careless machinations I had a difficult time getting to sleep, so my first inclination upon getting up at 7am was to figure out if I had time to go back to sleep. Of course, I didn’t. In the 2004 edition of the Dojeon, Taemonim says that “to study for the great work, one has to defeat the demon of sleep, demon spirits, and vengeful spirits” (Dojeon 11:62:1) and defeating the demon of sleep is sometimes a struggle for me on Sundays. But barnwork had to be done and, of course, it was no ordinary Sunday! We’ve switched the horses to their summer schedule of being in the barn during the day and out in the fields at night, which meant for the first time thus far we had to bring the horses in then feed them, as opposed to our hitherto usual practice of me feeding the horses in their stalls and then going up to the house to change while they get put out. It went smoothly though and I had enough time to shower, change, and smoke a couple cigarettes before we left around 9.

I had to smoke a couple cigarettes because I was so nervous. I had been led to believe I would be making an offering of cheongsu during the initiation ceremony and I thought there were a thousand ways that could go wrong. I was nervous about getting into a car accident on the way there, as well as the prospect of slipping, falling, or collapsing on the polished dojang floor. I was concerned about suddenly forgetting the chants on the spot, or fucking up the initiation pledge. In a word, I was worried. But we arrived on time a half hour before the chiseong was set to begin and everyone was happy to see me. The three main altars in the sanctuary (for Sangjenim, Taemonim, and the Taesang Jongdosanim) were decked out with offerings of fruit and beer and there were two large tables set out with offerings for the spirits and ancestors. The hearty smell of seaweed soup permeated the air. I changed into my dao uniform, fitting the top and pants over the clothes I was already wearing. The pants fit alright but the shirt was obviously too small — not unbearably so, but it was noticeable.

My girlfriend beamed in from Mexico over Zoom, my parents and aunt were there, and my two friends (+ the boyfriend of one of them) arrived just before the service began. My father was sceptical that my friends, who he thinks treat me poorly, would show up but I had faith that they would and was subsequently vindicated. The service was unlike a typical Sunday chiseong: there were numerous set offerings instead of just one, we only chanted the Sicheonjuju and Taeeulju Mantras instead of the typical set of five, there was a lengthy liturgical section in Korean during which my name was said twice, and after the other practitioners chanted the mantras for me I had to chant them myself, solo, over 40 times. I also stood up and made my initiation pledge, and formally received both mantras from Teacher Seok — although one of the scrolls was the Jinaekju Mantra, which as the Essence Mantra contains the Sicheonjuju, because it turns out the dojang didn’t have a scroll for just the Sicheonjuju Mantra.

After the chiseong was over and I was officially a disciple I was gifted a bouquet of flowers and we took pictures of me with the teachers, with my family, and with my friends. My aunt and mother left to go tend to my grandfather, but my father and I, and my friends, remained to sit around a table and eat the now-blessed food which had been offered to the deities and spirits. Neither I nor my father ate much (the food was a touch too authentic and, moreover, heavy on the seafood) but my guests made up for it by trying all the foods, or voraciously devouring them in the boyfriend’s case. Everyone made pleasant conversation while I listened and basked or, as well, went out to smoke a cigarette. I also sat on the front steps with one of my two friends and smoked after she stepped out to hit her vape. She and I have a complicated psychosexual relationship and I hadn’t seen her in nearly four months, so it was nice.

Eventually my friends left, a little while after Teacher Seok and I stepped into the atrium to discuss next steps (this is only the beginning of a new journey!), and I finally scooped up my own personal copy of the Dojeon. Teacher Seok had said in a last-rehearsal phone call on either Friday or Saturday that since he’d ordered the newest version of the Dojeon too late from Korea it wouldn’t be here for a couple weeks, and that I could just borrow one of the older editions used at the dojang until it arrived. Honestly since I was so hugely looking forward to having my own copy of the Dojeon that had been disappointing to hear — so I was surprised and delighted when the pojungnim produced a copy of the most recent 2016 translation from the basement. It is beautiful, and considerably thicker than the ones used at the dojang, with a lengthy introduction as well as commentary and endnotes. With this in hand, after final goodbyes, we left.

And later had to turn back around and go back 30 minutes later when my father realised he’d left his phone.

Because of that we didn’t get to eat at Joongmi, the excellent Korean restaurant I’d been longing to go back to, and we were subsequently famished when eating dinner at my grandparents’ that evening. To my great joy however my father took me there today and we had lunch — we ordered the exact same meals that we had the first time we visited like two months ago, and it was just as hearty and delicious now as then.

It was great to have (most) all my loved ones there; the only comparable event to this in my religious life, with family and friends attending, was nearly five years ago at my ordination as a Liberal Catholic priest. This momentous event — the final conversion in a lifetime of them — was similarly fitting to have everyone attend and I’m glad that they did. The pojungnim remarked that it was unusual, but welcome, to have so many guests attend an initiation, saying that at the last few initiations the initiates had brought themselves and no others. I was even more gratified upon hearing this. And of course there were other guests: my ancestors! Yes the ancestors were there in spades for me, the recipients of a fine table of offerings, as they saw decades of hard work and accumulated virtue pay off with one of their descendants being initiated into the dao — and providing them with a lifeline through Gaebyeok and into the Dragon Flower Paradise. Thinking of my deceased grandparents watching me, taking part in the festivities, makes the experience that much more special.

Although initiation into Jeung San Do is not centred around the forgiveness of sins, as I think I’ve discussed here before Sangjenim does indeed forgive all the sins of your life (and possibly previous lives?) once you initiate. The remission of sins was a major element of what drove me towards Mormonism and even though that impulse subsided a little with my descent into Jeungsanism I can’t understate the relief of forgiveness. Putting aside the fact that I’ve done things of which I am ashamed, I can see this as the occasion it is to live a more righteous, dao-centred life; ensuring that during Gaebyeok my heart doesn’t explode and my bones don’t twist through my skin. I’ve always been both mean and lazy but now I have a priceless opportunity to turn over a new leaf.

The day before yesterday I had a Zoom call with my teacher at the dojang. He has an official Korean title but I can’t remember what it is. He mentioned it specifically during our convo, probably as a hint that I should stop referring to him solely by his given name, so I’m just gonna start calling him Teacher Seok.

but anyways.

We talked about a couple different things: my and my family’s struggles during the stretch of time leading up to my initiation, the last section of the Dojeon (11:250) and my issues with it, Teacher Seok’s upcoming trip to New Mexico, and various housekeeping issues related to said forthcoming initiation. This period, my catechumenate, has been especially difficult for my family — we live on a horse farm and times have been tough; our spring camp (usually a big moneymaker) had to be cancelled, things are dicey with some clients, and the IRS just hit us with a $21,000 bill. We’ll survive, probably, but things are grim. The burden of my forthcoming $300 initiation fee for Jeung San Do — not to mention having to pay another $50 for a copy of the Dojeon + the expected monthly tithe to the dojang — weighs heavily on me, although it has gone largely unmentioned by family members and I trust they will find a way to fund it; at least I hope so, since I’m disabled and unemployed.

We did, however, discuss happier topics; mainly relating to the aforementioned initiation. Teacher Seok wants me to begin the ‘seven days’ meditation’ (exactly what it sounds like: 7 consecutive days of meditation) on May 1st so we can get it done in advance of the initiation ceremony on the 17th. During that time I’ll abstain from masturbating as well as doing drugs and eating meat for the duration, and the last three days I’ll abstain from smoking cigarettes. Initially I was to avoid cigarettes for the entire week as well but I blanched at the notion — the longest in years I’ve gone without cigarettes has been four days — and my teacher mercifully pared it down. Since those last couple days are going to be difficult I plan on asking him if I can attend the dojang in person then as opposed to the early-morning Zoom calls we have scheduled for the first few days.

In a further spate of good news I had been under the impression that this Sunday’s chiseong would be cancelled given that Teacher Seok will be in New Mexico, but it turns out his assistant/ex-wife (whose name I have no excuse for not knowing) will be conducting it instead. This is quite a relief: physically attending worship services at the dojang is important to me for my spiritual and mental health and I was saddened that there wasn’t a chiseong this week; now I’ll be able to attend as usual. In addition to the edifying nature of the worship and meditation Sundays are also notable for the time my father and I spend together. Although he doesn’t attend the service itself he drives me to and from the temple, and traditionally (although not always) we stop for lunch at an Asian restaurant on the way back. A couple weeks ago we ate at a fantastic Korean restaurant with massive portions that I’ve been eager to return to and my fondest hope is that we’ll stop there again this weekend.

I love steadfastness unyielding as autumn frost and loyalty strong as the sun’s fire. — Dojeon 4:13:7

In the great beginning, heaven and earth spontaneously opened. — Dojeon 1:1:1

First post!

Pictured is the sanctuary of my local dojang the week before my pre-initiation ceremony officially kicked off my catechetical period.

I’m 28 years old (29 in June) and am currently undergoing a time of study and worship prior to (hopefully) being fully initiated as a disciple of Jeung-san Sangjenim and Taemonim, otherwise known as a Jeungsanist, or a follower of Jeung San Do — according to my teacher we’re looking at an initiation date in mid-May if everything goes well (fingers-crossed!). What is Jeung San Do? I’m so glad you asked.

Jeung San Do is a millenarian new religion dedicated to the teachings of Gang Jeung-san; a Korean man who lived from 1871 to 1909 as the earthly incarnation of Sangjenim, the Lord of Heaven. His second wife and eventual dao successor, a woman named Goh Pan-Lye, was enlightened as Taemonim (the Great Mother) and continued Sangjenim’s work of renewal through her own decade-long ministry after His ascension to the Jade City.

What are the teachings of this religion? Well although I’m a catechumen and still learning the fundamentals — f’ex my teacher said we’re not even going to discuss the ‘eight dharmas’ (whatever those are) until after my initiation — I think I can enlighten you as to some of the basics, namely the concepts of the Cosmic Year and Cheonjigongsa. The Cosmic Year is a constantly recurring cycle of 129,600 years divided into four seasons: Cosmic Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter — the first two seasons being referred to as the Early Heaven and the latter as the Later Heaven, or the Dragon Flower Paradise, or the 50,000 Year Paradise of Immortality, etc etc. Where the period of the Early Heaven has been dominated by sanggeuk (‘mutual conflict/restraint’) the Later Heaven, of which we are on the cusp, will be characterised instead by sangsaeng — mutual life-giving and beneficence.

We are currently standing before the transition period between Cosmic Summer and Cosmic Autumn, the threshold between the Early and Later Heavens. This period, known as the Autumn Gaebyeok, will be a three-year span during which the Early Heaven passes away and the Dragon Flower Paradise is birthed. It will be a time of intense tumult. To quote Jeung San Do’s website “the impending Autumn Gaebyeok is that very time of glorious renewal for which humankind and spiritkind have so long yearned. Yet, the Autumn Gaebyeok is also the time when cataclysmic change will sweep across the world: natural disasters will strike the world, and the lethal qi of all the unresolved bitterness and grief in the human and spirit worlds will cause a great war and a mysterious disease that will nearly completely obliterate humanity.”

In order to prevent the total extinction of the human race during the time of Gaebyeok all the spirits, sages, and Buddhas formed a delegation to entreat Sangjenim in the Jade City, beseeching Him to intervene and save humanity. As the Dojeon (“Dao Book”) of Jeung San Do dutifully relates, “after hearing the earnest pleas and prayers of the spirits of sages, buddhas, and bodhisattvas in heaven, Sangjenim came down to the world in order to open a new universe and save humans and spirits from misery. He incarnated in an Eastern land where the dawning sun of a new future was to rise.” (Dojeon 1:11:1-2)

He incarnated into the world in 1871, in what is now South Korea, and had a remarkable youth. In 1901 He achieved enlightenment after meditating for an extended period at Dae-wun Temple, and thus began a ministry of reordering heaven and earth which lasted until His ascension to the Jade City in 1909; this ministry was the work of cheonjigongsa, “the renewal of heaven and earth”. Like His successor Taemonim, Sangjenim performed this reordering of the cosmos through individual “works of renewal” — ritualistic and shamanic acts influenced by Taoist magic and native Korean Musokgyo which worked to save countless lives during the time of Gaebyeok, as well as resolve the immense bitterness and grief of the Early Heaven.

I first found Jeung San Do in 2021, not long after I was kicked out of my church and religious order for saying harsh things about the January 6th rioters. As you might imagine I was spiritually adrift at the time (although I so often am) and was intrigued by a Facebook ad for a particular book published by these ‘Jeung San Do’ people, one of the few religions I hadn’t heard of before. From there I did a little digging and came across their website, and there I learned that, serendipitously, out of just seven dojang (dao centres) in the United States one of them was located only an hour away in the local Koreatown. An hour is a relatively short distance to travel when attending the church services of obscure faiths — altho my local metropolitan area has always boasted much in the way of religious diversity — and I thought it a bargain. I attended Sunday chiseongs (worship services) there for a month or so and was very taken with it. I felt that after a lifetime of travelling through different religions I had finally discovered the correct faith for which I had been searching.

Until…

I had a manic episode in the wee hours of the morning which prompted/was prompted by a crisis of faith concerning the Hwandan Gogi, an ostensibly ancient compilation of texts on lost Korean history which is held in very high esteem by Jeung San Do. According to my frantic early morning research the Hwandan Gogi was almost certainly a modern forgery, and I felt that if the Jeungsanists predicated so much of their views on ancient civilisation upon a forgery then their other claims were just as suspect. Anguished, I wrote a long 3am text to the teacher at my dojang explaining this, and then blocked his number. The next morning I remembered this and wept, and was very distraught. That same day I hung out with my best friend and attempted to relay my heart-brokenness over what had occurred, and to my shock and intense agony he responded with a long tear about how tired he was of hearing about my religious wandering and various travails. After he was done I sent him home, and that was it for my Jeungsanist experience.

And to this day I don’t discuss religion with my friend.

Fast forward about five years, to early 2026. Still wandering. Last year I almost converted to Mormonism; did convert a second time to the Bahá’í Faith; continuously explored an old project creating a religion based off Warhammer 40k; briefly attempted to set up a cannabis church, then a Lovecraftian occult order, while I was in rehab; returned to practicing Byzantine Paganism as I had on and off for years; and then, to my own surprise, a stint of involvement in a white supremacist religion. That last one was really scraping the bottom of the barrel in my religious pursuits and primed me to return to Mormonism — which, of course, I’d also been pursuing on and off for over a decade — once the missionaries showed up randomly at my house this past January.

Well, that didn’t work either. I got very close (passed not one but two baptismal interviews and had a date set) but eventually foundered on the rocks of Latter-day sexual ethics, which would’ve forced me to abandon my trans gf, and the Word of Wisdom, their dietary code which forbids intoxicants — all devastating to a bisexual stoner like me. Now it wasn’t like I didn’t already know I’d have to follow the Word of Wisdom and keep the laws of chastity as a Latter-day Saint; but knowing intellectually that you’ll have to make a difficult sacrifice is not the same as actually doing it when push comes to shove. It was during this difficult period as a would-be Mormon that my mind turned again to Jeung San Do. It was, I recalled, the last time I felt a bone-deep certainty about a religion… and it was also the source of that horrible manic crashout and its consequences. Among those consequences, I explained to several somewhat befuddled Latter-day Saints, was that I could never trust my own interior feelings on a religion’s veracity.

After all, I’d been sure once, and it had turned into a disaster. So, never again.

As my troubles with Latter-day Saint Christianity mounted my initial fond memories of Jeung San Do stayed on my mind, and I dug out my old hardcover copy of The Teachings of Jeung San Do; a thematic compilation of verses from the Dojeon. As I started reading it for the first time in years I was once again enthralled. I reconnected with the dojang and my old teacher, attended a chiseong just to make sure it was everything I remembered, and cut ties with the Mormons on 3/5. Since then I’ve attended the last 7 out of 8 Sunday chiseongs, have undergone my pre-initiation, and have been studying multiple times a week. I need to learn five mantras before my full initiation, and so far I’ve already got three down — not bad if I do say so myself. Having said that I’m dogged by feelings of hopelessness about memorising the last two, which are lengthy. Granted I felt hopeless as well having to learn two out of three of the mantras I currently know; so maybe I have a chance.