#bprd

Hellboy (2004) my beloved.

abe sapien used to be a rich occultist white guy in the 1800s and maybe he’s connected to some jellyfish deity. Hellboy’s replacement is a military guy who got cursed by a Bolivian jaguar spirit and eats people when he misses his acupuncture appointment. the gang takes in a telepathic mummy who was taken in by Abe’s past self’s rich occultist friends. the frog monsters from seed of destruction have joined forces with a subterranean race and turned earth into a walking dead meets pacific rim situation. trevor bruttenholm fought a nazi vampire plague on a rocket to learn more about Hellboy’s exact origin from a demon possessing a little girl. England has disappeared entirely. people are worshipping eldritch eggs. a nazi ceo in the most super-villainy outfit ever joined forces with the frogs and the subterraneans to make a new world. there’s a whole thing with monks and liz losing her mind for several months. johann the ectoplasmic man gets a temporary body and uses it to drink and fuck while his coworkers fight for their lives. one of the apocalypse survivors is a clairvoyant girl with genetic chimerism whose would-be sister is a ghost that tells her the future. the plot of reanimator happens. the apocalypse is here and it’s not hellboys fault. but that’s genuinely not even everything.