The Non-emergency 'Emergency Contact'
[⚠️] Contains: angst, themes of reader placing the blame entirely on themself, illness / fainting spells, ex-partner comeback. (A little softer Toji - given the circumstance?)
Summary: You: experienced a fainting spell at work. Your co-worker, Nanami Kento called your emergency contact as you rested in the company break room. Unfortunately, in all your fuzzy brainness, you forgot to change your emergency contact, you ex was about to make a comeback.
Author Notes: Related to my Fushiguro Family miniseries, based approximately a year before.
It wasn't anything crazy, really. You had just fainted from stress - it could've been far more severe. At least thats what you tried to tell yourself when you were riddled with anxiety. Your last memory was drinking coffee with your co-worker. It was almost a ritual for you both during lunch time. And yet somehow, you were laid on a couch in the break room, no Kento or other co-workers in sight. No coffee in your hand. No work at a desk.
You grunted to yourself, wincing at the harsh light as you pushed yourself forward into a sitting position. A blanket drooped from the side of the couch as you swung your legs over the side, hoping to convince yourself to stand up. The communication was cut short, your legs didnt want to listen and the door was opened with a nasty creak that made your head pound once more. Like hammers thumping you relentlessley.
"Hello." Your blonde friend spoke solmeny, quietly as he noticed your discomfort. He flicked the light switch off and offered you a cup of water and painkillers. You took them out of his hands gratefully, throwing them into your mouth and taking a swig from the cup. You could've gagged - hating having to take pills but it was either that or the ceaseless migraine and you knew which was more tolerable. "Are you feeling better? You worried me there."
"Could be better," You sighed, running a stressed hand through the strands of hair that stuck to your forehead. "I'm sorry, Nanami. I didn't mean to cause an issue."
Nanami almost scoffed, a playful roll of his eyes. He sat himself down on a chair just opposite to you, one leg rested over the other. "You didn't cause an issue, you worried me. I spoke to the manager, you're going home for the rest of the day. I also called your emergency contact, they said they'd be here in about 15 minutes."
You desperately searched through your mind in spite of the wandering thoughts, you couldnt remember who was down as your emergency contact. It definitely wasn't your parents - or your mother at least. You weren't even sure if you changed it after your...Oh.
You cringed, pressing the cup to your face in embarrassment. You hadn't changed it after the not-so-graceful breakup with your ex. You should've! after a year of no contact and getting over him, a stupid, mindless mistake was going to cause a massive inconvenience to both of your lives. You felt terrible for the whole ordeal, honestly. The breakup was a result of a combination of stress, family pressure, a total lack of healthy communication which conjured several fears and insecurities. You weren't so lacking in self awareness to say you never did anything wrong.
That being said, you definitely weren't ready to see his face, even after so much time had passed. Not from fear, you could quite happily admit your faults, but from embarrassment that you left the man who made you so happy over such ridiculous reasons.
Nanami noticed your hesitance, "Should I have called someone else?"
You thought about the question, contemplating on nodding. But when you thought deeply about it, you wouldn't have considered anyone else as an emergency contact. You weren't on good terms with your parents, you didnt have any other friends than Nanami (unless you included friends my association which would add Satoru to the mix). Ultimately, you would've had no one to change your emergency contact to in the first place.
You shook your head in response, even if it was confident. "No, it's fine. Thank you."
You debated. You could leave - but you weren't in the best physical condition. Your limbs were still shakey and your head swelled with with every beat from the headache. You could go to the toilet and wait for him to leave but Nanami was far too observant and would demand you go back home. Well, within all of your racing thoughts, the door opened once more.
Toji Fushiguro. A large, intimidating man who oozed indifference and confidence. Unrivalled, strong, and aloof. When you had first gotten to know him he was blunt, hard to talk to. But he was honest, never spoke in half truths. He said it as it was. Despite his large and well maintained frame, his touch was only ever tender with you. So, the, nervousness people usually felt in his presence didn't apply to you, especially not when he laid on the couch, you resting against his chest as he called you Sunshine and Doll.
You avoided his gaze, taking another sip from the cup of water and staring at your shoes as if they were the most interesting in a world of curiosities and curses
"How are ya?" he attempted to make conversation first.
You bit the inside of your cheek. "I'm alright."
Nanami stood up, grabbing his suit jacket and heading towards the door to make his exit. "They're still out of it. They've taken painkillers and had some water. When you take them home, guide them inside and make sure they get some rest."
Toji, with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his light gray sweatpants, nodded his head with brief acknowledgement. He turned his head to look at you once more, taking a step closer to you. "C'mon, let's get ya home."
He urged you to stand up, his hand firmly grasping around your arm as he walked next to you, keeping you upright until he got you settled into his car. The same old black painted car you remembered, a large vehicle purely because of his height and size. He learned over you, reaching for the seatbelt - you blurted out words before you could comprehend them.
"Oh - you don't have to do that - I can, it's fine-"
Toji, in a glory of brazen dismissal, raised his eyebrows in disbelief and continued to do the task, eventually walking around the car to get himself situated. "You passed out 'n you're still unwell. You worry about resting, I'll worry about the driving."
The car ride was awkward, quite frankly. Neither of you had anything particularly good to say, and you felt weird asking how things had been since the break up since you hadn't made any attempt to contact him before. He did try! But the attempt was too soon and you were too in your head.
The purr of the cars engine filled the sickening silence. Your eyes danced, from the driving wheel, to the dash, to the console, through the wing mirror, out of the side window, through the front glass shield.
Finally, you coughed. "I'm sorry, I know this must've been troublesome. I forgot to change the emergency contact and Nanami didn't know."
"Don't worry about it. Happened to be in the area, Megumi goes to school around here."
The mention of Megumi piqued your interest. Tojis son. An antisocial, quiet, but sincerely diligent man. Despite his father's rough edges, he tried. You enjoyed spending time with them together in the time of your relationship, you occasionally messaged the young boy to see how he was doing but you kept it arms length due to the... Situation.
"Right... I remember." you nodded.
The silence continued. Your fingers pulled at the threads of your knitted cardigan. You noticed a broken nail, most likely from your fall.
"How's everything been?" he wondered, eyes steady on the road. There was a time he was a dare-devil driver. Something about car racing. You always scolded him, but you noticed the care he took with you in the car and it made your heart flutter.
"Fine. Work's been... Well. You can guess." you sighed, "And you? What have you been up to?"
"Freelancing here and there. Curses don't rest, even on Sunday's."
You smiled, noticing your apartment building as he pulled in the complex parking lot. "Right."
It didn't take long for Toji to park the car, help you out of the seatbelt, lead you to your apartment and stand clueless at your door. You, however, found it to be an opportunity. An opportunity to invite him in, to catch up, to talk. You had particular expectations in mind, but you thought a chat would do you both good - any kind of conversation. It was much better than the dreaded awkward tension that kept building between you both.
"I'm off. Make sure ya rest -"
"Toji!" his swift attempt at leaving didn't escape you. But you were adamant about this. Positive. You reached out to him, fingertips tugging on his loose hoodie. "Come inside? I can make you coffee?"
Toji only gazed at you. It was as if there were either a hundred thoughts running trough his mind, or none, either way, the blank look on his face did not highlight the battle he was fighting. He turned back around, nodded briefly and let a small, raspy 'sure' slip out. He wasn't sure, if we was honest, but a cup off coffee hasn't murdered him yet.
You allowed him in, stepping aside so you could close the door after you. You were relieve to be home, your legs trembled just a little less. You saw him gazing around, he wasn't exactly hiding it. Well, you had to admit that your apartment aesthetic wasn't as well put together as when you had lived with Toji.
There was a dying orchid plant in the corner of the standing shelf next to a large horizontal mirror which had a layer of dust considering you never looked at it. There were used cups littered everywhere on the wooden counter tops, a small stained circle from the bottom of the cup was engraved into the corner next to the sink. The coffee table couldn't be seen amongst the stacks of paper and pencils and highlighters. Even the laptop was hard to see with a closed lid.
The walls didn't have any pictures. You were usually photo obsessed, always keeping pictures of memories. You still had some, especially of you and Toji, hidden in a box under your bed somewhere. You never dared to hang them up, you felt you didn't have the right.
You pursed your lips, flicking the switch of the kettel on, collecting two clean cups and using a teaspoon to toss a random amount of instant coffee in. You cleaned the food counter off, encouraging Toji to sit down instead of standing like a brooding ghost.
You leaned against the fridge, taking a deep breath as all the pent up stress you felt trying to insist Toji to stick around for a little longer finally slipped away. The rush to fix the not-so-small mess in a few seconds and the desperate search for coffee was not on your bingo card. But you got through it - somehow. You glanced at him, uneasy. He was sat at a chair, in your apartment and you weren't sure what to say anymore.
What could you say? apologise again for the trouble you caused him? that would be to repetative. Immeditely talking about the relationship would seem insensitive. You could mention Megumi - you did help look after him, afterall, but talking about guardianship of his child when you had parted ways for a significant amount of time was audacious.
"Was it one of your faintin spells again?" He broke the silence. Toji wasn't usually one to stick around or beat around the bush but when he met you, when he developed an interest in you, a lot of his impassiveness withered away. You were a warm candle flame in the harsh cold he experienced more often than not.
You nodded, "Yeah. I got so caught up with work it slipped my mind."
"You should be more careful."
"You been so busy you couldn't clean?"
Ouch. Your stomach dropped at the seemingly backhanded comment. "We've...been busy. A new project and its been more hands on."
"It wasn't -" Toji scrunched his eyes shut. "I wasnt tryna start anythin, it just looks different. Our place was neat, so."
"As neat as it could be when you left your weapons everywhere," You laughed to yourself at the playful comment, brightening up even more when even Toji had a small smile with raised brows.
"Even Megumi lectured you, something about non-sorcerers."
"He liked you." The hunk of a man sat up straight, looking at you directly, strongly, for the first time since he went to pick you up. "He still does. Thank you for keepin in touch."
You faltered. You never expected him to be so open or as easy to talk to as it was given the circumstance. You never expected a thank you simply for keeping in touch with his son. "I didn't really...just...didn't want it to be awkward for him. It wasn't his fault. Toji im really sorry about what happened, it was a mess, and i was wrong, especially for ignoring you after." You trailed off, not even sure what you were saying as your heart began to falter. Your feet shuffled, uncomfortable, anxious. The feeling of wanting to talk to him was less intimidating than actually doing it.
You finally poured the water into the cups and passed one to Toji, setting it on the counter. "It's wrong of me but, I dont feel like ive been moving on...I've felt a little lost since then."
Toji tried to gather the words to reply, but after a moment of not saying anything, you shook your head, scared, ashamed. Forcing a smile to make it seem light hearted, hoping the topic could move on quickly. "Nevermind, it's in the past now-"
You froze, watching your reflection in the cup of coffee in your hands, "Huh?"
He repeated himself in a slow, stern voice, emphasising each word. "I missed you."
Your mouth opened, closed. Still loading, comprehending his words. You did not expect it at all, well you didn't know what you expected but it wasn't for him to admit that he missed you after all the time spent apart, avoiding each other. Trying to heal but still longing. You swallowed nothing, air catching in your throat as you wavered, leaning back against the counter once more to stablise yourself, not wanting to fall to your knees from selfish relief. You repeated his words to yourself, as if a sacred gospel, he missed you.
You watched, still shocked, as Toji got up from his seat. He rubbed the back of his neck, ultimately stopping to stand just in front of you. His hand guided your arm to leave your cup on the counter so you didnt drop it. His hand was, like, twice the size of yours and it never ceased to amaze you. "Is it that hard to believe?"
"No-" you answered a little too quickly. "Yes! No, well, its just - its been like a year, and we left on bad terms."
"We were both shitty at talking," he grunted to himself, "Shouldn't blame yourself, i wasn't the best boyfriend an all. Im sorry too."
He pressed further, resilient, his need to apologise set in stone. "I do." His hand continued to hold yours, even when the cup was already placed on the counter. His gesture was secure, his thumb kneading the back of your hand. "The house is kinda cold without ya. I didn't really know what to do after so i just worked. Bed felt cold."
You scoffed, "All you care about is a cold bed?"
"No. I care about you not being around anymore."
The silence hung over you both once more, his thumb pad soothing the back of your hand. Instead of being uncomfortable, it was welcomed. A silence where you had both set down your thoughts, that you both missed each other, and you were both sorry for the way things ended. A silence that hadn't fixed everything but opened an opportunity to reconnect. Though, you did stare blankly, unsure of what to do next.
Toji took out his phone from his hoodie pocket using his opposite hand, his keys rustling as he checked the time. His eyes dancing over his phone screen and then back over to you, examining your face closely. It was only then when he noticed the dark cicles under your eyes. "Ive gotta get to work, but lets meet at that cafe ya like? we can talk."
You nodded, "Okay, I'd like that."
Toji nodded his head in affirmation, placing a too-soon but more than welcome kiss to the crown of your head. He backed away so he could exit through the door near the hallway by the kitchen. He didn't leave without calling after you, "Make sure to rest."
Upon his exit, your legs gave out leaving you to slide down the cupboard doors. Your hands held against your mouth, doubt riddling your veins. You took a deep breath, in though your nose and out through your mouth, repeated it several times and look at the door aimlessly.
You reached for your phone from the bag you set on the counter earlier, searching for Tojis number and removing him from your 'muted' list. You could never convince yourself to block him. His unread message left from years ago. You couldn't decide on what to type, having to delete the message several times before deciding on one, brief, vague message about asking him to tell you the time.
Toji Fushiguro, your ex, had kissed your head, showed concern for you, missed you. Maybe it was too fast, but your heart fluttered delicately.
There was no doubt, you heart still belonged to him.
