#dissociation stuff

It feels great to figure out who you are if the blurriness is distressing, but tell me- why does it have to give us such a damn headache?

Yay, I know who I am, that’s fantastic, but I can’t fuckin think straight enough to actually log any of the identifiers and shit

We keep finding new people left and right and our head just hurts

I know for us it’s probably because we suppress stuff a lot without thinking so the discovery of the system process is dragged out a lot, and probably always will be

yesterday we tried to sit down and draw but there was so much anxiety about how whatever we produced wouldn’t be good enough and theres no way we can show her anything because she’ll hate it so we scrapped the idea.. instead we’ll make another round of picrews and show her scarlett that way.. definitely feels better inside that way

but scarlett has also been nervous, and preparing almost for things that she can talk about.. wondering what she’ll be asked and what she’s allowed to say.

Obviously not everyone had a terrible time but

I often feel like a ghost these days

Need to walk through some graveyards again

i feel myself being more open and friendly than normal, and i realize it’s a different part. then just as quickly i begin to feel annoyed and bothered by our company, and i realize it’s yet another part, intervening because we’re letting ourselves get too close and comfortable.