#dispatch shitpost

Robert R @.user5318008 replied to your tweet:

Waterboy: O-Oh Robert? Y-You uh..y-you want me to t-talk about Robert?

Waterboy: *not noticing a commotion going on through the glass behind him* O-Oh gosh…

Waterboy: W-Well Robert is r-really kind!

Robert, behind the glass:*slams a villain’s face into a table repeatedly*

Waterboy: *smiles* h-he’s the kindest g-guy I know!

Robert, behind the glass: *now choking another villain out with said table’s leg*

Waterboy: H-He always m-motivates me to be be-better! E-Even when I uh…don’t believe in myself v-very much *nervous laugh*

Robert, behind the glass: *swings the table leg into another villain’s head, knocking them out*

Waterboy: A-And he’s really s-smart!

Robert, behind the glass: *being lifted by a different villain and carried from view*

Waterboy: H-He has a plan for eve-ev-anything!

Villain, behind the glass:*muffled screaming and staggering back into view with a horrific bite mark on his arm, staggering out of view*

Robert, behind the glass: *following in and out of view*

Waterboy: *cheeks turn pink* I-I really admire him! *smiles*

Robert, behind the glass: *comes back to the center of the room with a beer bottle and takes a huge swig*

Waterboy: He’s a r-really good leader! W-We all th-think so.

Robert, behind the glass: *throws beer bottle at a charging villain’s face and it shatters*

Villain 2, behind the glass: *Covering eyes while muffled screaming, running right into the glass with a loud thunk before falling over*

Waterboy: *surprised and looks back*

Robert, behind the glass: *gives a lil wave*

Waterboy: *waves back before turning back to the interviewer* S-See? He’s cool.

Waterboy: *blinks and looks back and sees all the carnage*

Like reader is actively working side by side with hero’s like blazer and phenomaman. They’re extremely well knows and lowkey famous. Reader is known for their insane super strength paired with their ridiculous charisma and character.

Reader unfortunately is put on babysitting duty when there begins being massive outbreaks of crime while the whole shroud debacle was going on. One thing leads to another and reader is grouped in with the Z-team for the following few days and Punch Up falls in love at first sight.

And it’s bad. The first encounter with you at least.

The first time he sees you is from across the flame riddled street among the piles of rubble and injured villains. You’re in your hero costume and beating the shit out of some chump who was apart of this sorry ass group trying to rob a bank. Something about you the light hits your worn form, or how fucking insanely strong you are, or the beautiful way you have with beating villains faces in, it’s all captivating to him.

He hadn’t realized he’d been standing in the middle of the active battle field like a scrub just starting at you.

It hits him all at a once as you begin to start charging at him. He thinks this is it. And that there’s no other way he’d rather go.

That is until he realizes that you’re aiming for the guy behind him trying to actively kill him.

Before he’s able to react fully you’ve already grabbed the guy and broken both of his wrists with a sickening crack so that he couldn’t hold a gun. Judging by the villains whole get up with the gun belts and and ammunition sashes you figured guns were his thing so you took the best feasible action of course.

And meanwhile Punch up is actively turning red

“Ya wanna fucking die short stack!” You yell at him.

“Not at all’ beautiful, not with a view like that.” He says mindlessly with a lovesick voice. Now it’s your turn to be flustered as he stares at you.

“If you’re gonna”- you interrupt yourself to punch another dude in the gut. “Flirt with me, then do it after the world’s not ending!” You finish.

“Of course beautiful!” He says mindlessly before launching himself back into battle, with more vigor than before.