I’m thinking about my Ghost Grandpa Bobby au again for the first time in a while, and I’ve talked some amount about Bobby being Robert’s constant cheer leader, but I also want it known that this man has zero filter.
I mean, he’s been stuck in a mech suit, unable to be seen or heard by anyone, for DECADES. After a while, you have to become your own entertainment.
Except now, he’s finally got an audience member for his personal stand-up routine! And poor Bobby’s not used to vetting his material.
Robert: *talking to Prism, minding his business.*
Bobby: wait a minute… Robert, is the blue half of her wig the wrong shade of blue? Oh my god, it is. Robert, I need you to ask her for me. Why doesn’t her wig match? If she’s such a popular figure, SURELY she has the money to properly color match her wig!
Robert: *eye twitching because now he can’t unsee it either*
Bobby: how light do you think Punch-Up can get?
Robert: I’m sorry, how light?
Bobby: his power is pictomancy, correct? He can control his density.
Robert: right, but he usually makes himself more dense, not less.
Bobby: but theoretically, if he can make himself lighter, that would make him even more impervious to physical force.
Robert: it would also make him fly around the room like a pinball if he got smacked.
Robert: *over coms* Punch-Up, how light can you make yourself?
Robert: *is doing PT in the SDN gym while Flambae is working out*
Bobby: he looks like a Cirque du Soleil performer.
Bobby: specifically from when I was alive to see them. An 80’s Cirque performer. He’s got the face of an acrobat who is pining after one of the contortionists.
Robert: *covers his mouth*
Bobby: sadly, his affections are not returned. So until he can get laid, he hogs the squat rack so that one day he can bend far enough that he can fuck himself. You know, to impress the contortionist.
Robert: *shoulders shaking* GrAnDpA, pLeAsE
Flambae: bitch, you dying over there or what??