#dispatch waterboy

Obviously that logic is flawed, Sonar does like him as a person, and Herman is still very attractive appearance wise. Just because Sonar finds boobs attractive, it doesn't mean they're a requirement for him to be attracted to someone.

STOP THIS SO CUTE AND FUNNY

victor: *just gave herm a whole speech on how he likes him and wants them to at least try and be together* so... do you accept this or?

herm: but i'm not— i d–don't have. b–boobs. tits. i d–don't even have... m–male. boobs. i'm f–flat.

victor: ...i can see your nipples poking through your suit. that's enough for me.

herm: WHAT.

he sees robert interacting with mandy/courtney and kind of just assumes they're dating or having this flirting banter with each other even though it's all purely platonic between them now. and robert tries REALLY hard to get another chance with herm because shroud is no longer a problem and he can focus on that.

but herm doesn't want to ruin whatever robert has with courtney/mandy. if he got a new girlfriend, it's fine. they've been divorced for years and their kids are already grown, they'll understand. and he's still very much oblivious to robert attempts at flirting with him and trying to get back together.

you lucky bastard /silly

herm’s hands are big enough to hold all the booty, too. you could have a flat booty, a fat booty, a [blank] booty and he’ll still be able to grab and squeeze! he uses it like a stress ball lol

Oh Herm would be a mix if excited and freaked out. He loves you so much and touch is a huge part of his love language, but he's scared to over step since he knows you don't normally like it.

He acts like one of those people who are afraid of cats when a cat sits in their lap, just completely still and letting you make all the moves yourself. He's going to cautiously move his arms to wrap around you, very slowly as to not upset you. He's trying real hard to not give into temptation and smother you with affection.

The second you start shaking, he's moving his arms away and asking if everything's alright, apologizing immediately. When you explain to him that it's just because you're sensitive but you want him to continue, he buffers for a second, before happily continuing to hold you and rub your back, a goofy grin spreading across his face. He thinks it's the most adorable thing, you shaking from enjoying his touch so much.

robert accidentally cuts himself and after herm fusses over him, he asks robert if he wants herm to "kiss it better". robert, of course, immediately nods because he's not declining a kiss. herm gives him a small kiss on his cut, before seeing it slowly disappear right in from of them.

both are so surprised they just stay speechless and look at each other in shock.

it’s waterboy x reader. Pathetic waterboy. NSFW. Go read chap one out now.

i actually had a post about it!

Him calling them guppies as well

aw!!!!!

(idk if it's a mistake but in my post it was robert calling their kids ducklings, not herm. but it's okay!)