#difficult patient

Me: ....well it's not like when I broke my leg so not a ten....I don't know I'm here so probably at least a 6 I think?

“Say He Kicked Face of Hospital Orderly,” Toronto Star. October 26, 1939. Page 38. --- Hamilton Driver Who ‘Raised Quite a Rumpus’ Jailed --- Special to The Star Hamilton, Oct. 26. - Clifford Pennington, who, police said, ‘raised quite a rumpus in General hospital,’ was sentenced to 30 days in jail today by Magistrate James McKay for drunk driving. Accused’s car struck a fence, according to testimony, and when police took the driver to hospital for first aid, he allegedly kicked an orderly in the face and swore at the officers.

Sometimes caring for the noncompliant patient requires a little extra caring. 

(This conversation took place while I was 30 in a residential treatment facility for bipolar which used the 12 step model quite a lot. I hate the 12 step model with the intensity I usually reserve for Scott Walker and the asshat who had the locker next to mine in high school) Therapist: You need to go to the Al Anon meeting Me: No because I don't need an assault charge on my nice, clean rap sheet. (Author's note: A special place of hatred exists in me for Al Anon meetings for reasons) Therapist: I think it would be good for you. Me: And I think giving me unlimited Diet Coke would do wonders for my outlook. It's about as likely to happen. (Sometime later, in which I was begging for a pass to leave campus for IV's birthday...) Therapist: Passes are supposed to be for therapuetic purposes. Like going to a meeting. You can go online to find one. Me: Do I HAVE to? Therapist: I would STRONGLY ENCOURAGE you to go. (Author's note: When they said this, it functionally meant you had to. But I watched Bill Clinton argue past vs present tense on CSPAN in my youth, and that's not what they said. Let this be a lesson for you kids about not saying what you mean the first time.) Therapist: Did you go to a meeting? Me: No I spent my son's birthday with him and all the people I haven't seen in two months. Therapist: You were supposed to go to an Al Anon meeting. Me: I'll go to the meeting this week here if you'll drop it. Therapist: You're supposed to go anyway. Me: And my father thought I was supposed to be an architect when I grew up. But it turns out I have no gift for math or physics so here we are. Therapist: ... Me: So are we good here? (End scene) (Author's note: these bargaining sessions happened about once a week for two months... clearly, I was a model patient... and a child)

Hell, I'll be there at 0735 just out of spite.