#didosdd system

To start, we have cdid, and a lot of our headmates are part of subsystems, we very likely have sidesystems, and overall its a big mess. Recently a headmate of ours has been grappling with the fact that he might be a subsystem because of how he formed. (several fragments fused, which is how a lot of our "introjects" form) This doesn't really make sense to me. First off, he doesn't really show defining traits of being a subsystem, between the several fragments he has all their personality traits simultaneously, not switching visibly, no changes in personality, no outside changes in anything. When we cofront, he doesn't ever change, and when we have blurriness its just Him and whoever else, not a part of him and whoever else. I told him the truth, that it's very unlikely that he's a subsystem, that we would be able to tell if he was, etc. He, of course, didn't take that well. Now half of the system is on my ass about how it's not my place to decide that (it is, I am one of the alters who holds all the information about our system, which others don't believe (due to me also being one of our main protectors)) and that I have to apologize, which I did but I remained firm that he's not a subsystem. He literally just isn't. He feels like one because he's a fusion of several fragments, not because he is one, and to falsely put it to memory that he is a subsystem (just to appease him) would likely put us back further in our attempt at recovery & functional multiplicity.

For context, the main reason this ex (19/20M, can't be assed to remember his birthday; we'll call him B) broke up with us (20M collectively) was because we "made him uncomfortable" by openly (read: to about 3 people including B) presenting as a system when we made our first syscovery (before our host (let's call him A) went back to full denial for almost another year because of said breakup) back in early 2023.

It's also important to note that 1) B was *also* going through a syscovery, though his started earlier than ours (and we have no idea if he still identifies as plural) and 2) we use the same system name now as we did then.

Anyway, the story. B reached out to us a few months after the breakup (A was still in deep denial) through Discord, where B drunkenly asked for his things back (a couple clothing items and a stuffed animal, I think). A wasn't in a great place mentally, so he blocked B and proceeded to bury that memory as deep as he possibly could.

Fast forward to today, where a close friend of B (and an ex-friend of ours who we're still Discord friends with for some reason) DMs us saying "You should probably give [B] his stuff back". We actually weren't planning on ever giving his stuff back, but now I (Adult, F, romantic/sexual protector) have an idea.

I feel like it would be a little funny in a petty, almost sick and twisted kind of way if, when/if we ever did get around to doing that (we'd have to actually find everything that B gave us), we sent it with a note saying "Here's your shit back. -[Our system name]". Would we be the assholes?

right basically, I have a sourcemate that goes by a different name than his source. not for identity/gender reasons, but because he worries about what people would think about his source name (it's kind of goofy and his original creator named him after a cartoon character, i get it)

anyways, the problem comes from the fact that we aren't identical sourcemates or whatever you'd call it, we have some different memories, of different versions of each other. so i tend to refer to my headmate by his new name and my sourcemate by the name i knew him by- to differentiate and kind of to show they're different people. he and i both know we're not perfect sourcemates, he knows that he's not the guy i knew. the issue here is that he takes some offense to himself being referred to by his source name. so aita for calling my sourcemate (not the fictive headmate) his source name?

aita for jacking off while another headmate is stuck cofronting

Hi, as title suggests I (25M) jacked off while my headmate (?NB) (we'll call it Heart) was stuck cofronting. We're both frontstuck, and the body is hypersexual / VERY hormonal. I decided to jack off to release some tension and Heart got pissed off because it didn't want to be around for that. I'm not sure why it's so pissed because it has ALSO jacked off in my presence when i didn't want to witness that, and it jacking off was my first introduction to it, so. we're awkward. help me.

so, context, i've been questioning DID on and off for about 4 years now (TikTok is what got me to research it, like ACTUALLY research it not just watch a couple of TikTok's lol) and a couple of months ago i realized i have some sort of protector alter after i got in a fight with my dad and they fronted. they had fronted b4 100%, but i always just thought i had anger issues, yk ?? but this time, i could literally FEEL myself be pushed out of front, like it was extremely disorienting and i could hear and see myself doing / saying things that I WASNT DOING.

anyways, because i have no communication w/ my sys, i didnt know what to call this alter, i had names for 2 other alters atp, sarah, whos a caretaker, and i have a basic idea of her appearance, and jack, whos a persecutor and again, basic idea of appearance. but this alter ? nothing, nada, no fucking CLUE

so, i have MaDD, or maladaptive daydreaming disorder, and in one of these daydreams, me (as in me in the daydream) ALSO had did, and in this daydream i referred to this alter as 'the angry one", and instantly i felt this SURGE of emotions that werent mine, like i felt SICK to my stomach, the feelings were so strong i got ripped out of my daydream. like i was just sat in the middle of my room trying to process what was essentially a psychic fuck you.

i realized pretty quickly after that that, yeah, that was a bit shitty of me, and ive been since calling this alter red, but i still feel like they hate me. i mean, idk for SURE, but im scared that they do.

so like. AITA ?

We got 6 new guys recently, all from the same source (calling them 🧡,🩵,💚,❤️,💛and💙). 4 of them (🧡,🩵,💚,❤️) are a friend group, but all the guys in that group all kinda hate each other (they have a complicated relationship 😭👍). Mainly 2 of those guys (💚,❤️), who fought 24/7 in their source, and they really really hate each other's ass. Anyway, 💚 got here before ❤️, and in general has a better relationship with their other 4 sourcemates- and when ❤️ came, 💚 started calling him "❤️'s disembodied voice". Soon all their sourcemates would do it too, which is 1. fucking hilarious cuz ❤️ gets so pissed off, and 2. deserved because ❤️ was an absolute dick in source. Buuut this resulted in a fight (as in. physical) in the iw yesterday, and even tho it's still funny, im not sure we should let them keep doing this. And im technically the host + older than all of these guys, so im pretty sure im the only one who can fix all this TwT

we’re from an anti-LGBT country and school. we’re collectively nonbinary, but we’re AFAB so everyone misgenders us and calls us a girl. most of us can deal with that, though some of our alters feel extremely dysphoric whenever we get misgendered.

we have had certain alters feeling extremely depressed and suicidal over being misgendered before, so much so that we literally split and formed a new alter just to deal with being misgendered at school. but, some of them want to go to school because they think school would be fun. we end up repressing them though and let the alters who can handle being misgendered front during school instead.

i feel extremely guilty for not letting them go to school, but i don’t want us to split again because being misgendered is extremely traumatising for some of our alters, especially when coming out as nonbinary is really dangerous. so, am i the asshole here?