#dhmis x reader

Red Guy:

-He is remarkably calm, but in a way that feels slightly eerie.

-When he first notices you’re sick, he’ll just stand in the doorway, staring with those unblinking eyes for a solid minute before saying, “Oh. You’re doing the... leaking from the face thing. That looks really boring.”

-His version of caretaking is very literal and low-energy.

-He’ll bring you a glass of water, but he might just leave it on the floor three feet away from the bed because "walking all the way over there felt like a lot of commitment."

-He will occasionally check your temperature by resting his heavy, yarn-covered hand on your forehead.

-If you’re too hot, he’ll just sigh and say, “Well, try to be cooler. It’s making the room uncomfortably humid.”

-If a "Teacher" tries to appear and sing a song about "The Wonder of White Blood Cells," he is the one who will actually tell them to shut up and leave so you can sleep.

-He doesn't do it out of heroism; he just finds the singing "too loud for someone with a headache."

Duck:

-He takes your illness as a personal grievance against his schedule. "I had a very important afternoon planned involving a coin and a magnifying glass, and now you’ve gone and caught a germ! How incredibly middle-class of you!"

-He will immediately declare himself the "Chief Medical Officer of the Household" and wear a makeshift stethoscope made of string and a bottle cap.

-He is very bossy about your recovery but has no idea what he’s doing.

-His "remedies" are nonsensical and borderline dangerous.

-He might try to feed you a "healing" sandwich made of raw gravel and grey goop, insisting it’s what the "professionals" use.

-If you refuse, he’ll get offended and claim you’re "rejecting science."

-Despite his arrogance, he’ll stay in the room with you, mostly because he likes having a captive audience to tell his stories to. He’ll read you the newspaper, but only the parts about him.

Yellow Guy:

-He gets very distressed and confused, often confusing your symptoms with something supernatural.

-If you have a cough, he might start crying because he thinks there’s a "little brown man" living in your throat and shouting at him.

-He will try to "help" in the most childlike ways possible.

-This usually involves piling all his favorite (and often sticky) toys on your chest to keep you company, or trying to feed you a bowl of "cereal" that is actually just buttons and milk.

-If his batteries are low, he’ll just sit by the bed and stare at you with wide, sad eyes, occasionally poking you to make sure you haven't turned into a "dead one" like the bird.

-However, if he happens to get Smart Batteries, he will suddenly become an expert surgeon.

-He’ll give you a detailed lecture on the molecular structure of your virus, draft a 50-page insurance claim for your bedrest, and then lose all that knowledge the second his batteries flicker back to normal.

All together:

-The scene starts with the three of them standing at the foot of your bed, just watching you breathe.

-Red Guy looks exhausted, Duck is wearing a homemade nurse’s hat, and Yellow Guy is holding a plate of raw, vibrating meat.

-Red Guy is the only one trying to maintain some level of normalcy.

-He’ll sit in a chair by your bed and read the labels of your medicine out loud in his monotone voice. "It says 'may cause drowsiness.' That sounds nice. I wish I felt drowsy. I just feel... gray."

-Duck will constantly interrupt the peace.

-He’ll march around your bed, taking your "vitals" by poking your arm with a sharp pencil. "Your pulse is far too rhythmic! It’s repetitive! It’s lacking panache! We need to spice up your blood flow with some jazz music!"

-Yellow Guy will then proceed to play a very loud, very off-key recorder right next to your ear because Duck told him it would "wake up your immune system."

-At some point, a "Teacher" (like a talking Thermometer or a bottle of Cough Syrup) will likely pop out of your nightstand to start a song about Diseases and Decay.

-Red Guy will be the one to physically shove the Teacher back into the drawer. "Not now. We're busy being miserable," he’ll mutter, while Duck argues that the song was actually "quite educational and had a lovely beat."

-Yellow Guy will try to make you a "get well" card, but because it’s DHMIS, the card will eventually start bleeding or screaming if you open it.

-He’ll look at you with huge, watery eyes and whisper, "I put my hair in the glue so you’d always have a piece of me."

-Dinner is a disaster. 

-Duck insists on "Gourmet Invalid Porridge," which is just hot water mixed with old newspapers and glitter. 

-Yellow Guy tries to help by adding "the blue part of the flame" to it. 

-Red Guy just hands you a dry cracker he found in his pocket. "It's probably fine. It’s been there since 1906."

-By the end of the day, they all end up falling asleep in your room. 

-Red Guy is slumped in the chair, Duck is perched on your headboard like a gargoyle, and Yellow Guy is curled up on the floor at your feet.

-It’s overwhelming and slightly terrifying, but in their own twisted, colorful way, they really didn't want you to "go away."

it kinda depends on what kind of teacher you’ll be, for example, if you’re good then.. they’ll mention the flaws of the other teachers and how YOU would do it differently!

yellow

You teleported in.. last you remembered was UNPLEASANT!

“Oh” came from the yellow puppet who stood before you.. you were (Reader’s nickname)

“Hi BUDDY!” You leaned down and in and he began to cry (mort lmao) you jumped back “CRAP!- uh- uhm!- you want a cookie?..” he stopped whimpering slightly

“..but.. you’re not holding any..?” You chuckle.. “Am I?” You reach behind his ear.. with your magic came a cookie with a worm on it? “Yuck!” You pat the worm off.. it screamed- and then you squashed it.. “pesty worms..” you sigh before handing the cook to him.. he gasps!

“how’d you do that!?” He exclaimed as he began to munch on the cookie “magic child, say do you wanna learn about magic and such more?” You smiled at the little boy he nods he may sound dumb and look dumb but he’s smart..

you began to sing “~magic may seem odd, or old, as a tale may go, for a jest or for A PARTY!~” then the music changes to Hollywood dream by Ayesha erotica

“So you came to the world with a battery and innocence!” You un-hatch the area for his rotted batteries.. he stared at you curiously, you were still going on “you say you want your name on a piano!” You said as you pulled a string down and the paper background of a childish attic was shown and you jumped in dragging in yellow

“you wanna learn with the extras, do songs everywhere, but ya gotta learn the perks. And crap theres a lot! Like, never be a teacher unless it’s for pretend, never break the fourth wall!” You glanced at the readers camera. Dark huh? I guess you’re one of those larries. “never go outside before sunset! Never drink anything that’s actually wet! Never display yourself unless you’re over 20.” The background changes to harry brushing his teeth he jumps back. “never touch the pink girl! And dont join the love cult!” You squash a passing butterfly with a fly swatter

“Never change your style! Never get caught outside by the woman upstairs!” You swap the batteries with a swift movement

He deadpans at you before you swapped them back “sorry..” you murmur “you can die but dont go far. Don’t go on a trip unless it’s for learning! Don’t talk to extras like you’re less, or even swap your batteries! Don’t get a bad hair do, don’t do magic tricks that are intravenous! Do get tests, and do protect em! And dont get caught! If you wanna be better go socialize, DONT EAT MEAT DONT SLEEP AND DONT ASK WHY!!” You grinned as you walked down steps of marble white and red carpet as you grab a top hat and yank out a poor meat can of duck and throwing it away. “Sell your soul for the magical career, Sell your soul for the magical career, you’re gonna be the next big KID!”

You pulled him up and walked up the steps and flashes of white came, you held a wand. You were trying your best to protect his eyes. “Sell your soul for the world! Sell your soul for them.. you’re gonna be the best one..” you murmur kneeling down to make a rose appear in thin air. The cameras go silent and stop flashing instead a huge stage light, beamed on the both of you. “..get all the confidence that you can” he stared up at you slightly trying to process your song, “meet someone famous like me! But dont say you love em too much!” You put your arm around his shoulder, he nods trying to keep Track of your information

“Don’t turn down gifts, and jobs, don’t talk to mobs!” You chuckled as you walked around a garden suddenly. He follows. “Say yes to stages, say yes to your friends, say yes to viewers! Don’t go to castings for open ca- don’t turn to cameras and break the fourth wall!” You smiled before jumping into a rabbit hole of cameras making sure to shield his body..

“do get your teeth done, and learn more magic! If the theme is bright go outside don’t shout!! Don’t go down without a cause, don’t tell anybody about your flaws. Excluding fears. Don’t talk to the magazines.. and dont get suggestions on your first tricks!” You hand him your wand and do gestures to test him.. he does so.. you sigh and moved on. “This is Don’t hug me im scared life ain’t for the moral, so you gotta be ready for tons of things!..” you suddenly landed on cushiony couches.

“Sell your new batteries for the magical dream. Sell your new batteries for the magical dream.. Sell your new batteries for the magical dream.. don’t sell your talents to be recognized.. you’re gonna be the next best person ever.. always sign on the wands, as long as you listen you’ll do fine?” You shrug as the tone fades.

“today’s lesson is.. The bad in magic!” You smiled

”the only way you can tell it’s good or bad is the source, good magic tricks are from actual ones! Like this!” You demonstrated by teleporting in duck and red. “this is real!” Red was confused “wha.. you saw me brushing my teeth.. that was quite frankly weird.” He said. Duck moved back a little nodding his head “yeah but who are you! What’s your name!” You chuckle “I’m (reader)! Of course, this day is about bad and good and how to tell apart.” Yellow nods “yeah guys..” “oh shut up!” Duck retorts. “Ok now.. let’s talk about fake magic!” You grab two cups do the classic trick.. and as you switch, you made sure it wasn’t noticeable as you lift the cups

the ball originated from the cup of the Left

and then that cup was moved to the right but the ball was moved to the cup that originated from cup right, and now at the Left. “Ok which one now? Cup 1 being the right Or 2? The Left?” You hum smiling. Their eyes focused as you kept swapping and turning mindlessly.. letting them have peaks.

“2!” Yellow exclaims “it’s one you stupid!” “one.” Red say in his bean bags that came from your magic trick. “it is.. 2! Yellow you did it! That’s how I know you’re magical!!” You yanked the cups up the yellow ball waits there. You snap your fingers and now that ball is a green wand

“this is my pal, he’s wanki, let’s call him greenbea! ok? So.. green bea is a great source for magic! then we got cheats.. whose late as usual.” You sigh

”cheats is a ’magic’ person. He cheats basically.. and easy to operate and get sometimes it can backfire.. like karma! Like what happened just now.” You said as a broken stick came in through the door next to you. “Brotherling there-“

you began your lesson.. no gore or anything. With the occasional song of addiction, cheating and heck you even tried to kick out a rabbit ifyk what I mean.

but in all end you got kicked out by the rabbit. And the lesson ended

“..I miss reader already.. they were cool..” yellow said disappointed

“yeah but they were lousy!” Complained the duck who held his newspaper up.

“I think they were cool..” murmured red..

“no they weren’t! They were pesky!” Exclaimed the green one in the living room

(I just was abt to do headcanons and instead did a whole story.)

Duck.

You were continuing on with the lesson and using your stick as a ruler. “But sometimes magic is used as an expression, for example!! ‘My cooking is like magic’! Let’s try and test that out ok?” You walk and guide them to another direction of the rabbit hole. It was a kitchen. (Also the rabbit hole is huge.)

“so what are we gonna cook? Any suggestions?” You said. You already went on with the first song.

“a cake would be suiting..” red grabs his ingredients or what he assumes is for the cake

“yeah a cake!” Duck yells as you approach yellow “and you?” You pat his head.. “..a cookie?” “That’s good! Ok so what to use for a cookie is..”

“I kinda like how far they’re lasting..” “nonsense.. you’re just thinking that they will. Watch one of our sinks-“ Then “already so our sinks won’t be like those grinding ones. Because we don’t have electricity.” The lights flicker. “..and this is a borrowed burrow.. so! Let’s begin!” You exclaimed

just as you walked over to a kitchen to cook..

(BROUGHT TO YOU BY DHMIS MENTALITY aka time skip.)

you were walking by the tables and tasting some of their food. Trying not to cry about yellows icing drawing which looks like scribbles.. “OH MY.. AWHHHHHH!!!! You’re soooo sweet.. now let’s try yours duck!” You walk to his cake taking a fork and tasting it “ohh.. yup.. needed some sugar..” you continue on.

later in the adventure you gave advice about the bad and good..

“so.. sometimes magic can be addictive, but however.. never use it for bad! Like this guy!” You point at cheats. “However…”