DHMIS reacts to their s/o getting sick
Red Guy:
-He is remarkably calm, but in a way that feels slightly eerie.
-When he first notices you’re sick, he’ll just stand in the doorway, staring with those unblinking eyes for a solid minute before saying, “Oh. You’re doing the... leaking from the face thing. That looks really boring.”
-His version of caretaking is very literal and low-energy.
-He’ll bring you a glass of water, but he might just leave it on the floor three feet away from the bed because "walking all the way over there felt like a lot of commitment."
-He will occasionally check your temperature by resting his heavy, yarn-covered hand on your forehead.
-If you’re too hot, he’ll just sigh and say, “Well, try to be cooler. It’s making the room uncomfortably humid.”
-If a "Teacher" tries to appear and sing a song about "The Wonder of White Blood Cells," he is the one who will actually tell them to shut up and leave so you can sleep.
-He doesn't do it out of heroism; he just finds the singing "too loud for someone with a headache."
Duck:
-He takes your illness as a personal grievance against his schedule. "I had a very important afternoon planned involving a coin and a magnifying glass, and now you’ve gone and caught a germ! How incredibly middle-class of you!"
-He will immediately declare himself the "Chief Medical Officer of the Household" and wear a makeshift stethoscope made of string and a bottle cap.
-He is very bossy about your recovery but has no idea what he’s doing.
-His "remedies" are nonsensical and borderline dangerous.
-He might try to feed you a "healing" sandwich made of raw gravel and grey goop, insisting it’s what the "professionals" use.
-If you refuse, he’ll get offended and claim you’re "rejecting science."
-Despite his arrogance, he’ll stay in the room with you, mostly because he likes having a captive audience to tell his stories to. He’ll read you the newspaper, but only the parts about him.
Yellow Guy:
-He gets very distressed and confused, often confusing your symptoms with something supernatural.
-If you have a cough, he might start crying because he thinks there’s a "little brown man" living in your throat and shouting at him.
-He will try to "help" in the most childlike ways possible.
-This usually involves piling all his favorite (and often sticky) toys on your chest to keep you company, or trying to feed you a bowl of "cereal" that is actually just buttons and milk.
-If his batteries are low, he’ll just sit by the bed and stare at you with wide, sad eyes, occasionally poking you to make sure you haven't turned into a "dead one" like the bird.
-However, if he happens to get Smart Batteries, he will suddenly become an expert surgeon.
-He’ll give you a detailed lecture on the molecular structure of your virus, draft a 50-page insurance claim for your bedrest, and then lose all that knowledge the second his batteries flicker back to normal.
All together:
-The scene starts with the three of them standing at the foot of your bed, just watching you breathe.
-Red Guy looks exhausted, Duck is wearing a homemade nurse’s hat, and Yellow Guy is holding a plate of raw, vibrating meat.
-Red Guy is the only one trying to maintain some level of normalcy.
-He’ll sit in a chair by your bed and read the labels of your medicine out loud in his monotone voice. "It says 'may cause drowsiness.' That sounds nice. I wish I felt drowsy. I just feel... gray."
-Duck will constantly interrupt the peace.
-He’ll march around your bed, taking your "vitals" by poking your arm with a sharp pencil. "Your pulse is far too rhythmic! It’s repetitive! It’s lacking panache! We need to spice up your blood flow with some jazz music!"
-Yellow Guy will then proceed to play a very loud, very off-key recorder right next to your ear because Duck told him it would "wake up your immune system."
-At some point, a "Teacher" (like a talking Thermometer or a bottle of Cough Syrup) will likely pop out of your nightstand to start a song about Diseases and Decay.
-Red Guy will be the one to physically shove the Teacher back into the drawer. "Not now. We're busy being miserable," he’ll mutter, while Duck argues that the song was actually "quite educational and had a lovely beat."
-Yellow Guy will try to make you a "get well" card, but because it’s DHMIS, the card will eventually start bleeding or screaming if you open it.
-He’ll look at you with huge, watery eyes and whisper, "I put my hair in the glue so you’d always have a piece of me."
-Dinner is a disaster.
-Duck insists on "Gourmet Invalid Porridge," which is just hot water mixed with old newspapers and glitter.
-Yellow Guy tries to help by adding "the blue part of the flame" to it.
-Red Guy just hands you a dry cracker he found in his pocket. "It's probably fine. It’s been there since 1906."
-By the end of the day, they all end up falling asleep in your room.
-Red Guy is slumped in the chair, Duck is perched on your headboard like a gargoyle, and Yellow Guy is curled up on the floor at your feet.
-It’s overwhelming and slightly terrifying, but in their own twisted, colorful way, they really didn't want you to "go away."
