#destigmatize

(Image Description: Top Image: A search where someone has typed “how to deal with ASPD”, the search engine suggestion below says the same.

one minute I’m your friend the next I’m gonna kill you

What being a system is actually like:

I found an old jewelry box covered in rainbow horses so I’m fixing it up for the little

fighting over shampoo scent, so we have both fruit and vanilla

why are there horses and stuffed animals on my desk?

suddenly I’m in the kitchen with a pot of boiling water and idk what it’s for so I’m making pasta

“who ate the last of my pasta?”

“I want tea” “well I don’t like tea”

ty’s best friend is my boyfriend so fighting over who gets to front and talk to him

accidentally denying that you know people the host has known forever cause you don’t know them

“I really don’t want to write this email will you do it for me?”

“where did we put the (insert missing object here)”

embarrassing nicknames that thankfully no one else can hear 

oh hey someone organized my desk and did laundry 

“why are we dressed like this?”

“can I borrow your stuff?” “no don’t you dare touch it”

I'm the girl from the questions in the last post. I needed to thank you HUGELY for all the time and energy you have used to clarify my doubts. I find it hard to believe how many dots were connected in my mind. 😅

Maybe it's more obvious than it seemed to me, but you explain with stunning clarity (I suppose you've had to do it many times). The difference between minutes before reading you and now is abysmal.

You have not used any inappropriate language, unlike me, and know that I have read you with great humility and attention.

I was interested and even moved, above all, for the third answer. I first assumed that if the DID was caused by trauma, then part of recovery must strictly include "returning" to the previous state of mind. However, and I say this as someone dealing with the consequences of trauma who doesn't have DID, that's impossible, with or without DID.

I think I also approached the non-human alters incorrectly. From your explanation I seem to understand much more, but just to make sure: since there is not only one valid alter, the same person can be Linda or Tom. But it can't be a stone. Now, you can have an alter that is, because not all alters fulfill the same function and it is more complex than that (I'm going to be very happy if any of that is correct, oh Lord).

Something that, I don't think, but I definitely approached incorrectly was the last question. From the outside, when, for example, family members talk about people with DID as if they don't have it and the disorder is something separate, an appendage that can be removed, they tend to refer to terms like that because, I suppose, they still see Tom as just Tom and they also assume that his mind works like theirs. My question has to do with that error, of course: to learn about others from oneself instead of the other way around. I am very sorry and I am also very grateful that you have corrected me so accurately.

I think my hypothesis was that, since each case is different, if a person's alters were, mostly, rather rough outlines for specific situations and not so "fragmented", so that the person maintained certain sense of identity, or the predominance of an alter, then they would feel more "intervened" in their identity than "confused" before finding a diagnosis. I don't know if it's possible, I think that's what I was trying to say.

From your explanation I understand that the "Tom" prior to the trauma would be as if not more fragmented, and my idea seems now like something out of a rather bad and childish Hollywood movie. In addition, without taking into account the DID, I don't know what link a child would have with his family in the face of such an emotional blow, whatever its origin.

I don't know if it makes sense or not, but perhaps I was thinking this: knowing that oneself is Tom, Susan's brother and with x characteristics, but at the same time oneself is Julia, and Julia hasn't spent that much time fronting, so does not consider that she has sisters. Thanks to your explanation and rethinking all possible alters as indisputably part of the same person, it makes more sense.

Thanks again, and sorry for my ignorance. I hope I didn't use any offensive terms this time, and if that is the case, I apologize in advance.

A pleasure to learn from someone so generous. I really admire what you do.

Regards!

I’m glad I was able to make provide clarity, I’ve done a tremendous amount of research and combined that with my own experiences as well as those of fellow systems as I find you tend to get the same basic information through google searches.

And trauma is something that tends to have lifelong effects. Therapy can help a lot, but memories and habits can linger, and even those with our DID will have omitted memories, and the brain does not let those come to light easily. DID is tricky because even if a final fusion occurred that person is at risk for splitting again, as it’s what the brain is used to and brains love patterns.

I’m not entirely sure I understand what you meant in the part of human & nonhuman alters but I shall do my best! We can get blurry, where multiple alters melt together, as well as being cocon. And alters that are inanimate objects can exist, I’ve heard it’s more rare but considering how complex and vast trauma can be I wouldn’t be surprised by it.

As far as families, many simply deny it. The abuse can be orchestrated or allowed by family members, and they don’t want to admit it, and even if they did everything in their power to try to prevent it and it failed, no one wants to admit that their precious little angel has DID, because they feel that they’ve failed as a parent and will be judged. And since so little is commonly known it’s easy for them to dismiss it as make believe, and say they would have noticed, when it truth people usually don’t unless you point it out.

And the feeling of identity is interesting, most people don’t realize what is going on and simply assume it’s normal. I thought everyone had lots of voices in their head. I thought that I just had a bad memory, and for years actually thought I was schizophrenic. Often times the host believes that they are the only one. And even when it was blatantly obvious, I kept avoiding it, because getting a diagnosis means coming to terms that what happened was that bad and that you were traumatized and that the people who were supposed to keep you safe failed to protect you. Yes, knowing what is going on your head is great, but denial is very very strong, because acceptance means that the version of reality you know is wrong and much of your past could have been a lie.

And considering the family of the body family is definitely correlated to how much time you spend fronting! I do consider them to be family while someone who fronts less may not.

Communists in the Summer House (2022) by Sarah Rae 

There are communists in the summerhouse! Give them some primrose tea, if you need me, you’ll know where I’ll be! 

Who else is riding the crimson wave? 

Get your bang for your buck.

ℹ️ A 2001 study finds that taking food with Ritalin does not make it work faster, 🔺it makes it work harder. 🔺 More of the drug gets absorbed and hence, it’s more effective, apparently.

My morning job is relatively mindless, routine-like at the kindergarten 👩‍🏫... I can pretty much finish everything without thinking. Meanwhile, taking Ritalin with 🫔LUNCH 🥗 instead of empty stomach right out of bed has really benefited my overall work in my second job. 🤩

My second job is 📚educational counselling 📝, and it helps to have better awareness of myself at that point. I only take 10mg because somehow my body seems to take rebound quite severely 😔. Not limited to headaches and fatigue if I take the 20mg pill in the morning. 🐒 I can always repeat the 10mg if needed but taking all of it at once hasn’t been great.😆

‼️ Don’t want to spread misinformation so please consult your healthcare professional regarding your personal medication.