also Sam saying it's an insult to John's memory for Dean to start idolising another hunter who has extremely intense black & white thinking about the supernatural feat Dean currently processing John's final words to him being that Dean might have to kill Sam. I think John insulted his memory all on his own there buddy. but Dean's physical lashing out at Sam had less to do with the anger at Sam's willingness to say that and more to do with Dean's conflict over his crisis of faith over John, his anger at John, his anger at himself for being angry at John, and his anger that he's alive at all.

I just want us all to remember that Gordon got turned into a fucking vampire (his absolute worst nightmare) and he considered his life over because of it and all he tries to do with his (evil in his pov) powers now is to try his besttt to stop the apocalypse (which he was Cassandra about) at any cost. That was his big mission. He could have said imma just have more fun hunting monsters for funsies. He could have said lemme hunt humans for funsies. He could fucked off entirely and just left behind everything he believed in. He could have tracked down more vampires if all he wanted was plain revenge. He did precisely none of these. He wanted to stop the apocalypse. How can anyone look at him and see unmitigated crass bloodlust?!