because parker would be scarily into knifeplay i think. well scary for hardison maybe—he’s like girl do your thang chase your bliss but also chase it with eliot i’m Not interested. because yes of course eliot is by contrast is Very interested. so sue him. but also like they go into a scene and and eliot expects there to be even just a tiiiiiiny bit of hesitation, just for the bit yknow, but no. he whips out the knife and parker’s all :D :D :D and he’s like “parker aren’t you supposed to be like.. scared???? like pretend scared. for the scene.” and parker bless her heart is like “but i like knives!!! and that’s a really cool knife!!!!!!” and eliot does think that’s kind of upsettingly adorable but he also has to do his classic eliot nose pinch because girl come on. can’t we at least Try. but also it’s not like he has a-n-y room to talk because he can’t pretend either: as soon as parker pins him against the wall and gets the knife out but not even against his throat yet(!!) he’s coming in his pants right there right then. cue parker you like krabby patties don’t you squidward face, her saying in her snottiest and most mocking voice “eliot aren’t you supposed to be scared—” and eliot just makes a bunch of strangled wordless noises before he finally manages to say “SHUT UP PARKER!!!” and parker just pats his cheek, kisses the end of his nose, and says “we’ll try again tomorrow :) don’t be embarrassed, sometimes you just can’t hold it in on the first try :) :)” and eliot promptly melts right into the floor. and then maybe he has to wrestle parker a little for her insolence (after he changes into fresh boxers lmao). real wrestling, by the way, not sexy wrestling. unfortunately for him parker loves this and she’s just cackling wildly as they go at each other. meanwhile hardison’s suffering in the living room and he yells “have your freaky knife sex quieter i’m trying to watch a film!!!!!!!” and then when parker and eliot emerge from the bedroom a few minutes later all flushed and disheveled and a little sweaty eliot’s like “you could go somewhere else, yknow,” and parker’s like “we didn’t even have sex!! eliot came before we could :D” and eliot’s like kill me kill me now as hardison cracks the hell up and swears up and down that they’re the two goddamn goofiest fools on the planet and he loves them to bits And to pieces (parker is thrilled and takes a flying leap to join him on the couch and snuggle him to death, eliot acts like he’s not thrilled but he is and eventually he gets on the couch too and they all finish hardison’s movie together yay<3)

See at first I would say Parker easily, but then I got thinking about the premise of Taskmaster and now I'm not so sure. I could see it going to anyone really.

and the whole time as he’s groggy and foggy and slow he’s soooooooo clingy and lovey, and i’d say it’s “even more than usual” but he’s already very clingy and lovey as it is—the thing that’s different is how openly needy he is about it. he whines softly when hardison tries to pull even the tiniest bit out of a hug just so he can reach for eliot’s next dose of pills, and he purrs plaintively when parker takes a hand out of his hair for a mere second just so she can get him his glass for a drink of water. he likes to be held aaaalllllll the way with p&h’s arms wrapped fully around him like he’s a big baby, and he keeps his face buried in their throats so he’s as hidden in them as he can be. and instead of complaining even for show when p&h coo over him and call him honey and puppy and tell him how sweet and sleepy he is and how much they love when he gets all soft and squishy like this he just soaks it all up and drinks it down until he’s full and then some. no one’s babied him like this since his ma, and if he’s honest?? it feels good. real good. it’s nice to have someone else worry about and take care of things for a change. parker and hardison order him takeout and they rub his back and they tuck him in under comfy blankets while they put on his favorite movies, and he knows he’s supposed to be big bad scary grrrrrr bark bark i’ll rip you in half, but… it’s nice to feel soft sometimes. and he knows he’s safe to feel like that too with parker and hardison. they won’t take advantage of his vulnerability, and they won’t make fun of him when he clearly likes being called “honey pumpkin puppy” (parker’s invention that hardison immediately adopts), or when he can’t help but make a tiny protesting noise for more kissies when it seems like one (or both) of them might stop. they’ll just make sure he’s protected, and they’ll call him honey pumpkin puppy until they’re blue in the face, and they’ll give him all the kissies he could ever need. for once he doesn’t have to power through the pain—he’s got the luxury of taking his time with resting and recovering. and as foreign as that feels, it’s also really, really goddamn nice.

(edit: this has also been freshened-up a smidge and posted on AO3 😇)