#dazwritesndrabbles

Tim: a moment on the hips forever on the- fuck, i messed up the quote. Anyways, you're fat.

Jason, with a middle finger already up: id say kill yourself but your shitty immune system already tries to everyday

Bruce, sobbing because how could they be so mean to each other but hes an only child he just doesnt get it:

Dick, passing him on patrol: god you take up the entire skyline go on a diet

Tim: jay? You busy?

Jason: probably but that wont stop you

Tim, tears in his eyes: you know I dont mean it right? When I bodyshame you? I love you

Jason, nodding because this happens at least once a month: i know timbo

Damian: I dont understand why they call you fat, but if you are and I dont see it then I hear the keto diets effective

pre-warning a lot of this is my own interpretation of his character and im an egotistical bitch so i'm not taking criticism if you have a problem then say it to my face ok love u enjoy my rant

OK look yeah sure he raised Bruce to the best of his abilities for a traumatised boy that was thrown upon him but how much of an excuse is that. Alfred Pennyworth abandoned his daughter for his job with the Waynes. Alfred Pennyworth is, quite literally and canonically, a murderer. How the hell is Bruce demonised more than a guy who doesn't care who he kills? I'm sorry but I think Alfred would have left the second Martha and Thomas died if they hadn't explicitly left Bruce to him in the will. WOAHHHH WHO SAID THAT me mf i said that Alfred doesn't give a shit he wants a paycheque

Like come on he has most definitely - used some sort of physical discipline on Bruce - or belittled his trauma - or made Bruce grow up too fast - or blamed him for harassment from the media and other elites of Gotham - or ignored bullying for character-building - or refused to show any affection for Bruce

but thats just my two cents

“Feeling like him a bit, but no. Just me, Bud,” Clark responded, not looking up from where he was, almost skin-to-skin with the left cage of Bruce’s ribs as he sewed the man up, “Nasty gash, B, but I think I’ve gotten it pretty well done. Those night classes sure paid off, huh?”

“I don’t remember… How I got here.”

“I’m not sure either, B, just that you was on my balcony bleeding and crying.”

Bruce paused, brows furrowed, “Crying?”

“Talking about some… rules. Which makes me think we need a discussion because as far as I know you have one main rule and that’s to… you know…” Clark trailed off, staring dazed at Bruce's torn flesh.

“I didn’t. I wouldn’t. It wasn’t about that.”

“Okay, I’m glad. You really had me going.” Clark sighed as he tied off the stitches, “So, what was you on about then?”

Bruce couldn't answer. His mind was preoccupied with one thing:

“You still helped me? Even though you thought I killed someone?” the young vigilante asked.

“Hard to say when I would stop helping you, Bruce. I don't think there is a limit.”

“Everybody has a limit.”

This is now up on my ao3!

Talia on a piece of parchment thats been handcrafted: Beloved, Baba has forbidden me contact with anyone but servants AND taken all of my pens and paper. No Lazarus Pit can revive that man once I get my hands on him. If you dont get this, I'm dismantling the league and joining your mission to spite him and killing this carrier pigeon for failing. It is Baba's fault for raising me.

Bruce, who's used to this after his time in the league: yeah ok got the bird so dont kill him. Probably dont kill Ra's as well lol. He changed his hiding spots again?

Talia, on a piece of considerably better paper but the ink is khol: I FOUND PAPER BUT HE BROKE ALL OF THE PENS

Bruce, a white boy: What did you even do

'Sir? Sir, you haven't checked in in almost two hours, are you in need of assistance? Are the entourage with you?'

“Alfie?” Bruce whimpered, “I- I don't know where- I'm in the city but I don't know.”

“Master Bruce?”

“Are you really real, Alfie? I- I hear you i-in this hat.” a sniffled, “Alfie ‘m so cold.”

“Master Dick, enough of these jokes- What channel is Master Bruce on?”

“Alfie please.”

or

For reasons unknown to the Justice League, magic has taken Bruce's memory and put him back to where he was at five years old. Until the magic users return from wherever they are, the Batfamily and the JL must deal with a five year old who wants his parents and doesn't know just how much his life has unravelled.

Like yeah the birds are all smart but Dami is Bruce's offspring he inherited every single bit of Bruce's insane habits and yearning tendencies for knowledge

Bruce, sighing: i know that you /can/ but should you really try to have seven majors at once in uni?

Damian, ferally signing up to as many as possible as he perfects time travel and/or self-cloning to be able to attend them: father I am simply looking to expand my knowledge.. should I start on your applications as well?

Bruce, pulling up a chair: god no, I can't sit in a stuffy class that long, I'll just go on another expedition with that time machine of yours

Damian: understandable, father