Paladin: Can you do something for me?
Rogue: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene, and take the blame for it.
Paladin: Can you do the dishes?
Rogue: *already leaving the room* No.

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Paladin: Can you do something for me?
Rogue: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene, and take the blame for it.
Paladin: Can you do the dishes?
Rogue: *already leaving the room* No.

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Fighter: I live for two reasons.
Monk: And those would be?
Fighter: I was born and I haven't died yet.
Fate may be in the hands of the gods, but these hands of god are about to throw down! ~Paladin
Paladin: Who's the Leader here, me or you?
Paladin: Wait, it's me?
Paladin: Shit.
Sorcerer: Honestly, I'm just so evil. So full of darkness. I feed off the souls of the living, I strike fear into-
Cleric: Sorcerer, you sleep with a teddy bear.
Sorcerer: He's my secOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

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Artificer: Scientists can now turn stress into energy!
Rogue:
(https://interestingengineering.com/scientists-can-now-transform-stress-into-electricity)
Cleric: Hey Warlock, did you know that all words ending in -ie are sweet, like cookie and cutie-
Warlock: and Die.
Cleric: ...
Cleric: No Warlock.
Wizard: Barbarian doesn't have a life plan. They don’t have a day plan. I once found a note they wrote to themself that said ‘Put on pants.’
Wizard: It was followed by a question mark.