#dndclassesquotes

Paladin: How did you think any of this was a good idea? Warlock: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. Paladin: Oh. Warlock: I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.

Cleric: Life is so hard. Cleric: *takes out a cigarette* Rogue: I didn’t know you smoked. Cleric: *bites it in half* It’s candy.

Fighter: Please, don’t say anything to Paladin! Rogue: You want me to lie to Paladin? Fighter: Is that a problem? Rogue: No.

Well, I may not be a master of the dark arts, but I am an intern of the dark arts! ~Warlock, level one

Rogue: Criminal record? I don’t have a criminal record! The only illegal thing I’ve done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor! Rogue: Just kidding! I’ve killed people.

Paladin: Are you okay? That sure is a lot of blood... Rogue: I’m fine! This isn’t my blood. Paladin: Is that supposed to be reassuring?

Rogue: Bard and I are dating. Paladin, Monk, Bard, and Fighter: [surprised gasps] Rogue: Wait, Bard? Why are you surprised?