Bard: How’s the meeting going? Rogue: I want to stab everyone. Bard: Just don’t get blood on your suit. We have dinner reservations at 7. Rogue: I love you for enabling me.
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Bard: How’s the meeting going? Rogue: I want to stab everyone. Bard: Just don’t get blood on your suit. We have dinner reservations at 7. Rogue: I love you for enabling me.

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Sorcerer: Hey Bloodhunter, do you know my blood type? Bloodhunter: Of course, it’s B positive. Sorcerer: Okay, I guessed wrong. Hey, Cleric!
Rogue: What’s up, Paladin? Paladin, after another day of being the only rational party member: My blood pressure.
You can lead a horse to water. And you can bring the horse into the water. And you can swim around with the horse and have fun. ~Druid
People who say 'Go big or go home' are severely underestimating my willingness to go home. ~Monk

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Wizard: "I thought you had a degree from Columbia; they don't think that's good enough?" Artificer: "Well, apparently now I need one from America..."
Non-consensual knife play, also known as stabbing. ~Rogue
Rogue, ordering coffee: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with uhh, seven shots of espresso? Sorcerer, next in line: God, just do cocaine.