Apr 1
DM: You cast Sunbeam, but one of the mind flayers saved with a nat 20. Player: Whoa, that dude had sunglasses?? Cool Mind Flayer: You all laughed at me!!
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DM: You cast Sunbeam, but one of the mind flayers saved with a nat 20. Player: Whoa, that dude had sunglasses?? Cool Mind Flayer: You all laughed at me!!
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Paladin: So, it must either be a sickness or zombies. Cleric: A sickness is actually what you call a group of zombies. Warlock: That makes a lot of sense. Cleric: Yeah, the song Down with the Sickness? It's about zombies.
DM: The hot spring isn't a bubble bath. Goblin Barbarian: Not yet it's not! I'm adding bubbles to it. DM: No, I mean, the water is still. For bubbles, it needs to be agitated. Goblin Barbarian: Yeah! What's more agitating than me??
Shoot From The Hip Characters as actual things my friends and I have said (mostly during DND) again;
Part 1
Anna (TVF): "Be the toxic yuri you wish to see in this world."
Nigel (AEON): "Your safety is gone, you feel very unsafe."
Frankie (TDVTCTB): "Cool people steal things."
Ethel (SAMN): "Have you felt cthulhu before?"
Jimmy (TGOTAT): *meeting a young Arthur* "Can I roll animal handling to calm down the child?"
Percy (WLP): *before the confession* "Stop trying to make my things gay!"
Noblin (TBWAS): "Do orcs need to breathe?"
Father Andrews (TPOH): "Every day we stray further from god."
Johnny (WBTWG): *Talking about his wife* "I guess she's gone through the bitchafcation process."
Joe Maggliano (TOA): "I have a sneaking suspicion my actions have come back to haunt me."
Batfam quotes as quotes from my DND game (pt 8) (but my main campaign is still on pause so this is from various oneshots over the summer)
Jason:“I'm not listening to someone who can barely touch my chin” Tim:“A pair of…” Steph:“..tits” Bruce:“No.” Jason:“If this is the job that puts me down, I swear I will come back just to haunt you” Damien:“I'm pretty sure you can see in the dark, correct”? Duke:“Oh yeah I can” Damien:“Did you forget”? Duke:“..Maybe” Jason:“Become demon- it pays off GREAT” Ra:“You wish to make one last heroic stand” Tim:“I wouldn't call it heroic but it is a stand” Dick:“Have you ever gotten hit by a meteor before”? Bruce:“...Can't say I have” Dick:“Yes, it is unpleasant” Steph:“Time isn't real, it's a soup” Damien:“That sounds like talking” Tim:“Well you see-” Damien:“That STILL sounds like talking” Tim:“-I mean that's” Damien:“Still. Talking” Tim:“Jesus... okay fine” Babs:“That's such fan behavior” Steph:“Have you ever put a hamster in a microwave”? Cass:“The fuck is a microwave”? Dick:“Congrats, You WON'T be eaten alive by rats-” Jason:“You’re making me the villain here” Damien:“God- You sound like my mother.” Dick:“Its an evil, im gonna slut shame it-” Duke:“That's my lungs not my skeleton” Cass:“Your right that's your gut not your bones”
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Do you think turned vampires test themselves out to see if they’re immortal or not?
Things that nobody said until I played D&D part 2
"the pope says 'the most powerful weapon in the world, my son, is the bible gun' and he pulls out the bible gun"
"your racism upsets the stirge so much that it just drops dead"
"explain why we shouldn't kill you right now" "my funky fresh moves"
"wisdom saving throw to not be horny"
"we are distracted by his sweet, sweet nipples"
"you are the Minecraft Alpha to our Minecraft 1.18"
"he's always visually moist"
"can i flirt with the eyes"
"I just casually slip the cake into my hat"
"onwards, to the piss hut!"
From Session 9 :3 "dirtboot" said Caseley about the Pirate Eleanor "dirtboot" responded Lucien My Players :3 Lucien (The Party's Wizard who is a ex professor with sentient crystals growing from him, Variant Human/Biomancy Wizard :3) Caseley (The Party's Cleric without a god after her previous abusive one left, Winged Tiefling/Cleric without subclass currently as of Session 9 :3) My NPC :3 Eleanor (Pirate captain with dirtied boots :3)