Bard: *in distress* Can’t you see I’m upset? What kind of a friend are you? Rogue: Look, I'm not the friend you call when you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm the friend you call when you need a death to look like an accident.
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Bard: *in distress* Can’t you see I’m upset? What kind of a friend are you? Rogue: Look, I'm not the friend you call when you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm the friend you call when you need a death to look like an accident.

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Diego, sneaking into tavern room at 2am:
Forge, turning on a light and spinning around in a swivel chair: Care to tell me where you were?
Diego: I was with... uh...Lurk.
Lurk, also spinning around in a swivel chair: Care to- *keeps spinning* Forge- I can’t stop the chair-
Paladin: How did you think any of this was a good idea? Warlock: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. Paladin: Oh. Warlock: I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.
Sorcerer: You know, I almost can’t believe it, but Warlock’s room is actually pretty normal. Warlock: What did you expect? Sorcerer: I don’t know… a coffin?

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Wizard: So, let me get this straight- Paladin: More like, let me run this bi you. Bard: Let’s see how this pans out. Rogue: Let me ace-ess the situation. Sorcerer: I’m also gay.
Sorcerer: Hello, my darling friends! Sorcerer: Guess who just got Sorcerer: ✧・゚:✧・゚:INJURED:・゚✧:・゚✧ Paladin: Obviously, I hope you’re OK, but I want you to know that was the most in-character thing you've ever said to me.
"My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look." ~Rogue