#incorrectdndquotes

Wizard: So, let me get this straight- Paladin: More like, let me run this bi you. Bard: Let’s see how this pans out. Rogue: Let me ace-ess the situation. Sorcerer: I’m also gay.

Bard: *in distress* Can’t you see I’m upset? What kind of a friend are you? Rogue: Look, I'm not the friend you call when you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm the friend you call when you need a death to look like an accident.

Paladin: How did you think any of this was a good idea? Warlock: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. Paladin: Oh. Warlock: I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.

Bard: I didn’t want to do this but I do know one way we could make the money.  Sorcerer: You’d make a decent prostitute. Bard: I’d make an amazing prostitute, but I was actually talking about this guy I know. 

Sorcerer: I’m non-binary. Rogue: Okay, but you still have a man’s body. Sorcerer: You’re right, we should probably bury this dead guy instead of talking about gender Rogue: I’ll get the shovels.

"My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look." ~Rogue