#cyparissus

Thanatos no longer comes to collect the archer god’s dead. Hermes has to crouch down to where his brother cowers over the corpse and give him words of comfort and dry his tears and pry his hands away from the limp body. He promises that he will bring his darlings to Elysium and that they will be fine and free of pain. And still every time his big brother cries and begs for him to let their soul remain in the body he can hold, begs Hermes to finally let him cross the border to the underworld himself. And every time Hermes listens and embraces him and let’s Apollo bury his face in the crook of his neck knowing exactly that he won’t bring his loves back and would never let his beloved brother leave this earth.

Bro needs to stop acting like the ship doesn't literally have over 400 fanfics on Ao3 (and gods know how many on Wattpad) and over 2.000 fanarts on Tumblr, Instagram, Twitter, etc.

Fucking greedy bitch, you're literally getting fed on a daily buffet for free in a golden spoon because Hyacinthus is the only boyfriend Apollo has (since y'all seem to ignore Adonis, Cyparissus, Admetus, Helenus, etc), while there are starved kids waiting for crumbs of Perseus x Andromeda fanfics (literally 29), Cadmus x Harmonia (11), and even worse for me, an Alectryon stan (10, 2 are mine, three are in Russian and and in 4 he's just a side character). 💀

THE FACT THAT Y'ALL HAVE A MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF MUSIC MADE BY FUCKING WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART HIMSELF NAMED AFTER YOUR FUCKING SHIP AND STILL WANT MORE, I'M FUCKING DONE

If I was Japanese, I'd already done the fucking harakiri.

Also, the tags for the other Apollo ships (like "Apollo x Admetus") I mentioned DON'T EVEN APPEAR IN THE TAG BAR, YOU'RE FUCKING KIDDING ME. Y'ALL ONLY LIKE WHAT'S MORE POPULAR

Apollo : it's black.

Someone: but it's believed to be red.

Someone: ...

Someone: oh I'm so sorry I got it man.

Apollo: *sobbing

I love listening to your opinions and interpretations of Greek mythology :)

(1.) CEPHALUS AND PROCRIS CEPHALUS AND PROCRIS CEPHALUS AND PROCRIS CEPHALUS AND PROCRIS!!!

my sad mortal blorbos 💔😭

(This myth that makes me want to strangle Eos but I blame Aphrodite most of all because none of that horrible shit would've happened to them or Cephalus's descendants leading up to Adonis if she didn't curse Eos.)

Anyways, I like to think they're both Odysseus's ancestors through Laertes.

(2.) Psamathe

She was a Nereid just minding her own business on a beach because she's the goddess of sand and then this bastard shitbag son of Zeus takes a page out of his daddy's book and assaults her. Even transforming into a seal didn't turn off Achilles's loser grandfather Aeacus (I bet he had some interesting conversations with Minos who's wife banged a bull), and either out of her reclaiming autonomy after her rape or Aeacus being a fucking weirdo who wants to remember that time he screwed a seal, their son is named "the seal" in Greek.

At least they both love their son Phocus I guess but Psamathe's bitchass stepsons kill him out of jealousy but then the gods SET UP her sister Thetis with one of those asshole stepsons of hers and Thetis turns the wolf she sent after Peleus to stone and through her sister's marriage she has to be tied to her son's murderer until Peleus's sorry ass finally dies or for eternity (if Thetis made him immortal).

She's gets a happy ending according to Euripides though by marrying a King of Egypt (a major upgrade from Aegina if you ask me) and has two more kids (with her daughter Eido even being noted to be the apple of her mother's eye 🥹) so a win is a win I guess but the trauma this poor woman must have!

(3.) Poseidon has a baby with a man

Nerites isn't that obscure of a figure anymore, but ultimately, he and Poseidon are the Bi4Bi couple of all time and don't get enough love.

I love the Anteros origin story where he poofs into existence from Neridon's great requited love IT'S SUPERIOR TO AND FUNNIER THAN HIM JUST BEING APHRODITE & ARES'S SON FIGHT ME!!!

(4.) Erichthonius being the son of Hephaestus & Atthis

This isn't because I want erase Hephaestus's wrongdoings (I do like him though and think he deserves another partner who loves him back. And since every younger male Olympian has their tragic doomed love with a mortal let him have one too!)

it's just a plus that he doesn't do anything shitty to Athena in this version.

(5.) Astraea

Her, her prophesied "return", everything!

Non-Hestia/Athena/Artemis virgin goddesses are so underrated. She does sound pure and true to her titles as the Goddess of Innocence, Justice, and Purity despite her being pro-Cronus and a Titan Golden Age believer.

There's also a sweet moment in the Dionysiaca (which I mostly hate but this moment was sweet) where she nurses Aphrodite & Adonis's daughter Beroe.

I'm so interested in her dynamics with her family since her insanely horny mom Eos was cursed by Aphrodite and is sleeping around with everyone but her dad (sorry Astraeus) and her brothers the Anemoi work directly under Zeus and pull his chariot despite her favoring Cronus's rule.

(6.) Zephyrus's son is a more successful gay than him

Zephyrus, famous for pining after and killing the sexy spartan prince Hyacinthus, never actually managed to pull a man.

He tried his luck a second time with Cyparissus, another one of dear ol' Apollo's boyfriends, but the guy died of grief after accidentally killing his pet deer.

He must have better luck with women though since he managed to reproduce with three different ladies. One of these gals was the nymph Chloris, who he did kidnap, but she forgave him once he made her a more powerful goddess by giving her the domain of flowers.

Anyways, they had a son named Carpus/Karpos. Carpus had a swimming contest with his lover Calamus/Kalamos, the son of a river god. Carpus ended up drowning because the Greeks preferred their gays doomed, and Calamus loved his boyfriend so dearly that he downed himself as well out of grief.

(7.) Cronus helps Hera create Typhon

Gaia crashes out about Zeus to Hera of all people, and since Hera is probably pissed at Zeus too, she goes to rant to her crazy daddy.

Daddy Cannibal gives Hera two eggs smeared with semen and tells her to bury it. She does, and out pops Typhon.

...

Well now it's Pride Month, you know what that means?

Branchus, Hymenaeus, Phorbas, Hippolytus of Sycion, Cyparissus, Helenus, Admetus, Adonis: that we'll get more fan content with Apollo?