#createyourself

From the wheel to the world, your creation is your voice. 🏺✨

When you don't care about anything and nothing evokes positive feelings? Even cheese, lately, makes me doubt. I've even started a list of things I like, like in "Dispatches From Elsewhere." On Jason Segel's list, with just "Spooky" and "Surprise," the guy made a series. Mine is filled with vague things like "writing stories," "writing my feelings," I even wonder if I wrote "cheese." What do I do with that, then? Well, yes, I know.

The first step in Wikihow to feel enthusiasm is to find out who you are... Big piece! How can you know who you are when you don't like anything? And there you go, you're just going around in circles. What we all do, more or less consciously. Less conscious: happy people, people who go to the supermarket with their families, people who think they know others just by seeing them (aka my mom). More conscious: depressed people, people who only go out for a pack of beer and the bigger cheese in the supermarket (aka me).

In fact, I recently wondered if the real me, the less natural one, is the one that bugs or the one that compensates. In other words, the one who is sensitive to everything and scared of everyone, or the one who puts on masks to greet people in a cool way. Because honestly, I kind of want to be cool when I get the chance. Maybe not everything is lost.

Step two: find out why you no longer feel enthusiasm. Is it depression? Lollllll. I'm coming out of it, man, leave me alone. Look, I'm doing fine.

Step three: have positive thoughts. Damn. It's August and it's raining outside. I'm broke, and they're going to take away my social assistance soon. I have no friends. No enthusiasm... Okay, okay. Next. Something I know I can achieve? Another round of Dragon Age? Yeah, that's definitely going to lead me to happiness.

Setting goals... But I don't have any goals! I just want to appear normal, you know. So, wear the mask. I should have been Japanese; that double life valued by society would have suited me perfectly. 

The only thing that makes me feel even remotely enthusiastic is imagining starting my life over somewhere else, in a freshly decorated house, with a freshly adopted puppy and kitten, fresh bike rides, a super fresh baker, etc. And believing that this time everything will be fine, and I'll be Amélie Poulain. I'd put all my weirdness into practice, but in a cool and not at all creepy way. There might even be people who throw themselves at my feet to be my friends and tolerate my sort of poorly managed autism. Except they'll never do it without letting me know they're coming, of course, because otherwise, I won't open the door.

In short, I want to recreate myself. Sorry, to re-re-re-re(...)create myself.

ATTENTION EVERYONE Delete the old version of me

It’s expired 🖤

The New Me is here ❣️