We've been mistaking unhealthy coping strategies for positive traits our whole life, so for example:
We think people pleasing is being kind, but kindness comes from genuine care, not fear of rejection: people pleasing is anxiety disgused as niceness
We mistake perfectionism for excellence, but excellence is about growth and progress, while perfectionism is fear of failure dressed up as high standards
We confuse avoiding conflict with being peaceful, but peaceful isn't pretending everything is fine: that's fear of confrontation masquerading as harmony
We think suppressing feelings makes us strong, but strength isn't emotional numbness: that's trauma disguised as resilience
We mistake not asking for help as independence, but independence isn't doing everything alone: that's fear of being a burden or pretending to be self-reliant
We confuse approval seeking with getting good advice, but seeking wisdom is different from needing validation: approval seeking is insecurity disguised as being open to input
We think being controlling gives us safety but safety isn't micromanaging everything: that's anxiety masquerading as being responsible
We mistake our productivity for our worth, but our value isn't our output: that's childhood conditioning disguised as work ethics
These patterns serve you once, but now they're just keeping you stuck
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***Set in an alternate universe without heroes or powers.***
â˘Family Chaos. Dark Comedy. Sexual Themes.
â˘Shippings include: Tim x Kon, Damian x Rachel, Bruce x Selina, Dick x Kori.
(A Christmas Story)
Damian Wayne stays home for Christmas for the first time in years. Bruce Wayne has a color-coded binder of mandatory events. Jason Todd is sporting an ankle monitor. Tim Drake is secretly sleeping with the enemy. A hush-hush Wayne elopement featuring Vegas. Koriandâr accidentally gets people high. Cassandra and Stephanie plan to flee the country. Jimmy Olsen canât catch a cab. The Kents are in an RV. Wally and Irey West get temporarily trapped. Dick Grayson crashes out over peanuts. Duke Thomas learns what it means to be Selinaâs favorite.
And halfway across the world, Talia al Ghulâ a literal dictatorâ realizes Damian refused to return home for Christmas because heâd rather spend it with his girlfriend (Damirae this time, sorry) and that suspicious ride-or-die group of friends.
Absolutely nothing goes according to plan.
(Rating change due to certain scenes/incidents.)
Do we like how I wrote up the couples here or no?
Yes
No
Yes but write it again w/Flatline instead (as requested on discord.)
No because your writing is shit (you sound like my mom)
No because your chapters are too long Iâm going to cry.
hot take but a lot of the fanon takes surrounding shane's life and control issues come from the fandom's desire to fit him more neatly into the bdsm sub box and not the other way around
Story Summary: When Alastor loses his shadow in a battle with Adam, he loses much more than his power.
Unstable, amnesiac, and unable to exist without an external anchor, he becomes dependent on Voxâs static to hold his fractured body together. Vox calls it protection. Alastor calls it relief.
But Vox remembers the past Alastor canât and uses it to make things right in all the wrong ways.
a/n: I've been uploading my fanfic on ao3 and a friend of mine convinced me in uploading here as well. This is my first time posting! I'm going to learn as I go in uploading the chapters, please be patient! I'm going to upload all the chapters that I have current on ao3.
Alastor notices it before anything else, before the smoke, before the holy scorch marks carved into Hellâs red stone, before Adam opens his mouth again.
The distortion presses against his senses like a radio dial tuned almost right, close enough to irritate, close enough to make his magic itch beneath his skin.
Thatâs new.
âWell,â Alastor says brightly, voice crackling with its usual theatrical warmth as he steps over a collapsed pillar, cane tapping once against the fractured ground. âI must say, this is shaping up to be a dreadfully one-sided affair.â
Adam scoffs loudly, wings flexing behind him. Feathers shake loose, drifting lazily through the haze like ash.
âOne-sided?â he snaps. âYouâve been running your fuckinâ mouth for ten minutes straight.â
Lute stands a few steps behind him, blade angled downward, posture tight and efficient. She doesnât speak. She doesnât need to.
Alastor grins wider, eyes glowing cheerfully. âAh, but monologuing is half the fun, my dear boy. One simply canât massacre an audience without proper presentation.â
Adam rolls his eyes. âJesus Christ, you are insufferable.â
He cracks his neck, gaze locking onto Alastor with something sharp and calculating, not the blind rage most angels bring to Hell, but irritation edged with intent.
âAlright,â Adam mutters. âEnough fuckinâ around.â
Alastorâs shadow shifts beneath him, stretching long and eager across the ground, curling at the edges like ink dropped into water. He feels the familiar hum of it, the balance, the weight, and the comfort of something that has always been there.
Thatâs when the air tightens.
Not a sound.
Not a flash.
Pressure.
Alastorâs smile twitches, just barely.
Lute adjusts her stance, eyes narrowing. âAdam.â
âI know,â Adam replies, already raising the weapon.
It isnât a blade. It isnât anything Alastor recognizes.
Compact. Metallic. Its surface crawls with etched symbols that vibrate when Adam grips it, emitting a low hum that sets Alastorâs teeth on edge.
âOh?â Alastor hums lightly. âAnd here I was expecting something crass and overcompensatory. Do forgive me if Iâm disappointed.â
Adam bares his teeth. âYou should be.â
The hum spikes.
Alastor moves.
Shadow surges instinctively, yanking him sideways as the first shot rips through the space where his head had been a moment before. The blast tears into the stone behind him, leaving a warped, glassy crater that smokes.
âMissed,â Alastor taunts.
Adam laughs, short, sharp, and ugly. âYeah. On purpose.â
The second shot comes faster.
Alastor feels it bend.
Not tracking him.
Not chasing his body.
Targeting something else entirely.
The seam.
The hit lands without sound.
Without impact.
Without mercy.
For a fraction of a second, Alastor doesnât understand whatâs happening, only that something inside him has gone catastrophically wrong. Pain doesnât explode so much as unzip, ripping through layers of self heâs never had to think about.
His shadow lashes violently, stretching too far, too fast, shrieking without a voice, and then itâs gone.
Alastor slams into the ground hard enough to knock the breath from him, the world stuttering violently as his magic surges out of control. Static screams through his skull, a shrill, broken feedback loop that sends sparks skittering across his vision.
Green light flares across his chest.
Stitches rip into existence, jagged, glowing threads of voodoo magic yanking his body back together as it tries, and fails, to come apart. His scream tears out of him raw, unfiltered, and nothing like the polished broadcast tone heâs worn for decades.
It hurts.
God, it hurts.
Adam lowers the weapon slowly, breathing a little harder now, eyes bright with something dangerously close to satisfaction.
âFuckinâ nailed it,â he mutters.
Lute steps closer, gaze fixed on Alastorâs writhing form. âHeâs still alive.â
Adam shrugs. âDidnât say I was trying to kill him.â
He looks down at Alastor, head tilting. âShadowâs the weak point. Always is. Soul gets real fuckinâ fragile when itâs divided like that.â
Alastor forces himself upright on shaking arms, stitches burning hot as they pull him back from the brink. His grin snaps back into place out of sheer habit, stretched too thin, and warped at the edges.
âMy, my,â he rasps, static breaking through his voice. âYou angels certainly do come prepared these days.â
Adam snorts. âRun.â
Alastor doesnât argue.
He vanishes in a burst of corrupted static, body tearing itself free from the battlefield with a shriek of broken frequency. The escape isnât clean. It canât be.
He hits the ground hard somewhere else, trees looming overhead, their shapes warped and indistinct, colors bleeding together in dull, muddy shades that make his head swim.
The forest is quiet.
Too quiet.
Alastor staggers forward and stops dead.
His body locks mid-step.
Muscles seize, refusing command as if heâs slammed into an invisible wall. His breath catches sharply, shallow and panicked, vision blurring as the world loses depth and clarity.
He canât move.
Something is wrong.
Something is missing.
Alastor looks down.
There is no shadow beneath him.
The realization hits harder than the pain.
âNo,â he whispers.
The word comes out thin. Unsteady. Stripped of performance.
His knees buckle, body collapsing into the damp earth as the stitches along his chest flare brighter, yanking tight to keep him from unraveling completely. Pain lances through him in sharp, erratic bursts, but not enough to kill him.
Enough to keep him aware.
Thoughts scatter.
Names slip away first.
Places follow.
The world narrows to sensation, cold ground, buzzing static in his skull, the unbearable wrongness of being incomplete.
Alastor curls inward, fingers digging into the dirt as his body shudders violently.
Somewhere far away, laughter echoes, distorted, familiar, and entirely unplaceable.
And in the absence where his shadow once lived, something watches.
all roads lead back to the basement : spencer hastings
âş why high-achieving girls relapse into sabotage â decoding spencer's obsession with control | by @glowettee
hey lovelies! â§
have you ever noticed how spencer always ends up in some version of a basement? literally or metaphorically, our favorite hastings girl finds herself spiraling in hidden spaces, plotting revenge, or having a full breakdown away from judging eyes. and honestly? same.
the basement isn't just a physical place, it's that mental space where high-achieving girls retreat when we're unraveling but can't let anyone see. it's where we hide our panic, our shame, our pressure, our secrets. it's where the perfect facade cracks but nobody's allowed to witness.
⧠the performance of perfection
let's be honest about something: nobody is born a control freak. we're trained into it, molded by expectations, and rewarded for our ability to keep everything (including ourselves) in perfect order. spencer wasn't born obsessively organizing murder boards, she was shaped into someone who needed that control to feel safe.
for girls raised to be "the smart one," our entire identity becomes wrapped up in:
getting straight As
being the responsible one
solving everyone's problems
anticipating disaster before it happens
never showing weakness
sound familiar? the gold stars and academic validation become an addiction. we literally start to believe that our worth as a human is tied to our productivity. we're not people, we're performers. and the show must go on (even when we're breaking).
⧠the relapse isn't random
when spencer spirals, it looks chaotic from the outside. but her self-sabotage isn't random... it's a carefully choreographed dance she's been practicing her whole life. the same goes for all of us perfectionists.
we don't just randomly implode. we return to our basements because:
it feels safer to destroy things ourselves than wait for someone else to do it
the pressure becomes unbearable and we need release
our inner child gets triggered (usually by feeling not good enough)
we're reenacting old pain that feels oddly comforting because it's familiar
think about it: spencer doesn't randomly lose control, she loses it in the exact same ways, over and over. competing with melissa. taking p*lls to study longer. becoming obsessive about solving the puzzle before anyone else. these aren't new behaviors; they're old wounds wearing new outfits.
⧠the ugly parts of ambition
there's a difference between healthy ambition and the kind that's fueled by shame. spencer's need to be the best isn't just fueled by achievement, it's fueled by outrunning the voice that says "if i don't win, i'm nothing."
the ugly truth about toxic ambition is that it:
makes you see friends as competition
turns rest into failure
convinces you that your value is in your output
keeps you emotionally numb through productivity
destroys relationships because nothing matters more than the goal
remember when spencer sabotaged melissa's relationship? stole her essays? betrayed her friends to get ahead? that's not ambition... that's desperation wearing ambition's clothes.
⧠control is a trauma response
spencer's need to control everything, to know every secret, anticipate every move, and stay three steps ahead... isn't just type-A personality traits. it's a trauma response.
when your world has been repeatedly unsafe (and let's be real, rosewood is the definition of unsafe), control becomes survival. the girl who color-codes her planner and can't delegate tasks isn't just organized, she's terrified of what happens if she lets go.
some signs your control issues might actually be trauma:
you can't sleep if things are unfinished
uncertainty causes physical panic
you micromanage everyone around you
you feel responsible for outcomes that aren't yours
your body stays in constant vigilance
you equate relaxation with danger
⧠rewriting the spiral
so how do we stop going back to the basement? how do we break the cycle that spencer never quite managed to escape?
recognize your basement triggers
what sends you spiraling? is it comparison? criticism? feeling overlooked? identify the exact moments that make you want to retreat and self-sabotage.
create a physical "anti-basement"
designate a space (even just a corner) that represents the opposite of your spiral zone. fill it with comfort objects, grounding tools, and reminders of who you are beyond achievement.
practice nervous system regulation
when you feel the spiral starting, focus on your body first. deep breathing, cold water on your face, gentle movement, anything that tells your body "you're safe, you don't need to run to the basement."
redefine what winning means
success doesn't have to mean perfection or being better than everyone else. what if winning just meant peace? what if it meant being present? what if it meant being kind to yourself?
speak to your inner spencer
the part of you that's terrified of failure needs compassion, not more pressure. talk to her like you would a friend: "it's okay to rest. it's okay to not know everything. your worth isn't in your achievements."
⧠the girl who comes back upstairs
the real victory isn't never going to the basement again. it's recognizing that you don't live there anymore. you visit sometimes, but you always come back up.
spencer's tragedy was believing she had to stay in that dark place of control and obsession to be valuable. but the real win isn't solving every mystery or being the smartest person in rosewood, it's finding peace in the uncertainty.
you're allowed to put down the murder board. you're allowed to close the planner. you're allowed to exist without earning it.
the basement will always be there. but so is the sunlight upstairs.
xoxo, mindy đ¤
p.s. what's your favorite spencer spiral moment? mine is definitely pill-fueled study sessions that turned into hallucinations. too relatable (minus the hallucinations⌠mostly (and def the pills đ).
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A Lot of You Have Subtle/Covert Control Issues, And Hereâs Why:
One thing that Iâve noticed about a lot of people is that they have control issues that are given a pass and overlooked. Especially in relationships and friendships.
When we think of âcontrol issuesâ in the context of connections, we think of someone telling another what they can and canât do, or what they can and canât wear, or who they can and canât speak to. Those things definitely fit into that category, but those are OVERT forms of control issues. Read through some of the following points and see if you can relate to any of the more subtle ones:
Refusing to accept people for who they are (positive or negative) and therefore opting to try to change them for better or for worse - instead of choosing to change YOUR behaviour and whether or not YOU continue to deal with them.
Thinking that you have the power or influence to change someone into a âbetter personâ and refusing to give up despite them not being receptive to that, nor even asking for your help in the first place.
Trying to force people to love and care for you. Instead of just choosing to love, care, and focus on yourself. Thinking that if you do âthisâ and âthatâ for them, or if you stick around them long enough, then theyâll eventually treat you like you want to be treated.
Refusing to change what YOU accept in terms of disrespect (when you definitely could if you wanted to), and instead trying to force someone to respect you. THEY DONâT WANT TO. Simple.
Trying to âfixâ other people constantly (people who most likely never asked for that/donât want that in the first place) while barely fixing anything about yourself.
All of these scenarios are just examples, but they all include someone trying to change someone else instead of choosing to change themselves, and their OWN behaviour, and their OWN standards.
So, this is my question: If you think that you donât have the power nor the influence to change yourself into who you want to be, what makes you think that youâre powerful enough to change someone else into who you want them to be?
Please recognise your control issues. People who struggle with these types of things - covertly or overtly - are people who feel out of control in their own lives so they try to control someone elseâs life. And that energy repels people. Because hardly anybody ever asks for someone to impose themselves onto them like that. Doesnât matter if you think that youâre doing it to make someone âbetterâ. If they donât WANT to be a better person, then leave them to it. You donât have the right to force someone onto a path that they donât want to be on. Just like nobody else would have the right to do that to you.
Thereâs a reason why we have free will. To control ourselves. A lot of you shame manipulative people due to the way that they impose themselves on another personâs free will and mindset. However, I can guarantee you that if you relate to doing any of the things listed above, you attempted manipulating someoneâs mind and behaviour - even if it was for something âgoodâ or âbetterâ - whether you realised it or not. Manipulation is something that humans do consciously and subconsciously all of the time. My question is, if youâre willing to try to manipulate someoneâs behaviour for better, why not put that energy into yourself? Or at least someone who has directly ASKED for your help with that?
Please, everyone, stay in your lane and control YOURSELVES đ.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/3
Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
Characters: Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov
Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, mostly - Freeform, Control Issues, Autistic Shane Hollander, Under-negotiated Kink, Dom/sub, Not Actually Unrequited Love, POV Shane Hollander, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Shane Hollander Has an Eating Disorder, Shane Hollander's Yearning Bottom Eyes, Canon Autistic Character, yeah yeah the ep 2 vegas scene we all wanna write angst about it, Shane baby you know you arenât Atlas you donât have to hold the worldâs weight on your shoulders, Consent King Ilya Rozanov, Bottom Shane Hollander, Top Ilya Rozanov, Anal Sex, Self-Flagellation, Shane hollander be kind to yourself challenge, Miscommunication, honestly kind of a character study on Shane and his autism and how it affects how he interacts with the world, Insecurity, Self-Worth Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, situationship era hollanov, Shane Hollander in Subdrop, the comfort is coming I swear they just have to be emotionally stunted for a bit first
Summary:
As a professional athlete, his body is literally built for endurance. Itâs kind of part of his job description, really, something that he specifically trains for, to be good at enduring things most people would balk at. What he personally feels about the specifics of that process is secondary to the goal of being the best hockey player he can possibly be.
The thing with Rozanov starts off as something different. Tentatively, Shane had allowed himself to hope that this could become a part of his life not to be endured but enjoyed, maybe. The CCM shoot, the 2011 All Stars game, Shaneâs apartment in Montreal the first time Shane had⌠Well, to say Shane enjoys himself in each case would be an understatement. It had shocked him, how good sex could feel when you wanted to be there. He had almost forgotten what it was like to want something, something other than hockey, until somehow, without any conscious decision on his part, his whole body had been consumed with wanting his arch-rival.
(Or, a look at Shane Hollander and his control issues throughout the timeline of the show.)
Luke Maybank and the unhealthy dynamics of parentification
What is parentification?
Parentification is a role reversal where parents are emotionally unavailable to provide support to the child typically due to their own problems often caused by alcohol or drug addiction or a mental illness. The child is forced to take care of themselves and take responsibility of the parent. Parents who are emotionally unavailable might also put down their children, contributing to a lack of self-esteem and increased stress for the child. This unavailability leaves the child without the necessary emotional guidance and stability.
The relationship between JJ and Luke Maybank
Luke is a single father. He is drinking and addicted to the prescribtion drug "Ambien", also known as a Z-drug. He is neglectful and abusive, failing to offer the emotional backing that JJ needs.
Luke Maybank is addicted to sedatives
Until about the third episode of the first season, we don't learn much about JJ Maybank's abusive family background. The first time we get a glimpse of his father is when Luke Maybank is exiting Barry's house, where he possibly went to get drugs or being involved in other shady activities. We also learn, that Luke Maybank lost his job at the salvage yard because he turned up drunk for work.
In Season 1, Episode 3, JJ Maybank and his friends visit the salvage yard to steal an underwater drone. During this scene, JJ concocts a lie about his father to distract the security guard, crying that his father "was gonna hit him again" if he wouldn't finish a certain task for him. The viewer is left wondering if there is some truth in his lie.
In Episode 5, father and son are on screen together for the first time in a dramatic scene, which intensity shocked many viewers. Beforehand, JJ Maybank was portrayed as funny, reckless and rebellious. There were no actual signs that he could have really been the victim of such vicious domestic violence as portrayed in this Episode.
In the scene Luke Maybank picks up his son JJ from the police station. As soon as they got into the car, Luke's entire rage is suddenly unleashed on JJ as he brutally beats him up. The mistreatment continues at home, where Luke verbally abuses his son mercilessly, possibly being under the influence of prescribtion drugs and alcohol. Meanwhile JJ locks himself in his bedroom. He is badly bruised and anxious, visibly traumatized and shaken by his father's actions.
"How you gonna get that money back, huh? By sittin' around doin' nothin'? I'm gonna tell you right now, you are a worthless piece of shit! Your Momma knew." (Luke Maybank, Season 1, Episode 5).
But physical abuse only being one possible hallmark of parentification. Parentification mainly involves overstimulation in parent-child interaction, where the focus is strongly on the parent's emotional needs. A strong indicator for JJ being parentified is, that he only feels valuable when fulfilling his father's needs. He really tries to please his father, desperately longing to "earn" just a small moment of parental kindness.
When he steals money from Barry's drug shack to pay for his restitution, he is even willing to jeopardize his friendship with the Pogues, just to fix things with his father.
At first, Luke gratefully accepts the money. JJ is shown beaming with relief and happiness over his father's praise and appreciation. But soon after Luke makes it clear that he doesn't want to use it for the restitution to help his son. He argues that the money was his to spend because JJ had already "cost him so much".
Luke instills guilt in JJ by blaming him for his misery (Season 1, Episode 7)
With that being said, Luke twists the fact that it is actually his paternal duty to provide for JJ's basic needs. Instead, he manipulates JJ by making him feel responsible for financial burdens, further solidifying JJ's role as a caregiver.
When JJ objects and takes his money back, his father beats him again. This time, JJ fights back, ultimately overpowering his father, pinning him to the ground. JJ is about to possibly hit and kill him with an object, but at the sight of his father being defeated he breaks down in tears, heartbroken and frustrated about his father's repeated rejection towards him and possibly feeling guilty and ashamed about having to defend himself like that against his own father. As JJ realizes how weak his father is, he might have also felt uncomfortable and confused with the sudden power he has over him. Notably, that particular scene also visualizes the unhealthy role reversal between father and son.
"You gave me nothing. You gave me nothing but a shitty life. All you ever did was try to scare me. But guess what? I am not scared of you anymore!" (JJ Maybank, Season 1, Episode 7)
The internal struggle between longing for parental affection and dealing with the reality of his father's behavior becomes clearer in Episode 10 when JJ tries to steal the key to Luke's boat, the "Phantom".
As JJ is about to take the key off his sleeping father, Luke surprisingly wakes up in a changed demeanor. He apologizes to his son, not without shifting part of the blame onto JJ, saying: "You remind me of your mother".
"I know I'm hard on you sometimes. But sometimes I see your mother in you. And it get's me a little tweaked, you know?" (Luke Maybank, Season 1, Episode 10)
Although Luke comes across sincere and apologetic in this moment, he actually refuses to take any responsibility for mistreating his son. Worse than that, he shifts the blame onto JJ's mere existence and heritage. This justification for his anger issues is another form of abuse and emotional manipulation.
Additionally to that, Luke Maybank repeatedly brings up JJ's missing mother and his frustration about her, with complete disregard for his son's feelings for her. He never considers whether JJ loved his mother, if he misses her, or if JJ himself is hurt or confused by her disappearance. He focuses only on his own pain and frustration, completely ignoring his sons feelings who must navigate complex emotions and family dynamics all by himself.
JJ finally accepts his father's attempt to hug him because he deeply craves for his approval and love. In doing so you can see him desperately trying to push down his emotions and unsuccessfully holding back his tears. The intimate moment is interrupted when Luke, under the influence of his drugs, collapses back on the couch sleeping, allowing JJ to think clearly again and finalise his mission of taking the key of his father.
Another instance where the role reversal becomes very clear is when Luke JJ helps his dad to escape to Yucatan in Season 2, Episode 8. After they share an emotional farewell on the boat, JJ gives his father some money for the journey and secretly disposes the pills fueling Luke's addiction. These actions are another example of JJ routinely stepping into a caretaker role, which traditionally belongs to the parent.
Luke Maybank pressures his son into helping him for the last time (Season 2, Episode 8)
JJ stays behind, relieved that his father cannot harm and manipulate him anymore. But his hopes are fading that he will ever change. JJ is left with the growing certainty that he will, despite his relentless efforts, never be able to have the unconditional love and acceptance he craves for. It is questionable if JJ will ever give up seeking his father's love and acceptance, but due to his personal growth in the last three season it becomes clear that he will no longer fight for it to the point of self-sacrifice.
Luke Maybank leaves his son (supposedly) for good in Season 2, Episode 8
