We've been mistaking unhealthy coping strategies for positive traits our whole life, so for example:
We think people pleasing is being kind, but kindness comes from genuine care, not fear of rejection: people pleasing is anxiety disgused as niceness
We mistake perfectionism for excellence, but excellence is about growth and progress, while perfectionism is fear of failure dressed up as high standards
We confuse avoiding conflict with being peaceful, but peaceful isn't pretending everything is fine: that's fear of confrontation masquerading as harmony
We think suppressing feelings makes us strong, but strength isn't emotional numbness: that's trauma disguised as resilience
We mistake not asking for help as independence, but independence isn't doing everything alone: that's fear of being a burden or pretending to be self-reliant
We confuse approval seeking with getting good advice, but seeking wisdom is different from needing validation: approval seeking is insecurity disguised as being open to input
We think being controlling gives us safety but safety isn't micromanaging everything: that's anxiety masquerading as being responsible
We mistake our productivity for our worth, but our value isn't our output: that's childhood conditioning disguised as work ethics
These patterns serve you once, but now they're just keeping you stuck
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
Oh to have my own cage, full of pillows and blankets and snacks. Getting to be in there with my phone and iPad. Mommy locking me in there while she's out so I don't do something stupid, like run away.
***Set in an alternate universe without heroes or powers.***
âąFamily Chaos. Dark Comedy. Sexual Themes.
âąShippings include: Tim x Kon, Damian x Rachel, Bruce x Selina, Dick x Kori.
(A Christmas Story)
Damian Wayne stays home for Christmas for the first time in years. Bruce Wayne has a color-coded binder of mandatory events. Jason Todd is sporting an ankle monitor. Tim Drake is secretly sleeping with the enemy. A hush-hush Wayne elopement featuring Vegas. Koriandâr accidentally gets people high. Cassandra and Stephanie plan to flee the country. Jimmy Olsen canât catch a cab. The Kents are in an RV. Wally and Irey West get temporarily trapped. Dick Grayson crashes out over peanuts. Duke Thomas learns what it means to be Selinaâs favorite.
And halfway across the world, Talia al Ghulâ a literal dictatorâ realizes Damian refused to return home for Christmas because heâd rather spend it with his girlfriend (Damirae this time, sorry) and that suspicious ride-or-die group of friends.
Absolutely nothing goes according to plan.
(Rating change due to certain scenes/incidents.)
Do we like how I wrote up the couples here or no?
Yes
No
Yes but write it again w/Flatline instead (as requested on discord.)
No because your writing is shit (you sound like my mom)
No because your chapters are too long Iâm going to cry.
hot take but a lot of the fanon takes surrounding shane's life and control issues come from the fandom's desire to fit him more neatly into the bdsm sub box and not the other way around
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
Story Summary: When Alastor loses his shadow in a battle with Adam, he loses much more than his power.
Unstable, amnesiac, and unable to exist without an external anchor, he becomes dependent on Voxâs static to hold his fractured body together. Vox calls it protection. Alastor calls it relief.
But Vox remembers the past Alastor canât and uses it to make things right in all the wrong ways.
a/n: I've been meaning to upload the next chapter, but I uploaded it in ao3 and not here. I thought I did. Well, the thought was there but my actions didn't follow. Sorry! I'm going to upload all the chapters that I have current on ao3.
The room holds its breath, or perhaps that is Vox projecting. It would not be the first time he gave a room too much credit. He wakes in pieces: the low hum of old circuitry first, then the soft blue glow behind his eyelids, then the weight of someone else breathing against him. For one blissful, stupid second, his systems do not identify the problem.Â
Then they do.
Alastor.
Still asleep.
Still in his arms, Vox does not move. His first instinct is not panic. Panic is crude. Panic is undignified. Panic is what lesser men do when their circumstances become inconvenient. Vox does not panic. He freezes with immaculate internal violence. The room remains dim around them, folded in late-blue quiet. The old radios on the shelves hum faintly, their dials dark, their wooden bodies polished enough to catch the soft light in dull little gleams. The hidden jammers in the walls pulse beneath the atmosphere, nearly silent, almost polite. Every system in the room has been tuned to low output, calibrated for stillness, comfort, and containment.
Itâs containment.
Yes.
That is what this is, you idiots.
This is not intimacy.
Certainly not for my indulgence.
Containment.
Alastor is curled against him with the kind of unguarded ease Vox has no right to witness. His forehead rests near Voxâs chest, not quite tucked there now, but close enough that the memory of last night still presses into the space between them. One of Voxâs arms lies across his waist, light but unmistakable. The other rests near Alastorâs shoulder, fingers curled loosely against the sheets. He should move immediately and professionally. He does not. Instead, he looks. He tells himself it is an assessment.
Temperature normalized. Breathing steady. Stitching dim. No visible flare. Frequency dependency is still present, but reduced during sleep. Post-collapse recovery proceeding within acceptableâŠAlastorâs ear flicks: small, soft, unconscious, and Voxâs screen glitches.
A thin line of static rips across the blue and disappears.
Absolutely not.
The thought from last night returns, unwelcome and fully formed this time.
Cute.
Vox stares at the far wall as if offended by the wordâs audacity.
No. Stop thinking that!
No, that is not the category. That is not the operating framework. That is not helpful. The Radio Demon does not get to be cute simply because he is unconscious and fever-drained and inconveniently tucked into my side like he had once decided sleep meant surrender, mother fucker.
He adjusts his hand the smallest fraction. Alastor shifts toward the warmth. Vox goes still again. His screen brightens by one faint degree.
Noted.
He should be ashamed of the satisfaction that curls through him. He is not. He will be later, perhaps, when it becomes strategically inconvenient. For now, he lets himself have exactly three seconds of victory.
One.
Alastorâs breathing remains slow.
Two.
His ear twitches again, then relaxes.
Fuck. Three.
Vox withdraws his arm.
Shit. Shit. Careful.
So carefully it irritates him. He slides his hand from Alastorâs waist inch by inch, watching the stitching for any flare, watching the face for any tightening. The mattress shifts beneath him; Alastorâs brow creases faintly, and for a moment Voxâs hand hovers, ready to settle back where it was. He does not. He eases away and sits up at the edge of the bed, smoothing his jacket automatically. It is creased from sleep. That, more than anything else, makes the situation feel real in a way he resents. He glances back once. Alastor remains asleep, hair slightly mussed, coat folded neatly on the chair nearby, ears relaxed. The dim blue light softens the harsher angles of his face without making him look harmless. Nothing could make him harmless, it is part of the appeal. Vox stands.Â
The room seems louder once he is no longer lying in the center of it. Not actually loud, never that, not here, but more aware of itself, the jammers hum in the walls. The temperature system shifts, and the old television parts along the shelves sit like witnesses. Vox crosses to the wall panel and pulls up diagnostics with a flick of his fingers. Blue interfaces unfold in layered rectangles: temperature, signal interference, stitching flare patterns, shadow movement suppression, and frequency response. Each one gives him something logical to look at.
Good. This is perfect.
Logic is better than whatever the fuck that bed moment had been. Focus.
He adjusts a limiter by two percent, then pauses.
Too much could irritate the stitches. Too little and Alastor might slip through shadow the moment he regains the strength to be difficult. Vox adjusts it back by half.
âContained, remember,â he murmurs under his breath. âNot caged.â
The room, like an unhelpful bastard, does not tell him whether there is a meaningful difference. Behind him, the fabric shifts. Voxâs hand stills over the interface.
A breath.
Then a voice, rough with sleep and sharpened by immediate offense, ââŠOf course.â
Vox turns. Alastor is awake. Not fully, but awake enough to be angry, which is a reliable sign of improvement. He lies still for a moment, eyes open and fixed on the ceiling, as if he is taking inventory of every indignity before deciding which one to punish first. Then his gaze shifts, slow and surgical, to Vox. The smile appears after the eyes and not before. The performance reassembled itself. Vox almost admires the craftsmanship.
âHey sleepyhead, youâre awake,â he says.
Alastor blinks once.
âHow observational.â
âGood morning to you too.â
âIs it morning?â
âUh, technically.â
âHow unfortunate.â
He starts to sit up too quickly.
Vox takes one step forward. Alastorâs ear snaps back. Vox stops.The movement is instant and automatic. Alastor notices that too.
Good, Vox thinks.
Let him.
Alastor pushes himself upright with insulting determination, one hand braced against the mattress, shoulders lifting into a posture too dignified for someone who nearly folds in half halfway through it. The green stitching along his side brightens under the strain. His jaw tightens. He refuses to make a sound. Vox watches him fight gravity like it has personally offended him.
âCareful Bambi,â Vox says.
Alastor swings his legs over the side of the bed. âI see youâve downgraded from Overlord to zookeeper.â
Vox leans back against the console, folding his arms. âAnd yet youâre still the most difficult exhibit.â
Alastorâs eyes narrow. His ears, traitorous little things, flick once in irritated amusement before he forces them still.
âCold-blooded lizard.â
âIf youâre going to fucking insult me,â Vox says, with smooth offense, âat least do it right and upgrade me to something impressive. A shark, perhaps.â
Alastor pauses. Then the faintest smirk touches the edge of his mouth.
âNo, no,â he says. âThatâs too much of a compliment. I would definitely and surely say youâre more of a gecko, my dear.â
Voxâs screen glitches.
âA gecko?!.â
âBig eyes,â Alastor continues, tone warming with cruel pleasure. âClings to walls and appears where he is not wanted. Probably makes upsetting little chirping sounds when excited.â
Vox scoffs, âI do not chirp.â
âMm. I doubt you hear yourself.â
âYou were sleeping on my chest less than an hour ago.â
The smirk dies, not completely. Alastor goes very still. The air between them changes. The humor remains in the room, but it has edges now. Vox knows immediately he has hit something real.
Good.
No wait, not good.
This can be useful.
Alastor looks away first, which tells Vox more than a retort would have.
âThat,â Alastor says, very carefully, âwas an unfortunate lapse in bodily judgment.â
âUh huh, bodily judgment,â Vox repeats.
âYou heard me. Is your input not working?â
âIs that what weâre calling it?â
âWe are actually calling it nothing. There is not label that needs to be placed.â
Vox smiles.
Alastor notices. âDo not look pleased.â
âWhat? Iâm not.â
âOh you absolutely are. I can see your smile is about to go off your screen.â
âIâm professionally encouraged.â
âProfessionally? I would not say that word. Youâre nothing but that.â
âHey rude, you stabilized.â
âOh, how romantic.â
Vox tilts his head. âI didnât say romantic.â
Alastorâs gaze snaps back to him. A small victory. Vox lets the silence breathe just long enough to be felt, then shifts away from it before it can become too exposed.
âYou remember last night.â
Alastorâs fingers curl lightly against the bedspread.
âI remember enough.â
âHe, enough to be angry?â
âI require very little to be angry.â
âThatâs actually true.â
Alastorâs smile sharpens again, but the color in his face, faint and fever-warm, betrays him. He remembers more than enough: the cooling, the bed, the arm around him, the humiliating comfort of surrendering to relief. He remembers his own body melting into Voxâs, remembers the awful safety of it, remembers the nickname.
Bambi.
His ear flicks at the memory. Voxâs screen brightens.
Alastor sees it and points one long finger at him.
âNo.â
âI didnât say anything!â
âYou considered a thought that caused you to have that face. I donât like it.â
âHaving a thought is a crime now?â
âWith you? Preventative measures are absolutely necessary.â
Vox laughs. Alastor hates that it warms the room more than the lights do. He forces himself to stand. It is a mistake. His body informs him immediately. The first step is unsteady; the second barely happens. His knees threaten to fold, and one line of stitching across his hip tightens hard enough to make his breath catch. He catches the bedpost with one hand and turns the motion into something that almost resembles choosing to lean there⊠almost. Vox does not move this time. He watches.
Alastor appreciates that about as much as he resents it.
âYou brought me back,â Alastor says.
âYes, we already had this conversation.â
âI want to blatantly remind you I specifically said no.â
âI know.â
âWonderful. Iâm pleased that your hearing is still intact.â
Voxâs expression remains smooth, but the blue deepens a fraction. âWhat do you want me to do? I told you already and Iâll drill it into your skull that your body was falling apart in a fucking alley.â
âAnd you took that as an invitation.â
âNo, I took that as an emergency.â
âYou clearly took that as an opportunity.â
The line lands. Voxâs screen flickers once.
There.
Alastorâs smile widens, small and mean.
âAh,â he says softly. âYou always twist my thoughts.â
Vox pushes off the console. He has not come closer yet.
âYou collapsed.â
âI was making a strategic retreat.â
âYou literally passed out!â
âIt was part of the strategy.â
âYou were fucking unconscious!â
âIt was a bold maneuver, sure.â
âOh my god! You would rather fucking die than admit you my fucking needed help!â
Alastorâs expression hardens. The room goes quiet, that one was too close to the bone. Vox realizes it a fraction too late. Alastor straightens, despite the strain. His smile is still there, but there is less humor in it now.
âLet me remind you that you would rather dress control in a clean suit and call it rescue.â
Vox does not answer immediately. The jammers hum in the walls. Alastorâs gaze flicks toward one corner. Then another.
âYou think I would not notice the alterations.â
âAdjustments, Iâm testing out something.â
âTo keep me from leaving.â
âNo, donât be so dramatic, look at it as though itâs to keep you from tearing yourself apart the next time you decide dramatic exits are an effective coping mechanism.â
Alastor laughs softly.
âYou really do have a gift.â
âFor?â
âMaking a cage sound like a clinic.â
Voxâs jaw tightens.
âIâm offended. It is not a cage.â
âThe bed?â
âItâs for recovery.â
âThe frequency dampeners?â
âDuh, itâs a precaution.â
âThe fact that I could not shadow-walk out of this room if I attempted it right now?â
âTemporary.â
Alastorâs smile turns poisonous as a deer shriek is heard.
âThat word is doing an astonishing amount of work.â
Vox steps closer now, only one step, to change the pressure in the room.
âLet me remind you that you are unstable.â
âI am well aware.â
âYouâre not acting like it.â
âI was under the impression that making frailty to everyone elseâs problem was considered tacky. I can do this on my own.â
âYouâve always done this.â
Alastor stills slightly.
Vox sees it. He hates that heâs using it but continues anyway.
âYouâd walk into turf wars like the outcome of your body was fucking incidental. Youâd laugh at injuries like they were some mediocre punchlines. Youâd come back stitched together with blood dripping like an open faucet and with radio static spilling everywhere and you would act all offended if anyone noticed.â
Alastorâs eyes narrow, but something flickers behind them. It was an old memory, or the edge of it. Alastor tilts his slightly.
âThat certainly doesnât sound like me.â
âOh ho, it absolutely fucking does.â
âNonsense. I am the picture of restraint, my dear.â
âBullshit, you once took a bullet through the shoulder and kept hosting because you didnât want the audience thinking the other guy had a really good aim.â
Alastor pauses.
ââŠThat sounds like excellent showmanship.â
âThat sounds like reckless stupidity.â
âThat sounds like winning to me.â
Voxâs voice drops. âYou didnât fucking care what happened to you.â
âAnd why should I have?â
The question is light, too light. It opens something in Vox before he can stop it.
âBecause I canât keep finding you half-dead in alleys.â
The room goes still, the sentence has no polish and no showmanâs shine nor spin. It sits there, raw and inconvenient, between the old radios and the new bed and the hidden jammers in the walls. Alastorâs face does not change, his ears do⊠one tilts forward slightly, listening. Vox realizes what he said only after it has already done its damage.
Alastorâs gaze studies him with slow, unsettling focus.
âThat sounded dangerously sincere.â
Vox looks away first this time.
âA technical failure.â
âMm.â
âDonât make it fucking weird, asshole.â
âOh, I wouldnât dream of it.â
âYou would absolutely dream of it. Youâre weird that way.â
âMy dear, my dreams have better taste.â
Vox laughs once, but it doesnât entirely clear the tension. Before either of them can decide whether to bury or examine the moment, Voxâs phone buzzes.
Valentino.
The name flashes across the screen. Voxâs expression shifts immediately. Alastor sees it. There was no panic with his expression, a mild annoyance, sure. His features had a familiar practiced momentum, the look of a man bracing for a conversation he already knows by shape.
Vox answers.
âWhat.â
Valentinoâs voice pours through the speaker, rich, careless, edged in amusement.
âSo are we kidnapping now or was that a one-time thing?â
Alastorâs ear flicks.
That voice.
A small pressure rises in him, distaste without context.
I hate him.
The thought arrives with certainty. Then, annoyingly, no explanation follows.
Why?
He searches for the answer and finds only fragments: moth wings, too much perfume, hands too easy with space, a laugh that treats boundaries like a matter of negotiation.
He exhales quietly.
Itâll come back to me.
Vox turns slightly away, lowering his voice.
âYou crossed a line.â
âRelax, cariño, I barely touched-â
âYou touched him after I told you not to push.â
âWhat? You said play nice.â
âAnd somehow you interpreted that as âtest the feral deer demon currently held together by cursed half-assed embroidery.ââ
Alastorâs eyes sharpen.
âFeral deer demon?â
Vox covers the speaker briefly. âNot now.â
Alastor mouths silently, offended: Feral?
Val continues, unbothered.
âHe looked fine to me.â
Voxâs voice goes colder.
âHe wasnât.â
A pause over the line.
Valâs tone shifts just slightly.
âIs he now?â
Concern, buried under insolence but present.
Vox glances back at Alastor.
Alastor looks away as if bored.
âYes.â
âThen youâre welcome, mi amor.â
Voxâs screen glitches.
âHey! Do not make this my fucking fault in reverse.â
âIâm not. Iâm saying if heâs that reactive, you need better rules before somebody loses a hand, maybe he needs a muzzle.â
âFunny. Thatâs exactly what I called to discuss.â
âYou didnât call me.â
âWell, I was going to.â
âSure, Voxxie.â
The endearment lands in the room with irritating ease. Alastor studies the old radio nearest him with unnecessary attention.
Vox notices.
Of course he does.
His voice tightens further.
âYou donât touch him again. Not casually. Not to test him. Not to prove a point.â
âWow.â
âVal.â
âNo, no, I heard you. Hands off your deer-shaped nuclear incident. I was only trying to help. Maybe some BDSM will help will help you better control him, now that heâs half of a brain. Easier to manipulate. I can let you borrow some of my leashesâŠâ
Alastorâs eye twitches.
Vox pinches the bridge between his screen and casing as if that could help.
âGoodbye, Val.â
âWait, wait-â
Vox ends the call.
Silence returns.
Alastor says, very mildly, âDeer-shaped nuclear incident. And what is this âBDSMâ he was referring to?â
Vox slips the phone away. âDonât start.â
âI wasnât aware I had stopped.â
âWhat you need to focus on now is rest.â
âAnd you need better assistants.â
Voxâs gaze sharpens.
âTheyâre not assistants. Theyâre my associates.â
The correction comes too fast. Alastor notices. The room seems to notice too.
âAh,â Alastor says.
âNo.â
âI didnât say anything.â
âYou said âah.â Thatâs worse.â
Alastorâs smile returns, slow and unreadable. âHow intimate.â
Vox looks at him for a long second. There are several things he could say. That Valentino is loyal. That Valentino cares in the only ways he knows how. That the Vees are not simple, not to him, not to each other. That not everything in Voxâs life has been waiting for Alastor to return. He doesnât know how much Alastor really remembers about him and the Vees. He says none of that because Alastor is watching too closely and because some explanations sound too much like pleading. Before the silence can twist into something sharper, the door opens.
Velvette enters without knocking, already mid-complaint.
âOkay, what the hell is going on with the north-side system-â
Her phone glitches in her hand. The screen flickers and freezes, drops three active windows, and she stops dead and looks at the phone. Then slowly lifts her gaze to the room.
ââŠOh.â
Her eyes move fast.vBed. Couch. Alastor standing too straight. Vox standing too close. Old tech. Low light. Hidden corners. Frequency dampeners humming just beneath the walls. Then back to her phone. She taps it once. The screen flickers again.
She scowls, âYouâve got interference running in here.â
Vox says, âVelvette-â
She lifts one finger.
âDonât.â
He stops.
Alastorâs brows lift faintly.
Interesting.
Velvette steps farther inside, waving her phone slightly as if testing the signal with contempt alone.
âCute,â she says. âVery cute. Subtle as a hostage note, but cute.â
Alastorâs smile shifts.
Vox crosses his arms. âItâs not-â
âDonât finish that sentence if you value the few little scraps of dignity still rattling around in your fucking casing.â
Voxâs screen flickers.
Alastorâs eyes brighten with quiet pleasure.
Velvette swipes across her phone with quick, precise movements. Her nails click lightly against the screen.
âSome of my features are lagging,â she continues, âwhich is annoying, because unlike the rest of you dramatic fossils, I have actual work.â
A tap.
Another.
The phone stabilizes.
She smiles, sharp and satisfied.
âBut I know how to fix it.â
She lowers the device and turns fully toward Alastor.
âSo.â
A beat.
âYouâre the problem.â
Alastor, still standing on pride and very little else, inclines his head.
âHow charming. I was beginning to worry Iâd been reduced to a patient.â
Velvette glances at the bed. Then at Vox. Then back at Alastor.
âPatient, prisoner, pet project⊠honestly, the brandingâs a fucking mess.â
Vox says, âWell, heâs recovering, you know.â
Velvette snorts.
âOh, is that what weâre calling the weird little bachelor bunker with signal blockers and a suspiciously large fucking bed?â
Alastorâs smile grows sharper.
âBachelor bunker,â he repeats, delighted.
Vox points at him. âHey! Do not enjoy this.â
âI would never deny a lady her excellent phrasing.â
Velvetteâs gaze slides back to Alastor. For the first time, she really studies him. Itâs not in the way Valentino had: no lingering physical claim, no testing proximity, and no careless reach. Velvette stays exactly where she is, phone in one hand, hip angled, eyes sharp enough to cut through the roomâs softened light. Alastor notices the distance. He appreciates it, against his better judgment.
âHm, you donât like being handled,â Velvette says.
Alastorâs eyes narrow.
âOh, how insightful.â
âYouâre stiff as a board.â
A pause.
âNot in the fun way, my dear.â
Vox scoffs and mutters, âCan we not?â
Velvette ignores him. âYouâre standing like if you move wrong the room wins.â
Alastorâs smile remains fixed, but his ears tilt forward a fraction.
âAnd youâve arrived at this conclusion in what, thirty seconds?â
âGive me some credit. Twenty-two.â She glances at her phone. âAnd Iâm being generous, love.â
âHow efficient.â
âIâve worked with Vox for years. You either learn to read a room in under a minute or you get eaten by his fucking big ass ego.â
Vox looks offended. âHey! My ego is an essential part of this companyâs brand identity.â
Velvette laughs, âYour ego needs a leash and a crisis manager.â
âYou wound me. I have both.â
âUh huh, clearly not, consideringâ, she gestures around the room, âwhatever this is.â
Alastor lets out a soft, delighted hum.
Velvette catches it.
âOh, you like that, don't you?â
âOh, I do appreciate someone with competence.â
âThen you must be having a miserable fucking week.â
Vox says, âIâm standing right here.â
âYes, yes,â Velvette says. âThatâs part of the problem.â
For a moment, Alastor almost forgets the ache in his joints, just slightly. Velvetteâs presence changes the room differently than Valentinoâs had. She does not fill space by force. She edits it. Cuts through it. She exposes weak lines in its composition and rearranges the focus with a sentence. There is no comfort in her, exactly, but there is clarity. Alastor respects clarity. Velvetteâs eyes drop briefly to the green stitching visible at the collar and cuffs where his coat no longer hides everything.
Her expression changes only slightly.
âWhat happened to you? I donât remember seeing that the last time we saw each other.â
Vox answers too quickly. âHeâs just fractured.â
âWas I looking at you? No. Why are you answering for him? I asked him.â
The room stills. Alastorâs gaze shifts to Vox, then back to Velvette.
He could answer flippantly. He should.
Instead he says, âI seem to be experiencing a mild inconvenience at the moment.â
Velvette stares.
Then laughs once. âRight. So catastrophic magical trauma then. I donât touch all that voodoo shit, but I am aware of it. I can feel you spewing so much magic that I can smell it all the way to my floor.â
âMust you strip all poetry from the room?â
âOnly when itâs getting in the way of the obvious, love.â
She steps, not closer, but slightly sideways, changing the angle so she can see both him and Vox at once.
âHeâs hovering, you know,â she says.
âI am not,â Vox says.
Velvette doesnât look at him and whispers, âHe hovers when heâs panicking.â
Alastor turns his head slowly toward Vox.
Voxâs screen remains very, very still.
âHow unfortunate for him,â Alastor says.
Velvetteâs mouth curves.
âYeah.â
A beat.
âIt is.â
Alastor does not respond immediately.
Velvette sees that too.
âWeâve clashed a few times, but youâre not what I expected,â she says.
Alastorâs eyes return to her.
âDisappointed?â
âNo, no.â
She considers him openly.
âJust inconveniently interesting, love.â
âCareful,â Alastor says. âThat almost sounded complimentary.â
âNow donât get attached. I recover quickly, love.â
Vox exhales. âWhy are you here, Vel?â
She finally looks at him fully.
âBecause your shitty systems started acting like you were hiding a fucking nuclear meltdown in the back of the tower.â
Alastorâs mouth quirks.
âDeer-shaped, apparently.â
Velvette points at him. âThatâs funny. Donât encourage me.â
Vox pinches the bridge of his casing again.Â
Velvette continues, more pointed now. âYou vanished, north-side signal output dipped, private room dampeners came online, three of my phone features lagged when I crossed the threshold, and Val sent me five messages that were mostly swears and one very unhelpful moth emoji.â
Vox closes his eyes.
Alastor looks intrigued. âA moth emoji.â
âDonât ask.â
âWell, I wasnât going to.â
âYou absolutely were.â
âI was considering it.â
Velvetteâs gaze cuts back to Vox. âSo I came to see what was worth breaking the system over.â
Her eyes flick to Alastor.
âAnd surprise.â
The room holds that.
Vox says, quieter, âItâs under control.â
Velvetteâs face does something subtle. Something almost sympathetic, if she were a softer person.
âNo, it isnât.â
Voxâs screen darkens. Alastor watches the exchange with growing interest. Velvette looks between them, then folds her arms.
âYou know whatâs funny? Youâre both pretending this is a different problem.â
Neither answers.
She points at Alastor. âYouâre pretending youâre not one bad dizzy spell from eating the floor.â
Then at Vox. âYouâre pretending âkeeping him from eating the floorâ isnât making you insane.â
Vox says coldly, âThank you for the analysis. Are you done?â
âYouâre welcome. Pay me.â
Alastorâs laugh slips out before he can stop it. It was small and brief. Vox hears it. Velvette hears it. Alastor hates them both for hearing it.
Velvetteâs eyes flick back to him, not softening, but sharpening with satisfaction.
âHa, there you are.â
Alastor stills.
Something about the phrase echoes Mimzy. Different voice. Different intention. Same unnerving precision.
âWhy is everyone very fond of saying that?â he asks.
Velvetteâs expression turns curious.
âSaying what?â
âThere you are.â
A pause.
Velvette studies him more closely. Vox does not move.
Alastor regrets saying it the moment the room receives it.
Too revealing.
He covers with a smile.
âOne might think Iâve been misplaced.â
Velvetteâs phone buzzes. She glances down, scrolls with her thumb, then looks back up.
âMaybe you have.â
Silence.
Then she turns toward the door.
âWell. This has been creepy.â
Vox says, âVel-â
âNope. Iâve seen enough for one morning. Fix your fucking dampeners so they donât mess with my phone and systems, or Iâll fix them in a way you hate.â
âTheyâre not for you to handle.â
âI know. Thatâs why theyâre ugly.â
She pauses at the door and glances over her shoulder at Alastor.
âTry not to break anything while heâs gone, love.â
Her gaze shifts to Vox, then back.
âHe gets weird about his stuff.â
A beat.
âEspecially you.â
The door opens. Then closes behind her. The quiet she leaves behind is not the same quiet as before. It is sharper now. Alastor remains standing near the bed, one hand resting lightly against the post, posture too controlled to be comfortable. Vox stands near the console, arms still folded, screen unreadable. The room hums. The dampeners pulse softly in the walls.
Neither of them speaks.
At last, Alastor says, âShe notices too much.â
Voxâs mouth line shifts.
âSheâs good at that.â
âA dangerous habit.â
âOh, you would know.â
Alastorâs smile returns.
âYes,â he says. âI would.â
Another silence.
Vox looks toward the door Velvette left through. Then back at Alastor. For the first time, it occurs to him, not as an abstract risk, but as a real and immediate possibility, that keeping Alastor in VoxTek does not mean keeping him to himself. He built this room for himself and, lucky enough, to keep Alastor close. He had not considered that someone else might make him comfortable in it.
Alastor, unfortunately, looks like he has considered exactly that.
I grew up believing that if someone fell apart, it meant I hadnât done enough to stop it.
Not acting was failure. And not doing enough was worse. But how do you explain that kind of guilt at the confessional stand?
The guilt of standing on the shore while everyone youâve ever loved keeps walking into the sea. The guilt of surviving people who are still alive, but drowning. The guilt that no matter what you do, you are not enough to keep someone from choosing oblivion over tomorrow, and yet, that was your role.
My stepdad drank until his body finally gave out on him. He told me that he wanted to die and the night he went out to the bar I weakly told him not to go. That he didnât look well. But it wasnât enough.
A year before he died, he fell down the stairs.
A year later, my mother fell down those same stairs. Two empty vodka bottles on the table and Christmas lights still shimmering. She survived with a brain injury. If I wasnât there she would have died, and yet she kept going back to the thing that killed her husband and that almost killed her.
Everyone expected me to save her.
All it earned me was being screamed at, blamed, and hit. I became responsible for a woman who refused to save herself. She lies to herself saying that she doesnât drink, with a glass of whiskey half full waiting for another kiss of her lips. Her loyalty never lied with family, and yet I was expected to uphold that value.
And then there was my brother.
He was always searching for another exit. Marijuana. Shrooms. Fentanyl. Whippets. It never mattered what it was as long as he could escape his reality. He stopped trying to escape his own world and started trying to control mine instead. Holes in walls and destroyed doors turned to bruises and cutting me off from friends. He reached for power the same way our parents reached for bottles. But yet just as our mother couldnât blame herself, he blamed me for everything. He couldnât face himself.
No one knows how to stay.
They leave through alcohol.
Through drugs.
Through rage.
Through violence.
Through denial.
Everyone is forever searching for a door out of themselves.
I was the only one who ran in the opposite direction.
Or at least thatâs what I tell myself.
Because I left.
I escaped.
An entire family so desperate not to feel alive that theyâd rather poison themselves than change. Bottle after bottle. Drug after drug. Lie after lie. Hurting everyone around them because looking inward was somehow more terrifying than death itself.
And somehow I was supposed to fix it.
I was supposed to stop grown adults from walking willingly into their own graves.
Their escape just happened to come in bottles, bibles, or bongs.
Mine came with a packed bag and memory loss.
Iâm supposed to feel happy that I escaped. That Iâm not like them. But am I truly not like them? I inherited it.
Not the addiction, not the anger, not the denial or helplessness.
But the grief. The misery, that was passed down to me instead of any heirloom. And the guilt.
The guilt of realizing there was never anything you could have doneâand still feeling as though you should have done more anyway.