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@utilitybeltofsnackies
Damian: *Pisses Jason off*
Jason: …
Jason: Well guess whose little girlfriend is working patrol on his birthday this year, bitch.
Damian: …
Jason: Congratulations, you just ‘flatlined’ your plans this weekend.
Damian: That— That’s abuse of power!
Jason: Cry about it to HR.
Damian: You don’t have an HR!
Jason: Rip.
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Scarecrow: “What’s your worst fear?”
Stephanie: “Accidentally committing tax fraud or joining an MLM because the lady at the desk seemed nice enough.”
Jason: “Burger King shutdown.”
Dick: “Getting stuck in a revolving door with child witnesses.”
Duke: “Bruce learning slang.”
Barbara: “Opening an email that starts off with ‘Don’t be mad’ or ‘Per my last request’-“
Bruce: “Clark attempting ‘subtlety’.”
Damian: “My generation.”
Dick: “Hey, peptides and air fryers are pretty sweet!”
Damian: “…the social media edition.”
Dick: “…yeah.”
Scarecrow: “…is yours going to help me in any way?”
Tim: “Can you collect and destroy every energy drink within a hundred mile radius?”
Cassandra: “Accidentally hurting people, then being forced to carpool Karaoke.”
Scarecrow: “I’m moving.”
Sigh. At least I have this.
Bad writing is great!!!!
Bad writing means you took the time to write something, you, a real human being. It means you created something! And you have the awareness to see that there's room for improvement, too!!!
Bad writing is wonderful!!! Bad writing is a platform from which you can build your masterpiece! Bad writing is the backbone of good writing!
Give yourself permission to write badly. No, actually- give yourself permission to write something TERRIBLE. Give yourself permission to write such drivel that you can barely read it.
Nothing comes out a masterpiece the first time!! You think Isaac Asimov never wrote a total stinker he had to rebuild from the ground up? You think Jules Verne never wrote utter slop for a first draft?
WRITE SOMETHING AWFUL!!! Write something so bad you cringe about it years later!!! And then when that's done, write some more!!!!!
AO3– Lazarus Veins (Poll, Tags, Ships Below)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/71460061
Jason Todd didn’t plan on fatherhood, but a daughter who heals like Lazarus water she’s never touched wasn’t supposed to exist either.
Now the family death built in the shadows of crime and justices is bleeding out slowly, its veins full of memory and ruin.
Memory that Tim Drake feels shifting one at a time, an infection of the mind.
Ruin that Damian fears is his future as he reaches for a legacy not written in blood— trusting in a mirror who doesn’t know whether to stay.
Ra’s al Ghul’s empire is fracturing as his daughter builds her own from its wreckage.
Slade burns for revenge.
And LexCorp’s experiments have left Conner- Kon- scrambled between obsession, love, and identity.
Meanwhile, Owls whisper the hunt of ‘Lazarus Blood’— and the very Pits they seek to control are ill and fractured in trading decay for something what is still alive.
Blood doesn’t make family.
But what’s in the veins can be the difference between how we are hunted.
*Hears Damian Wayne won’t be in the Absolute Universe*: Damn it. There goes my favorite Wayne.
*Sees absolute (insert literally any villain here)*:
🙏✨💸🏆A WIN IS A WIN 🏆 💸✨🙏
BLESSINGS DO COME IN DISGUISE!
*Remembers there’s still a possibility of Jason Todd (🪦) and Tim (JJ🤡) + Absolute Joker*:
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You know what I find funny?
The idea of Damian Wayne absolutely losing his shit over that damn video game.
Like… imagine the developers changed a combat mechanic next game/update or retconned lore…
All of a sudden they have a three page letter in the mail, front and back, just this random ass kid from New Jersey losing his ever loving mind.
It is proofread. It has citations.
There are words like “abhorrent” and “consequence”.
None of their addresses were public knowledge, either, so how the hell did he find them? This kid hunted them down just to say his piece.
There are quotes. Some aren’t even English.
“It has not been modernized it has been DECLAWED.”
“You have managed to insult the intelligence of long-term players, anyone who has partaken in hand to hand combat, and— most impressively— yourselves.”
“How does one manage to undo years of progress within a single update, yet take two years to fix a map?”
“You corrected NOTHING. You simply gave up faster.”
“My father has adopted more children than you have raised your standards.”
Okay wait I was gonna do the tomb raider au with Damiline and I still want to write a Damiline fanfic but… what if I do Damirae but Raven is, like, a version of Baba Yaga trying to scare people away so her father’s cult doesn’t find her on the island.
Like I really don’t know where to lean with this now.
The more I write it the more I like both.
So yeah, even if I only get two votes total, this is how I’m making my decision:
Tomb Raider AU, Damiline or Damirae?
Damiline— Lean more tag-team tomb raider & uncharted duo.
Damirae— Lean more tomb raider & baba yaga.
Go to bed, Utility.
Both but only post one when completed and do slow update with the other.
late night doodle of damian and his son (knightfight you are so beloved in this household)
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO Y'ALL!!<3
HOW CAN ANYONE HATE HIM 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ MY SHAYLAAAAAAAAA
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
“Twelve Days with The Wayne’s”☃️✨🦇
https://archiveofourown.org/works/74560611
A Christmas Story
***Set in an alternate universe without heroes or powers.***
•Family Chaos. Dark Comedy. Sexual Themes.
•Shippings include: Tim x Kon, Damian x Rachel, Bruce x Selina, Dick x Kori.
(A Christmas Story)
Damian Wayne stays home for Christmas for the first time in years. Bruce Wayne has a color-coded binder of mandatory events. Jason Todd is sporting an ankle monitor. Tim Drake is secretly sleeping with the enemy. A hush-hush Wayne elopement featuring Vegas. Koriand’r accidentally gets people high. Cassandra and Stephanie plan to flee the country. Jimmy Olsen can’t catch a cab. The Kents are in an RV. Wally and Irey West get temporarily trapped. Dick Grayson crashes out over peanuts. Duke Thomas learns what it means to be Selina’s favorite.
And halfway across the world, Talia al Ghul— a literal dictator— realizes Damian refused to return home for Christmas because he’d rather spend it with his girlfriend (Damirae this time, sorry) and that suspicious ride-or-die group of friends.
Absolutely nothing goes according to plan.
(Rating change due to certain scenes/incidents.)
