#consultingjedi

Some of the banter from the battle scene in Yonder 5 for you!

One incident per word per WIP, greedy friend! (surprise, it's not all TMNT):

Leo had taken to pacing while April worked, and while she was thankful he seemed to have come out of his daze, his urgency was only making her hands shake more.  Didn't get it until they made the rooftop and made the jump, marking Raph's position immediately--taking cover behind rusted metal struts that used to carry a water silo, slamming a man up against them and letting him fall, Casey crouched behind him--and saw the enemy.  He paused for a moment, hands forming into weak fists, and then gave Hojo a pleading look. Raph didn’t stir until well after the paramedics left; until they finally closed the body bag and lifted Joi into the unmarked van that had quietly arrived. “I’m humouring a lot of people today, it seems,” Donnie muttered darkly, but threw up his hands. “The salt water will strip what’s left from the tower, and Leo’s right. There’s already debris at the bottom of the harbour. Adding more shouldn’t be an issue.” [mental note: add hands to this sentence somehow, clearly--] He had faith in Megumi's integrity as a doctor to deal with it even if it arose, but the thought of it left a bad taste in his mouth.

obviously i'm picking trigun. obviously.

10. worst part of fanon

honestly? very frustrated that everyone has just universally agreed that (tristamp) wolfwood's cigarettes are nicotine. YOU COULD BE DOING SO MUCH WITH PSYCHEDELIC WORM DRUGS AND INSTEAD YOU'RE JUST SETTLING FOR REGULAR OLD TOBACCO? disappointed, trigun fandom.

13. worst blorboficiation

i have actually not seen TOO much blorbofication beyond the characters i have already blorboified in trigun. that said, i feel like some of y'all are getting dangerously close to flanderizing vash. tristamp fans in particular, you're on thin fucking ice.

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

(NSFW AHEAD)

the whole "vash has plant-like genitals" thing. it's not bad, it just doesn't really do anything for me? y'all are tagging shit with "non-human genitalia" and like at this point i practically expect it. it's the same trouble i have with tentabulges in homestuck fandom, which is; y'all have this entire alien species that you could be doing SO MUCH WITH, you could have SO much crazy alien sex shit, and instead you've all collectively decided "oh he has a small penis AND a vagina and the lips are shaped like petals" like NO. COWARDS. BE MORE CREATIVE!!! GET FUCKING WEIRD WITH IT!!! IRL PLANT SEX IS SO FUCKING WEIRD!!!! I DARE YOU!!!!!

basically i have a lot of opinions about monsterfucking in all my fandoms and they mostly boil down to "the monsters you are fucking are not monstrous enough, you cowards."

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

You get...the first 500 words of Better in the Morning chapter 10! (Which I swear I'll get back to after Home.)

Then

T plus ten seconds after first nexus event

Significant variance energy detected

Multiple sequence violations in progress

Multiple variants identified: O9780 (Borson, Odin), L1291 (Laufeyson, Loki), T1216 (Odinson, Thor)

REDLINE IMMINENT

RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE RESET

The temperature dropped first.

Loki’s breath puffed out in a white cloud even as frost formed around them, dousing the remaining braziers and climbing up the walls, spreading over the ceiling with a crackle of forming ice.  He saw his fingers where they gripped the Kursed’s head turn blue, the color spreading up along the backs of his palms to vanish beneath his shirt-cuffs and uru-alloy vambraces, though as always he could still feel the change passing over him.  The color of his skin was the least of it; beneath that bone shifted, muscle hardened, internal organs rearranged themselves, flesh and sinew and cartilage all made the minuscule and not-so-minuscule alterations that turned him from one of the Aesir to one of the Jotnar.  His feet cramped inside his boots as his toes grew an extra joint each.  A few extra teeth forced their way through his gums and his left eye went entirely blind, the damaged rods and cones unable to bear the strain of the shapeshift.  When he blinked his eyes open – he had shut them at some point – his good eye saw everything through a spectrum a little different than his usual one, all the brilliant energy of the Kursed beneath him, the lightning crackling through Thor’s veins, pin-points of life forms barely visible through the insulating stone and marble of the palace.

The Kursed growled a curse in its own tongue, startled by Loki’s shapeshift but not particularly affected by it; the magic that had scarred Thor so badly a year ago slid off him with as little effect as Loki’s Asgardian magic and Thor’s lightning.

That was fine.  Loki had expected that, though it would have been useful if it hadn’t been the case.

The spell forms were still barely half-familiar, dissimilar from the ones he knew like he knew every corridor in Valaskjalf.  His mind grappled with them for a moment as he clung grimly to the Kursed, then caught the patterns and sank his magic into them.  Cold magic, the magic of frost and snow and ice; it might be his by birth but not by wyrd, and even after two years of half-hearted practice and one occasion when he had needed it very badly it still felt unnatural and alien.

Ice crackled and formed around them, the air growing incrementally more dry as he pulled moisture out of it.  The Kursed made a sound of startled surprise as he tried to move and couldn’t; ice had frozen into solid blocks against the floor and ran up his legs to his waist, then continued to grow up around his chest.  One arm froze where he had a hand clamped around Loki’s leg; his other was reaching to try and break the ice apart when the ice reached it and continued relentlessly upwards.

3. What’s a fic idea that you have but haven’t written yet?

Three of these, huh? Hoo boy. Buckle up. (These are all Trigun because that is my current obsession)

1. Time loop/reincarnation AU where 98 reincarnates to Trimax reincarnates to Tristamp. The idea is Vash (and maybe Knives) is the only person who definitely remembers previous loops, and this kind of pervasive tragedy of just... maybe THIS time he can do it, maybe THIS time he can save everybody, maybe THIS time Wolfwood doesn't have to die... Honestly the only reason I haven't written any of it yet is because idk what I want the format/framing device to be. Once I figure that out, it's over for you fuckers.

2. Red string of fate soulmate au. People are born with strings around their fingers that only they can see. The strings tie them to their soulmate(s), and the color of them can change depending on the relationship: red for romantic, blue for platonic, black for antagonistic. The strings are lax if the other person hasn't been born yet, and are "cut" when the other person dies. Vash is born with two strings on his hands: one which ties him to Nai, and one which will eventually tie him to Wolfwood. Dunno what the story is here yet so that's why I haven't written it.

3. I've already mentioned Nikki and the accidental pregnancy fic idea here, so instead I will tell you about the idea where WW's concussion during his fight with Midvalley causes brain damage that even the serum can't repair and leaves him permanently blind. Because he's fucking Wolfwood, he tries to pretend like everything is just fine, he's all healed up and can see perfectly, what are you talking about. (This does not last long.)

6.Have you written any fanfictions featuring OCs? If so, elaborate!

There are two that come to mind. The first is Anne from "Anyone Can Drive A Car..." It's just an outsider POV of Dave's first heat from my omegaverse epic "Smells Like Belonging," and the point of it was to let me establish what is actually normal in this world and not just. What Bro wants Dave to THINK is normal.

The other is "A Decent Sort of Bloke" which features my useless lesbian demon OCs Maggot and Bonecruncher and their long-suffering demonic wingperson, Orzalos. I should... probably fucking finish that fic eventually lol.

11. How many words do you have on AO3 (if you use that platform)

287,920

17. Are there any writers and/or stories that you consider an influence?