ok on my rewatch i got to the part of N killing "tessa" and I wanna ramble about how perfectly its set up and encapsulates (and kinda finishes) his character arc bc god its still my favorite moment in the show. big ramble incoming
I wanna talk about it in terms of setup first, ive seen people complain about it bc its "N chooisng someone he met recently over someone who hes known for years!" but i feel like that ignores ALL the context of the scene itself and also everything preceding it.
The start of the setup for the scene happens in episode 6 ofc, with the "I need you to choose the universe over one little drone" conversation. N still believes and trusts tessa here, and despite his hesitation, believes her and ofc grapples with that choice throughout the episode. nothings gone majorly wrong yet, he hasnt been given a reason to doubt tessa, and she still seemingly was sympathetic and caring for both him and sympathetic towards uzi.
But then theres the patch. the patch alone puts everything into disarray and gives him reason to doubt tessa. why would she lie about needing to kill Uzi if there was a way to keep her alive and stop her from being controlled by cyn? would the tessa he knew, the one who went dumpster-diving for drones that were considered trash, ever consider unnecessarily killing Uzi? especially after knowing how much she meant to N?
Not even mentioning another reason for N to doubt tessa: he walked in on her basically torturing uzi. she didnt make it quick, she dragged her sword through her wing and slowly pushed it into her chest. The tessa he knew would NEVER do that either. Obv he doesnt know or even think that tessa is cyn by this point, but he knows for sure this isnt the tessa he once knew.
But the thing so many of those complaints about N choosing uzi over tessa miss: he still gave her a chance. if this was actually tessa and she said she didnt know about the patch, he almost certainly wouldn't have killed her. ignorance wouldve explained why she told N about that choice bc she wouldve thought it was the only way to save the universe.
But this isnt tessa, this is cyn. so instead, she immediately goes to manipulation because she doesnt think he could actually do it. but this confirmed to N that this wasnt the tessa he grew up with. this tessa is manipulativie and malicious, so he kills her. he gave her a chance, and she didnt take it. it makes perfect sense from his perspective.
as for how it kinda completes his arc: its pretty simple. His whole arc is about standing up for himself, stopping himself from being a pushover, being more rebellious even. We see it slowly throughout, of course, like how instead of just acquiescing to V in episode 4 he not only argues with her, he does the equivalent of slapping someone to get them to listen, actually stood up for himself and Uzi. Pilot N wouldve been stuttering over his words like with how he talked to J.
This is just the conclusion of that. the logical conclusion of standing up for yourself and what you believe in even when that conflicts with someone else. Instead of acquiescing to Tessa, he stops her immediately. No hesitation even. He stands up for himself now when its something he believes in. idk if im making sense bc this parts kinda rambley but it just works so well as a conclusion to his arc. genuinely my favorite moment in the show.
ok yap session done byyyyyyye
